Lightning and Fang Sitting In A Tree
by Raziel12
Summary: A series (hopefully) of Fang/Light shorts based on the Fangrai February (now Fangrai Forever) prompts. Chapter 15: There exists a weapon far deadlier than any spear, sword, or bow. It is the pout... and now, finally, Lightning is about to unleash hers. No one is safe.
1. Chapter 1

**You Can't Always Get What You Want – But Sometimes You Can**

Lightning hated bars, and it had nothing to do with all the booze. It was the eyes that bothered her, the eyes that watched, and stared, and leered. It was almost as bad as being touched, and more than once, she'd walked into a bar, and imagined what it would be like to draw her gun blade, switch it into its gun form, and spin in a slow, lazy circle, the trigger pulled back as far as it would go.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Thankfully, she'd never actually done that. It wouldn't matter if she was famous, or if she had a lot of pull with the higher ups. Gunning down an entire bar's worth of civilians was not something the Guardian Corps could ignore. Her lips curled. Maybe she could claim they shot first? No. Amodar knew her a little too well for that.

"Here to pick up Fang?"

Lightning stopped. Turned. Scowled.

Lebreau stood beside the doors of her bar, her arms folded over her chest, a small, inscrutable smile on her lips. There was something about the other woman that had always bothered Lightning. It wasn't because she was one of Snow's friends. No, there were times when she felt like Lebreau could see right through her.

"Yes." Lightning frowned. "Is she almost done?"

Lebreau nodded. "Yeah. We're already closed for the night, all she has to do is lock up." She pushed away from the doors, and sashayed toward Lightning. "Do you want to know something interesting?"

"Interesting?" Lightning's jaw clenched. "Don't play games, Lebreau. It doesn't suit you. If you have something to say, say it."

Lebreau gave a throaty chuckle. "You're no fun, although I can see why she likes you." She put on a thoughtful expression. "She had a lot of attention tonight, Lightning."

"Attention?" Lightning stepped forward. "What do you mean attention?"

"People come here looking to have a good time." Lebreau glanced back at the bar. "Fang's friendly, nice, and pretty. Is it really such a surprise to hear that she gets attention? The girls love her, Lightning." She smirked and backed away, just out of Lightning's reach. "You'd better be careful or one of these days she'll be going home with somebody else."

"Fang is not going home with somebody else." The words came out in a snarl. "And you should stop talking right now."

"Fine, fine." Lebreau grinned. "I've said what I needed to say. Tell Fang I'll see her tomorrow."

Lightning said nothing as Lebreau turned, and walked off into the night. One of these days she was going to do something she'd regret. But perhaps that's what Lebreau wanted. The other woman liked to push people, liked to see how far they'd go.

With one last look at the night, Lightning turned, and pushed through the doors of the bar. A soft whisper of a song was playing inside, the words all but lost beneath the swelling, rising notes of an electric guitar. A faint smile crossed her lips. It was exactly the sort of song Fang liked, a curious mix of hard and soft, loud and quiet. Very much like the warrior herself.

But almost as quickly as Lightning noticed the song, she ignored it. Instead, her attention went to the bar, and to the lone figure swaying to the music as she wiped it down. Dear Etro, only Fang could make cleaning a bar look so damn alluring. The other woman's back was to her as she bent over, the cloth running over the polished timber of the bar.

The sweet curve of Fang's back was almost entirely bare, and Lightning was torn between wanting to throttle the other woman for wearing something so revealing – she hated the thought of anyone else _looking_ at Fang – and wanting to shove the other woman against the bar so she could lick the beads of sweat that had gathered at the small of Fang's back. She could almost see it now. Fang would stiffen in surprise and then she would melt, go soft, and weak, as Lightning's lips traced the outline of her spine, and went up to tickle the back of her neck. It would be easy then, so easy, to just lean Fang against the bar, and then slip a knee between her legs, and after that –

"You're staring awfully hard at nothing. Tough day at work?"

Lightning jerked back. When had Fang gotten right next to her?

"You're jumpy tonight." Fang chuckled. "Well, have a seat. I won't be too much longer."

Intimately aware of how close the other woman was, Lightning nodded, and took a seat at the bar. Fang's presence was like a bonfire at the edges of her awareness. Burning. Burning. Burning. Any closer, and Lightning would catch fire – if she hadn't already. Maker, when had she gotten so pathetic?

For the next few minutes, she watched Fang finish tidying up. She'd always had an eye for detail, but now she hated how good she was at picking up all the little things. There was the sway of Fang's hips as she walked, the shift of muscle across her toned frame as she moved, and of course, the way her jeans clung to the best set of legs that Lightning had ever seen.

"Want something to drink?" Fang slipped into a seat beside her. "Non-alcoholic though, since you're the one driving us home."

Home. If that wasn't a loaded word, Lightning didn't know what was. After Serah had married Snow and moved out, Fang and Vanille had moved in with her. And she'd been going slowly insane ever since.

It was all Fang's fault. The dark haired woman seemed to have entirely different standards when it came to modesty. It wasn't unusual to find her lounging about the house in her underwear, or to find her walking around in nothing more than a towel after taking a shower. After bumping into her in the corridor for what felt like the hundredth time, Lightning had been a hair's breadth from just shoving Fang into the wall and ripping that towel off. The damn thing barely even covered her properly, and it was damp enough to hide absolutely nothing when it came to Fang's figure. What made it even worse was the gleam in Fang's eyes. The other woman wanted her to do that, wanted Lightning to lose control and just take her. And more and more, Lightning wanted that too.

It had gotten so bad that Vanille had taken to creeping around the house like a ghost. The poor girl was probably worried that she'd either walk in on Fang and Lightning trying to kill each other, or walk in on them doing something else that would most likely still involve a great deal of violence and screaming, albeit with a healthy – or perhaps unhealthy – does of pleasure thrown in.

"Cola." Lightning had to force the word out. "I'd like some cola."

"Sure." Fang poured each of them a glass of cola. "Well, how was your night?"

Lightning stared as Fang tipped her head back and took a long sip of her cola. The other woman's neck was a slender, graceful curve, and for a moment, all she could think about was what it would feel like to press her lips against Fang's throat. She trembled. She was turning into a pervert, a sex-obsessed pervert, and it was entirely Fang's fault. If only the warrior didn't look so good, if only she didn't grate on Lightning's nerves so much, then Lightning wouldn't have all these… fantasies.

"The usual." Lightning looked away, and downed most of her cola in one go. The liquid was cold, icy, but she barely tasted it. "Drunks. A few car crashes. A wild animal or two."

Fang laughed, and Lightning twitched at the sound. She'd heard that laugh a thousand times in her dreams, and almost as many times, she'd dreamed of cutting it off, turning it into a moan as she showed Fang exactly which one of them was in charge. But it was funny. She didn't feel like she was in charge. Her whole body was on autopilot, every muscle moving of its own accord as she turned and stared at Fang again. Fang knew, oh yes, she knew what she did to Lightning. There was a knowing gleam in those green eyes, and a smirk on those full lips.

"I had an interesting night myself." Fang traced the contours of her glass with long, slender fingers. Lightning could think of better ways to use those fingers.

"Lebreau told me you had a lot of attention tonight." Lightning's expression darkened. "Does that happen often?"

"A bit." Fang grinned. "One of the perks of the job, I guess. A lot of the girls coming in here are just looking for a good time, and if they have one, they come back."

Lightning wasn't sure that she wanted to know what a good time entailed.

"They're a little noisy, but they're not too bad." Fang caught and held Lightning gaze. "They know what they want, you see. And they're not afraid to reach out and take it. Take this blonde who came up to me tonight. She was a pretty little thing, Lightning, not tall, but she had curves in all the right places, and the kind of eyes that you can't help but look at. They were a lot like yours actually, blue, although hers were a darker blue than yours, and she smiled more."

Lightning had to pull her hand off her glass before she broke it. "And what did you do?"

Fang tugged a napkin out of her pocket. There was a number there written in lipstick. "In case I ever want to call her."

"Will you?" Lightning hated the undercurrent of carefully controlled fury that filled her voice. Fang wasn't hers – even if she should be.

"No." Fang shrugged. "I liked her eyes, but they weren't quite my style. They were too innocent. I could tell, just by looking, that she'd never had to fight for her life, that she'd never waded through the blood of her enemies. I'd scare her, Lightning. When she saw exactly who and what I was, I'd scare her. She seemed like a nice kid, but she's not what I'm looking for."

"And what are you looking for?"

"Someone who gets it." Fang's voice had darkened, taken a rough, almost brutal edge. Lightning liked the sound of it. It made her insides clench, and her breathing quicken. "I want someone who can look right into me and not be scared of what she finds, someone who'll stand up to me and show me that she's my equal. I won't have anything less than that, Lightning, I won't."

"There aren't a lot of women like that around." Lightning swallowed thickly. She could feel Fang's gaze on her, could feel the other woman eyes tracing her face, her collarbone, her chest. "You might be waiting a long time."

"I've waited a long time already, I can wait a little longer if I have to." Fang's eyes shimmered. "Besides, who's to say I can't indulge a bit while I wait." She smirked. "That wasn't the only number I got." She pulled out another napkin, and then another. "That one is from a red head – tall, leggy, and curvy. That other one? A brunette. Quiet, but you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for."

Fang laughed, and Lightning's hand jerked across the counter and grabbed the napkins.

Rip. Rip. Rip.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Fang growled.

"I think you know exactly why I did that." Lightning pushed to her feet. The air was a million degrees, and she could feel the heat of it throbbing through her body.

"Do you now?" Fang got up as well, and Lightning shuddered as the other woman advanced until they are almost nose-to-nose. "Why don't you tell me?"

Lightning shoved Fang back, and she felt a thrill of anticipation run through her as the other woman's eyes narrowed. Good. She wanted Fang angry. She wanted Fang mad. She just wanted Fang.

"I've talked to Vanille about the Yun," Lightning said. "They were supposed to be great warriors."

"They were the best." Fang's jaw clenched, and Lightning could see the tension running through her.

"Vanille said that when they wanted something, they took it." Lightning shoved Fang back again, and felt her lips curve into a smirk as the other woman clattered into the bar. Good. She had nowhere to run, not that Lightning planned on letting her go anywhere. "But you're different."

"I –"

"Stop talking." Lightning put one hand on Fang's lips, and shivered when the other woman's tongue swept out to run along her index finger. "I know what you want, I've known ever since you moved in. But you haven't taken it."

"What I want, I can't take." Fang wrapped one hand around Lightning's wrist, and pressed her lips against the pink haired woman's knuckles. "Because it's the kind of thing that has to be given."

"And if I gave it to you? What then?" Lightning moaned as Fang began to trace small circles on the back of her hand with her thumb. Maker, something that simple shouldn't feel so good.

"It would have to be forever," Fang whispered. "You wouldn't get to take it back. You wouldn't get to wake up the next day and wonder if you'd made a mistake. It has to be everything, Lightning, or nothing at all."

"Everything?" Lightning laughed softly. "If I give you that much, I'd have to ask for the same in return. You wouldn't get to walk away either. You'd have to be mine and no one else's."

"That almost sounds like a proposal." Fang's hand trembled. "You know that, right?"

"I do." Lightning's lips curled. "And I'm telling you, right now, that if you want everything, you can have it. If you want forever, it's yours. I'm sick of this… this…" Lightning gave a growl of frustration. "You're driving me crazy, Fang, and I'm sick of it. I spent an hour in the shower today thinking up all the ways I could have you, and another hour at work wondering what it would be like to come home to you – not to the same house, but to you, because you're mine."

Fang's hands dropped, coming to rest on Lightning's hips. "I was kind of hoping you'd notice me."

"Well, I have." Lightning backed Fang up until the other woman was forced to sit on top of the bar, her legs parted just enough to let Lightning stand between them. "What's your answer?"

Fang leaned forward, their lips almost touching. "You keep asking me to take what I want, but it doesn't look like you're going to give me the chance."

"Oh, you'll get your chance." Lightning reached forward and grabbed hold of Fang's shirt. A quick tug and it was off, half a dozen buttons rolling across the floor. "But only after I've had mine. Sound fair?"

Fang's laugh turned into a moan as Lightning pressed against her. "You're lucky I like pushy women."

Lightning bared her teeth. "Believe me, I can be very, very pushy." Her hands ghosted along Fang's sides and along her back.

"Good." Fang relaxed, let Lightning take control. She'd take it back later, anyway. "Now how about we give Lebreau something to complain about?"

X X X

Lebreau unlocked the doors of her bar, and stepped inside. Her eyes widened. The place was a mess. Tables had been upturned, chairs had been thrown about, at least half a dozen broken bottles had been scattered around, and unless her eyes were deceiving her, the bar had been moved at least a foot or two back from where it was supposed to be, the bolts that kept it anchored to the floor all but torn out of their sockets.

"What the hell?" Lebreau bellowed. She reached for her phone and started to punch in a number. She was used to the bar being a little untidy, but it had been fine last night.

"Stop yelling."

"Ah!" Lebreau jerked back as Fang appeared from behind an upturned table. The other woman had the tattered remains of a shirt slung about her waist as a makeshift skirt, and a torn Guardian Corps jacket draped over her upper half. "You mind explaining this, Fang?"

"Not much to explain." Fang had the biggest damn smile on her face. "Lightning came and we talked. And then she came some more. And well, a little more after that. Oh, and then some more."

Whack.

"Idiot."

Lebreau gaped as Lightning Farron lowered the hand she'd hit Fang with, and tugged at the shirt that only barely managed to preserve her modesty. Her hair was a mess. In fact, it looked like a pink hedgehog had decided to die on top of her head. But what really got Lebreau's attention was the silly grin on Lightning's face.

Oh yeah.

"You two totally got it on, didn't you?" Lebreau grinned. "Wow. I mean wow." She looked around at her bar. "Do I even want to know what you two did?"

"Probably not." Lightning somehow managed to look regal despite the fact that she was practically naked.

"I see." Lebreau's lips twitched. "But you know, I'm going to have to ask you to pay for all the damage."

"Tch." Lightning scowled. "We'll pay." She and Fang shared a look. "It was worth it."

Lebreau chuckled. "Out of interest, who won?"

"Won?"

"You know, who was on top?" Lebreau's grin widened. "Who was the one in charge?"

Lightning and Fang stared at each other, and then spoke almost as one.

"Me."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, this is a contribution to Fangrai February. Check it out at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com. It's based on Prompt #6: In which Lightning is picking Fang up from closing down Lebreau's bar, and while she's there Fang starts talking about other hotties at the bar and Lightning gets jealous and goads her into having bar sex with her.

These prompts are nice, since they give me a chance to just bang something out quickly (if you'll pardon the pun), without worrying about having to construct a huge, overarching plot that requires tens of thousands of words to bring to fruition (I'm looking at you Wasteland and Whispers of the Gods).

Some of you are probably disappointed that I didn't include the sex scene. Rest assured that I haven't cut it out because of the restrictions on this website. In fact, there is no version of this floating around anywhere that has the sex scene. My reasoning for that is as follows: nothing I could ever write could fill in the gaps as wonderfully as your imagination. How exactly did they manage to destroy the bar so completely while, as Lebreau puts it, getting it on? What were they doing (and who was doing who) to uproot the bar?

The ending is my answer to the question of: who is on top? The answer: it depends on who you ask. Either that, or both of them.

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com.

As always, I appreciate your feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Snowball Fights are Fun (Except When We're Involved), or A Tale of Two Houses**

_Listen closely, for I have a story to tell. In the land of New Bodhum, there once lived a fair and lovely young maiden. Vanille they called her, Vanille the Vivacious, for her love of life and cheerfulness were known throughout the land. Only Serah the Spectacular, a young lady with hair as pink as a maiden's blush could match Vanille's good cheer. _

_For many moons, the ladies Vanille and Serah were fine friends, kindred spirits who treasured each other dearly, and through their friendship peace was kept between the noble House of Yun and the august House of Farron. But alas and alack – one day Vanille the Vivacious would fall to victim to treachery most foul, and from that day onward she would be known as Vanille the Vengeful, and never again would there be peace between the House of Yun and the House of Farron._

X X X

Vanille stifled a giggle and skipped down the street. It was a chilly winter's day, and it was so cold that she would likely have frozen in a few minutes if it wasn't for her thick jacket and gloves. But that was okay. She liked the icy touch of winter, and above all, she liked the snow. Nothing in the world was as much fun as good snowball fight (except, perhaps, for watching Fang bait Lightning), and she was off to Serah's house to ambush the pink haired woman. Serah would walk out the door and then whack! She'd get a snowball right to face. That would teach Serah to say bad things about Fang.

She skipped the rest of the way to Serah's house and knocked on the door. As footsteps drew near, she ducked behind the bushes beside the door, a snowball ready and waiting in her right hand. The door opened, and she let out a gleeful cry and hurled her snowball.

"Take that, Serah!"

Whack.

Snow wiped the snow off his face and grimaced. "Vanille?"

Vanille stared. That had not gone to plan. "Uh, do you think you could get Serah to come out?" She dropped the snowball she was holding. "I'd like to talk to her."

Snow shrugged. "Well, if you want to talk to her, she's right behind you."

Vanille turned. And took a snowball right to the face, and then another and another.

"Not ready to admit you're wrong yet, Vanille?" Serah grinned. "Eat snow, Dia!"

And with that Vanille went down, her hands raised in a futile effort to block the avalanche of snow headed her way courtesy of the younger Farron. As for Snow, the big man simply shrugged and went back inside, closing the door the behind him. He'd learned a long time ago that it was better to let Serah do what she wanted when she was in one of _those_ moods.

After a good five minutes of being pelted by snow, Vanille managed to drag herself out of the yard.

"Curse you, Serah!" she cried, shaking one fist. "I'll have my revenge –" Whatever else she would have said was cut off by another perfectly aimed snowball. After that, she decided that perhaps discretion was the better part of valour. Besides, she'd be back later – with reinforcements.

X X X

_And thus did Serah the Spectacular reveal her true, treacherous nature. From that day forth, she would be known throughout the land as Serah the Sly, a pink haired shrew of unrivalled duplicity and general malevolence. Wounded by her friend's betrayal, Vanille swore vengeance and took up her new name: Vanille the Vengeful. _

_Mindful of her pink haired foe's skill in the arts of war, Vanille sought refuge in the fortress she shared with her sister, Fang the Ferocious. There, she appealed to her beloved sister to aid her in her quest for vengeance, for to overthrow a foe as dastardly as Serah the Sly, she would need a warrior stout of arm and keen of eye. _

X X X

"And then Serah jumped out from behind some bushes and pelted me with snow!" Vanille buried her face in Fang's chest and wept. "It was so awful. I never even had a chance to defend myself. She ambushed me and I kept asking her to stop hitting me with snowballs, but she just wouldn't stop, and she kept laughing the whole time."

Fang and Lightning shared a sceptical look over Vanille's head. Fang wanted to believe Vanille – the red head was the closest thing she had to family – but she knew the other woman very well, and she had a feeling that things weren't that simple. Certainly, Serah had never seemed like the evil, homicidal maniac that Vanille's story painted her as.

"Tell me again, Vanille," Fang murmured. "What happened?"

And so Vanille again wove a tale of unbridled treachery and woe. Serah, utter villain that she was, had laid a cunning trap and then sprung from her hiding place to accost Vanille with snowballs, some of which the red head swore were nothing more than rocks covered by a thin layer of snow. The red had begged for mercy, even getting down on her knees in a vain bid to stay Serah's ruthless and tyrannical hand. Only after Vanille had been a bruised and bloody mess had Serah ceased throwing snowballs long enough for Vanille to drag her battered and broken body home, her ears ringing with the haughty sound of Serah's mocking laughter.

"I see." Fang wasn't sure whether she should laugh or cry at the sheer idiocy of what she'd just heard. "So, what exactly do you want me to do?"

Vanille leapt out of Fang's lap and thrust one fist into the air. "Avenge me! You know the rules of our clans, Fang. As my sister, you have to defend my honour! Serah totally betrayed me, and now she has to pay!"

"Is she actually serious?" Lightning was supposed to be working on some paperwork for the Guardian Corps, but halfway through Vanille's ridiculously overblown account of things, she'd decided that she could leave her work till later. This was far more interesting, and knowing Vanille, she was only complaining because she'd planned to ambush Serah herself.

Fang shrugged. It was at times like this that she wondered if maybe all that time in crystal stasis hadn't made Vanille just a little bit odd. "Technically, she's right. As her sister, I do kind of have to go over there and get revenge for her."

"Revenge? On Serah? Because of a few snowballs?"

Fang nodded. "Yeah."

"It wasn't just a few snowballs," Vanille insisted. She pointed to a perfectly unblemished portion of skin on her cheek. "See this bruise? I got that from one of the rocks she threw. I'm lucky to be alive. Another moment or two, and I might not have been able to get away."

"Right." Lightning reached for her coat. "If you're going to go over to Serah's house, I might as well go with you. Someone needs to make sure that things don't get out of hand."

X X X

_And thus did Vanille the Vengeful sway Fang the Ferocious to her cause, and together, they went to mete out righteous vengeance upon Serah the Sly. But they did not go alone. Lightning the Legendary had heard Vanille's plea, and moved by her words, she had come to see justice done as well. _

_As they drew near Serah the Sly's fortress of wickedness, the clouds darkened, and the chill winter grew colder still. An evil wind swept in from the south, and the whole street trembled in anticipation of the battle that was to come._

X X X

Fang winced as Serah opened the door. The younger Farron wore a very Lightning-like scowl on her face, and with her hands on her hips, and her eyes promising swift, horrible death, it was clear that she was in no mood for mischief.

"So, uh, apparently, I'm here to get revenge on you for…" She glanced back at Vanille, who seemed determined to use her as human shield. "What was it again?"

"Unspeakable acts of despicable treachery." Vanille glared at Serah from behind Fang. "And general wickedness and malevolence."

"Yeah, what she said." Fang looked back at Serah. "So, what do you think?"

"No." Serah shook her head. "Vanille was planning on ambushing me. She's just upset that I got her first."

"Really?" Fang gave Vanille a pointed look. "She didn't mention that."

"Of course, I didn't. It's a lie!" Vanille jabbed one finger at Serah. "Stop lying!"

"Then why were you hiding behind the bushes?" Serah practically threw Fang out of the way, and Vanille backed up as the younger Farron stomped over to her.

"I could ask you the same thing," Vanille shot back.

"Guys, that's enough." Fang put together a pathetically small snowball and dropped it onto Serah's head. "There, happy now, Vanille? Let's go back home. I need to polish my spear."

The red head was still gaping at Serah when Fang turned and started to walk away. "Kids," the dark haired woman mouthed at Lightning. Then a snowball struck her right in the back of the head, followed by two more. Fang turned, eyes wide with disbelief, and ate another snowball to the face. She scrubbed the snow away to find Serah smirking at her as Vanille hurried behind her for cover.

"See, Fang!" Vanille ducked behind Fang and shook one fist at Serah. "Treachery!"

Fang's eyes narrowed. She was almost certain now that Vanille was in the wrong, but she did not appreciate being hit in the face with a handful of snow. Never mind right or wrong, it was time to get revenge. "All right, Vanille. Come with me."

Lightning watched the pair run off, and she was about to follow them when Serah tugged on the sleeve of her coat.

"Lightning, do you think we could talk for a second?"

X X X

_And so, Vanille the Vengeful and Fang the Ferocious were forced back by the base, animal cunning of their enemy. Alas, Lightning the Legendary was caught, and though her heart and countenance were cold as ice, even she could not resist her sister's plea for aid. _

_Thus did the war begin – a war between the House of Farron and the House of Yun. _

X X X

"You'll help me, won't you?" Serah asked. "When they come back."

Lightning pried her sister's hand off her arm and looked around. Snow was huddled behind the couch, and the blonde gestured madly for her to run while she still could. "What started all of this?"

"You really want to know?" Serah nodded solemnly. "Then I'll tell you."

What followed was the second ridiculously exaggerated account that Lightning had heard that day. Apparently, Vanille had made a vile slur on Lightning's honour, proclaiming that Fang was in charge of their relationship. As any good sister should, Serah had countered that in fact it was Lightning who was in charge of their relationship.

Things had escalated from there, and Vanille had sworn vengeance. When she had knocked on Serah's door earlier that day, Serah had sent Snow to answer it while sneaking around via the backdoor to get behind Vanille. Snow's noble sacrifice – he'd survived a brutal, and utterly merciless beating from Vanille – had allowed Serah to strike a blow for her beloved sister's honour. Thus, it was clearly Vanille who was at fault, not Serah, and if Lightning had any sense at all, she would side with Serah and help her strike down Vanille!

"You do realise that you're being totally idiotic." Lightning glared at Snow. Perhaps he'd begun to rub off on Serah. Wasn't that a scary thought?

Serah grinned craftily. "So, was Vanille right? Is Fang really the one in charge?"

Lightning bristled at once. "Of course not." She scowled. "I'm the one in charge."

"Then you have to help me." Serah nodded firmly. "Otherwise, it'll be like admitting that Vanille was right."

That was some of the most convoluted logic that Lightning had ever heard, but she wasn't about to let anyone think that Fang was in charge of things. Admittedly, there were times when she let the other woman take charge – Fang was very, very good at taking charge – but Lightning firmly believed that when push came to shove, she was the one in charge.

"Fine."

X X X

_But unbeknownst to the House of Farron, Vanille the Vengeful had already put into place a plan most cunning and refined. For Vanille knew that in the art of war, it was not merely skill that counted, but numbers as well._

_Thus did Vanille send out a call to all the houses that lay about her own: Let the children come forth and join our quest! Let the youth of the street gather beneath my banner so that we might smite the wicked!_

X X X

Fang eyed the gaggle of children trailing after her and Vanille like a line of coat-wearing ducklings. "Remind me again, how are we not getting arrested for this?"

Vanille smiled. "Well, while you and Lightning have been busy doing all sorts of things to each other, I've made friends with all of our neighbours. I've even babysat most of the kids on the street." She turned and waved at the kids, who all waved back, their cheeks rosy from the cold. "Besides, we'll need more troops if we're going to beat Serah and Lightning."

"I suppose." Fang made a mental note to keep a closer eye on Vanille. One day she might be taking over the street, the next it could be the world. "So, what's the plan?"

Vanille stopped and turned to address the children. "Okay, kids, here's the plan. If you see anyone with pink hair, hit them with as much snow as you can. Got it?"

The kids snapped to attention. "Yes, Miss Dia!"

Fang stared. She really, really needed to keep a closer eye on Vanille.

X X X

_But the House of Farron would not be outdone so easily. For in her vast and terrible wisdom, Serah the Sly had gathered an army of her own. And with her sister, Lightning the Legendary to command them, her fortress was soon turned into a realm so hostile and so horrible that no enemy could ever hope to overthrow it._

X X X

"Who are these kids?" Lightning asked.

"I teach at the local primary school," Serah explained. "Most of them live nearby, and when I mentioned that there might be a snowball fight, they all decided to come." She grinned. "And you have to admit, they're pretty useful. Look what they've done already with you giving all the orders."

Lightning had to agree. Over the past half an hour, she'd barked orders, wrangled kids, and somehow managed to construct a makeshift system of walls and trenches that would help defend her sister's house from attack. The kids had loved it, and they'd taken to following orders far better that the latest bunch of Guardian Corps recruits. All it had taken was a few stout glares and the occasional narrowing of her eyes. Maybe one day she'd have kids, and if she did, she could only hope that they'd be this easy to manage. If they were anything like Fang though, she'd have her work cut out for her.

"Look!" Serah pointed down the street. "Here they come, and they've brought company."

And they had. Fang and Vanille were at the head of a column of about a dozen children.

"Serah!" Vanille roared. "Surrender or else!"

"Never!"

Vanille folded her arms over her chest. "I thought you'd say that." She nodded at the children. "Attack!"

X X X

_And thus did the Great War begin. It was a time of woe and a time of suffering, a time of courage and a time of honour. Children the size of dwarves fought with the courage of lions, and none who ever laid eyes upon the battle shall ever forget the deeds that were done that day._

_And how could they?_

_For who could forget the valour of Timmy the Terrific, who all of eight years old, stood fast against the endless hordes of Vanille the Vengeful. How swift and keen of eye he was, how bold and unrelenting. For a full five minutes, he held the ramparts of Fort Farron alone, and though he fell at last, buried beneath a dozen snowballs, the children of the street would sing of his deeds for days to come._

_And then there was Kelly the… Pretty Good, who stormed the trenches and led her compatriots in a desperate charge that drove Serah the Sly back to the very doors of her abode, and were it not for the cowardly ambush of Serah's minions, she might have struck down the pink haired enemy herself. Loud were the cries of lamentation that came from her fellows, and great was the vengeance they exacted._

_Of such deeds were legends made, and of such legends did all the children speak of at lunchtime until the next term of school began._

X X X

Fang ducked as another snowball whizzed by overhead. Children were going down all over the place, nailed by snowballs as they tried to negotiate the intricate systems of trenches that Lightning and her cronies had thrown up. Trust the soldier to turn her sister's lawn into a minefield.

"What do we do, Miss Yun?" The question came from Leila, a cute little girl a few months shy of her seventh birthday. According to Vanille, she lived two doors down from them. "There's too many of them!"

Fang put one hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's okay. Just stay close to me."

And with that, Fang leapt out of the trench she was in. Snowballs races toward her, and she dove, rolling into a crouch as she palmed two snowballs and struck a pair of kids square in the chest. They went down, screaming and simulating death of a most gory fashion, and another one of them leapt up, only to be hit right in the back by Leila.

"I got him, Miss Yun, I got him!"

Fang grinned. "Yes, you did. Now, come on, we're getting close."

The two of them darted through the snow as the battle continued to rage around them. Out of the corner of her eye, Fang saw Vanille yelling orders from one of the trenches, the children around her hastening to obey as Serah's minions rained down snowy death. Fang tugged Leila after her, and the pair of them crawled through a low trench before they rose and sprinted toward a wall of snow that a few of their allies had hastily built. She paused for a moment to let Leila capture her breath, and her eyes widened as she realised that at some point, more of the local children had joined the battle along with their parents. Instead of just taking up Serah's front lawn, the snowball fight had now expanded to take in a good half of the street.

"You've gone far enough, Fang."

Fang turned. Lightning was there. Beside her, Leila trembled. The little girl had seen Lightning mow down half a dozen of the older kids like they were nothing. "It's okay, Leila. Go help the others."

"But, Miss Yun –"

Fang ruffled the girl's hair. "It's okay. This one's too tough for you. Let me handle her." The girl nodded slowly and then ran off. Fang smirked and began to pace in a slow circle. Lightning matched her stride for stride. "You realise that all of this is crazy, right?"

Lightning's eyes flicked over to where Vanille and some of her children had taken a trench opposite Serah and some of hers. The two sides exchanged insults and snowballs at a frantic pace. "Definitely, but that doesn't mean I can let you win."

Fang chuckled. "Well, there is that." She readied herself for battle. "Do you think you can take me?"

Lightning's eyes narrowed. "Watch me."

And then they moved.

X X X

_Stories would be written, and songs would be sung of the battle between Fang the Ferocious and Lightning the Legendary. Two warriors bound by love, but separated by the feud between their two Houses. Such was their skill that the heavens wept, and such was their grace that even the winds gave pause and for the first time knew true envy._

X X X

After several minutes of non-stop combat, neither of them had managed to land a blow. In a last desperate bid to land a decisive attack, Fang lunged for another handful of snow, only to stop short as Lightning crossed the gap between them with impossible speed. She froze, a snarl on her lips as she eyed the ball of snow in Lightning's hand.

"Goodbye, Fang."

"Fang, no!" Vanille screamed and hurled herself in front of the other woman. Her body crashed to the ground, her chest covered in snow. She'd taken Lightning's snowball for Fang.

Fang grinned. "I won't let your sacrifice go to waste, Vanille. Take this, Lightning!"

But even as Fang threw her snowball, Serah leapt from her trench, and the younger Farron's body shuddered as Fang's attack struck her in the side. She tumbled to the ground next to Lightning.

"Oh." Vanille and Serah looked at each. "We're both dead. Truce?"

"Truce?" Serah giggled and sat up as the children in the yard continued to fight. "I'm not sure we can do that."

"In that case." Vanille grabbed a handful of snow and smeared it into Serah's face. "Take that!"

"Gah!" Serah growled and grabbed Vanille by the arm, throwing the other woman into the snow. "How do you like that?"

Fang stared, and then she grinned. "You know, Lightning, I think we've done our part for the day."

"Oh?" Lightning raised one eyebrow and leaned to the side to dodge an errant snowball. "What do you have in mind?"

Fang stepped neatly over Serah and Vanille as they rolled across the ground to the delight of the nearby children. "Since Vanille is here, we'd have the house all to ourselves."

"You're right." Lightning smiled. "Let's go home."

As they snuck out of the yard, Fang took Lightning's hand in hers. "You know why they were arguing right?"

Lightning nodded. "Yes, and for the record, I happen to think that Serah was right."

"Is that so?" Fang tugged Lightning over until they were walking side-by-side. "I happen to disagree. I guess we'll just have to settle things when we get home."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, this chapter was a little bit different from the one before. Heh. I'm a firm believer in letting the story dictate what style of writing I should use and once I saw the prompt, I just knew that I had to go for something light hearted. This chapter is based on Prompt #21: Something that fits the title "Snowball Fights are Fun (Except when we're involved)". Can be shippy or not!

There's not much to say about this chapter, so I'll turn to some questions that people asked about the previous chapter. Was that chapter (and for that matter is this one) in the same continuity as Ordinary Heroes and Tell Me A Story? The answer is…. I have no idea. I've written these for the prompts, so I haven't given that too much thought. Once I work things out I'll let you know. I will say, however, that this one definitely has a tone more similar to Tell Me A Story and Ordinary Heroes than the previous chapter.

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com. I've got a piece about H. P. Lovecraft up that you might enjoy. You should also check out at Fangrai February at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com.

As something of a contest, I'll give an invisible internet hat tip (and an imaginary cookie to boot) to the person who can guess which prompt I'll be tackling next (since there are a few that have caught my eye).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Little Competition**

"Mommy, can you help me with this?"

Fang put her book down on the dining table. It was a treatise on the work Cocoon's archaeologists had been doing to try and preserve the many ruins that had been found on Gran Pulse. As much as it annoyed her to have people poking around in those sorts of places, she had to admit that it was better than letting them crumble into dust. However, it wasn't often that Averia asked her – or anyone – for help, so she could always leave the book until later.

"Got a problem, kiddo?" Fang grinned, and just because she knew it would get to Averia, she reached over to ruffle the girl's hair.

Averia scowled and backed out of Fang's reach. "Mommy, stop messing with my hair!"

"But it's fun." Fang smirked and blocked the punch that Averia aimed at her jaw. It was a good punch, all things considered, but the girl had a long, long way to go before she could land a hit on Fang. Besides, even if she did, it wasn't like she'd do any damage. Fang had spent the last decade getting clobbered by Lightning for inappropriate remarks, teasing comments, and good old-fashioned Yun wit. "So, what's bothering you?"

Averia held up part of the Saturday newspaper. Custom in the Yun-Farron household dictated that every newspaper be split up amongst the family. Fang and Lightning got the news and sports, Diana got the comics, and Averia got all the puzzles.

"It's this." Averia pointed a grid printed on one of the pages. There were some numbers inside it, and thick lines split the overall grid into nine smaller grids, each of them 3 x 3. "It's called Sudoku, and I can't solve this one." She glared at the offending problem. "I hate it when I can't solve them."

"Sudoku, huh?" Fang studied the puzzle more closely. She vaguely remembered seeing something about Sudoku on television. Apparently, it had become quite popular, but she'd never actually had the chance to play it. "How does it work?"

Averia sat down next to Fang and pointed at the puzzle. "See these empty spaces? You have to fill them up with numbers between 1 and 9. But each number can only appear once in each of the rows and columns, and each number can only appear once in each of the smaller grids." Averia jabbed one finger at the problem. "I've done all the others already, but there's something wrong with this one. I can't get it."

"I see." Fang bit back a chuckle. No wonder Averia sounded so annoyed. The idea that something – anything – could get the better of her was not something the girl entertained very often. It also didn't escape Fang's notice that all the Sudoku puzzles were graded according to difficulty, and that this last one was labelled 'brain-meltingly hard'. "Have you tried asking your sister for help?" Diana liked puzzles, although she tended to like them more when she could poke, prod, or jump on them.

"She doesn't like Sudoku much," Averia grumbled. She had pulled a pen out of her pocket and was holding it like a sword, the tip pointed at the puzzle. "And she's watching cartoons now."

Fang glanced at the clock on the wall. Of course, it was time for the Saturday morning special of Gary the Gorgonopsid – one and a half hours of nauseatingly cheerful fun involving the vaguely educational adventures of a small (but growing) band of ridiculously coloured animals. It was right up Diana's alley, even if just looking at it made part of Fang's soul die.

"Well, why don't we try and solve it together," Fang suggested. "I haven't really played Sudoku before, but I'm not bad when it comes to puzzles."

"Thanks, mommy." Averia pursed her lips. "Here's what I've worked out so far…"

Over the next fifteen minutes, Averia painstakingly laid out the reasoning that had gotten her about halfway through the problem. Fang was impressed. Heck, she was way more than impressed. Her little girl spoke clearly and efficiently, and her reasoning was frighteningly complex and precise for a girl her age. She grinned. Yep, she and Lightning made awesome kids together, although she would always maintain, if asked, that it was mostly because of her.

"So, what do you think?" Averia asked, once she'd finished explaining.

"I think you're right about almost everything so far." Fang pointed to one of the spaces in the grid. "But unless I'm mistaken, we can probably say that space over there is a 2."

Averia's eyes widened, and she studied the puzzle for a few moments. "I think you might be right."

"Of course, I –"

"Actually, that spot should be a 3." Lightning set her mug of hot chocolate down on the dining table, and slid into the chair beside Averia.

"You think it should be a 3?" Fang's lips curled. "What makes you think you're right?"

Lightning shrugged nonchalantly. "I happen to play Sudoku now and then, and I can tell that it should be a 3."

Fang fought the urge to roll her eyes. What Lightning had just said was Lightning-speak for: I play Sudoku obsessively when nobody is watching, and if you think I'm wrong, you're clearly insane because Lightning Farron has never been wrong about anything, ever, in the history of the universe.

"No, it's a 2." Fang pointed to the numbers that she and Averia had filled in throughout the grid. "Look at all the other numbers. It has to be a 2."

"What if some of those numbers are wrong?" Lightning pointed to the grid. "That one over there should be a 5 not a 7, and that one should be a 2 not a 9. If you change those around then it's obvious it should be a 3 not a 2."

"Obvious?" Fang smirked. "Well, have you ever considered that maybe…"

As Fang and Lightning continued to bicker, Averia sighed. She loved her parents – they were pretty awesome most of the time – but she knew where this was going. It was going to turn into another one of their crazy competitions. Honestly, people thought she was competitive, and she was, but she had nothing on her parents. One time, they'd even gotten into a competition to see who could fit the most peanut butter into a sandwich.

If things went like they usually would, then her mom and her mommy probably wouldn't even get around to solving the Sudoku puzzle. Instead, they'd argue a lot, threaten each other, and then somehow get all touchy feely and mushy with each other. It would be horrible to watch, even worse than sitting through the Gary the Gorgonopsid special. She should probably just leave now and come back for her puzzle later.

As stealthily as she could, Averia slipped out from between her parents and headed for the living room. Gary the Gorgonopsid should be almost over by now, and there was a nature documentary coming up that she wanted to see.

Fang watched Averia walk out of the dining room. "Look at that, Lightning. You scared her off."

"Scared her off?" Lightning took a sip of her hot chocolate. "Not likely." She smirked. "I think she just didn't want to see her mommy get proved totally wrong."

"Is that a challenge?" Fang was not the sort of person to back down from a challenge, especially not when it came from Lightning. The fact that it was over a newspaper puzzle didn't mean a thing. Rain, hail, or shine, she'd answer any one Lightning's challenges, any time, anywhere. Naturally, she'd prefer that all of the challenges take place in the bedroom under hot and steamy conditions, but she couldn't have everything she wanted. Or could she? "Because it sure sounds like a challenge."

"I suppose it is." Lightning reached for a paper and copied the Sudoku puzzle onto it. "But you don't really think you can win, do you? I heard Averia explaining. You barely even know what Sudoku is."

"You're that confident?" Fang grinned. Pride cometh before the fall. "Then how about we bet on it."

"Fine." Lightning folded her arms over her chest. Naturally, Fang took a quick look. "The loser has to sit with Diana through all of her cartoons next Saturday."

Fang shuddered. That was a fate almost worst than death, but if Lightning thought that was going to scare her off, she had another thing coming. Besides, there were some things worth the risk of several hours of cartoons. "In that case, the winner gets to take charge for the oh… the next week." The leer she threw at Lightning, who was wearing a tank top and yoga pants, left precisely zero doubt about what she meant by 'take charge'. "Unless, of course, you're afraid you'll lose."

Lightning scowled. "I'm not going to lose." She lifted her chin. "And you'd better brace yourself, because for the next week, I'll be calling the shots." Her eyes narrowed. "And you can be sure I have a few things in mind." Scary. Sexy scary.

Fang bit back a grin. Poor Lightning. She was so easy to manipulate sometimes. Even if Fang lost, she'd still get a whole week of Lightning taking charge, and that could hardly be called losing. And if she won? Heh. She had a few ideas of her own. Scratch that, she had a lot of ideas, and a week would give her more than enough time to try at least a few of them. She could even have the kids sleep over at Serah's house with Claire for a night or two.

"Fang, are you fantasising about me again?" Lightning's eyes sparkled with amusement.

Fang shook her head and grinned. "Maybe. Want me to tell you what I was fantasising?"

Lightning's cheeks flushed. She'd learned the hard way that asking Fang what she was fantasising about usually led to the other woman demonstrating. "Let's just start."

And off they went.

Things started well, but as they passed the half hour mark, it became apparent that neither of them was getting anywhere. Fang was stuck on the last few spaces of the grid, and by the positively murderous expression that Lightning had on her face, it was clear that the pink haired woman wasn't faring much better. If anything, it looked like Lightning was trying to glare the answer out of the puzzle.

"This is harder that I thought," Lightning muttered. "What do you think?"

"Oh, I don't know." Fang waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "It almost sounds like you're admitting defeat."

"Oh, be quiet. I am not admitting defeat." Lightning scowled. "But I could almost swear there was something wrong with this one. I just can't get it to work."

"Excuses, excuses." Fang glanced back at the puzzle. She wasn't any closer to solving it, but Lightning was so adorable when she was all frustrated like that. "When I win –"

The doorbell rang, and Vanille's voice came through the front door. "Hey, guys, it's me, your favourite auntie." She paused. "And guess what? I've got candy!"

As soon as the word 'candy' was spoken, both Averia and Diana raced to answer the front door. A few moments later, the red head stumbled into the kitchen with Diana on her back and Averia grinning from ear-to-ear. Her mom and mommy might have turned the Sudoku puzzle into another competition, but she was sure her Aunt Vanille could help her with it.

"So, Averia tells me that you two are having problems with a Sudoku puzzle." Vanille reached back and handed Diana a piece of chocolate. "Why don't you let me have a look?"

"Be my guest." Lightning waved one hand at the problem. "But you should know that we've both been working on it for a while now and –"

Vanille laughed. In fact, she laughed so hard that she barely managed to get Diana off her back before she fell to her knees.

"What's so funny?" Lightning growled.

"Well, it's just that this problem is impossible. You two can see that right?" Vanille chuckled and dragged herself back up to her feet.

"Impossible?" Fang and Lightning looked at each other. "What do you mean impossible?"

Vanille settled down at the dining table and pulled chairs out for Averia and Diana. "I mean exactly what I said. It's impossible." And then, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, she rattled off an explanation for why the starting numbers made it impossible to fill in the grid while following the rules. "So you see, there's actually a typo in the starting numbers. If you change those two around then you can solve it, but as it stands, there's no way to fill in the grid and follow the rules." She tilted her head to one side. "So… I'm guessing neither of you noticed that… and why do you two look like someone stole your cookies?"

"It's nothing." Fang sighed. If the problem was impossible then that meant the bet was off. "Girls, why don't you take your candy to living room. We'll be there in a second." Once the two girls were out of earshot, Fang gave a wry chuckle. "We were sort of betting on which one of us would solve the puzzle first."

"Betting?" Vanille gave them both a sly grin, and Lightning looked away, her cheeks a rosy pink. "Is that what they call it these days? You perverts."

"Stop that." Lightning scowled and reached for her laptop. "How do we even know you're right about the problem being impossible? I'm going to check the newspaper's information site." A few keystrokes later, and her scowl deepened.

Vanille popped a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "I was right, wasn't I?"

Lightning refused to look at her. "Maybe."

"Honestly, it's like you've forgotten which one of us built a robot, and which one of us was able to get it working again after five hundred years." Vanille grinned. "Anyway, who says you can't bet on something else. There's always the crossword."

And with Fang and Lightning were off again.

"I'll be in the living room with the girls," Vanille said as she stood and gave Fang a pat on the shoulder. "You can thank me later."

"Thank you for what?" Fang asked. She wasn't bad when it came to crosswords, but Lightning was a monster.

"A certain somebody happens to make crossword puzzles for the newspaper," Vanille whispered. "Look at 41 across."

Fang's eyes widened. "21 across: The Dia word for cheater?" She chuckled. "You're right, I do owe you. Now get out of here before Lightning notices."

It took two more minutes for Lightning to notice. It took her another two minutes to corner Vanille in the living room, and a further five minutes for her to pry the information out of Vanille after the red head decided to use Averia and Diana as human shields.

And Fang? It took her exactly seven minutes and thirty seconds to finish the crossword, and one minute and thirty seconds to figure out what she wanted Lightning to do for her first. It involved an apron, and very little else.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This is based on Prompt #16 for Fangrai February: Something fluffy: Lightning and Fang are ridiculously competitive at everything - even at the puzzles in the morning paper.

When I saw this prompt, I thought I'd give it a try, and since none of the chapters thus far have included the kids, I thought I'd slip them in too. This chapter is much more straightforward than the other two in that it's just a straight up fluff piece with a little bit of innuendo and some mischief (from all the usual suspects).

There are times when I wonder what Averia is thinking. She's got a slightly crazy (in the best possible way) little sister, one mother who loves to tease and poke at her other mother, and an aunt who is her little sister's partner in crime most of the time. I really do think she might be the sanest person in the family (although that isn't saying much).

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com. You should also check out at Fangrai February at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com.

I would also like to apologise to all of you who tried to read Chapter 2 of this story over the weekend. I uploaded it, but due to errors on the part of this website, it was totally inaccessible. As you can imagine, I was kind of annoyed. There's nothing worse than getting an alert for a new chapter only for that new chapter to not show up. If you haven't had a look at it, do take a look. It's (hopefully) humorous, and I think you'll enjoy it.

Also, an invisible internet hat tip (plus an imaginary cookie) to mcoyne for correctly guessing that I'd give prompt #16 a try. Whoever guesses the next prompt gets an imaginary Gary the Gorgonopsid plush toy. As a bonus, it'll also have an imaginary signature from Diana on it.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Late Night Snack**

Vanille padded down the stairs. Living with Lightning had quite a few advantages, but one of the best was access to a well-stocked fridge. Oh, it wasn't like she'd starve to death if she lived on her own, but Lightning was so good at keeping track of everything. The moment they even started to run low on something – whether it was ice cream, bread, or even toilet paper – Lightning had already bought enough to last another week. It was utterly uncanny, and what made it even more impressive was that Lightning didn't even seem to check on all these things, she just knew.

Of course, Lightning did have another reason to keep the fridge full. The pink haired woman had quite the sweet tooth, and she absolutely hated to be out of ice cream. In fact, the last time they'd run out, things had gotten so bad that Fang, of all people, had run full-pelt to the nearest convenience store to get some more. Lightning's glare was terrifying at the best of time, but when she didn't have any ice cream it was something else entirely. Vanille still had nightmares about it.

So there was always ice cream in the fridge, and that meant there was always ice cream on hand whenever Vanille wanted a little late night snack. It was a pity that Lightning seemed to hate vanilla ice cream, but chocolate wasn't too bad, and strawberry was great with a cherry on top. She'd have to be careful though. If she actually got caught borrowing some of Lightning's ice cream – she preferred not to think of it as stealing – she would most likely end up scrubbing the house's toilets until she died of old age. So rather than whistle a merry tune at the thought of some ice cream, she crept as quietly as she could into the kitchen. The lights were off, and she couldn't risk turning them on, but that was all right. She'd already memorised the layout of the kitchen.

She tiptoed over to the fridge, and opened the freezer. Perfect, the ice cream was right there, and judging by the weight of the container it was still almost full. This was where things got tricky. She needed to take enough to satisfy her own sweet tooth, but not so much that Lightning would notice. The trick was to take a little bit of ice cream from all over the container, rather than scooping all of it out from the same spot. And if she did get caught, she could always blame it on Fang. Lighting and Fang had been stalking each other like hungry dragons for some time now, although Vanille was fairly sure they didn't want to eat each other, at least not in the conventional sense.

Urgh… now that was an interesting mental image. Not that Lightning and Fang were unattractive, on the contrary, they were two of the most attractive people that Vanille knew, but she didn't really think of them that way. Well, she had wondered a few times – and she'd had some really weird dreams – but that was it. She was strictly look but don't touch when it came to those two. And Serah. But that was another matter entirely, and something that she really, really didn't want to think about when it was this late at night.

Setting the ice cream container down on the counter, she wandered over to the other side of the kitchen to get a spoon. It was still too dark to see, but she'd done this enough times to know exactly where the spoons were. All she had to do now was reach out and…

What. The. Hell.

Instead of the kitchen counter, her hand was touching someone's leg. There was someone else in the kitchen.

"Ah! Burglars!" Vanille screeched as she stumbled toward the door out of the kitchen. She fumbled for the lights and turned, ready – and very much willing – to incinerate the horrible criminals that had broken into the house. Never mind the kitchen, she'd pay Lightning back once she turned the burglars into very dead, very unthreatening piles of ash.

Only, when the lights came on, it wasn't burglars in the kitchen with her.

"Uh… hi." Fang waved up at her from the floor. She looked like she wanted to stand, but she wasn't having much luck, not with Lightning on top of her. "Did you come down to get a late night snack?"

Vanille lowered her hand, and gave slow, slow nod. What was going on? Why were Fang and Lightning in the kitchen hiding in the dark? Did they know that she was sneaking ice cream?

And then she noticed how they were dressed.

Lightning was sprawled on top of Fang in her Guardian Corps uniform, or at least, sort of in her Guardian Corps uniform. The pink haired woman's jacket was currently dangling from one of the lighting fixtures, and her shirt looked an awful lot like someone had ripped it in half. Her bra was still on, but only barely, since Fang's left hand seemed very much in the process of taking it off. As for Fang's right hand… that seemed to have hiked Lightning's skirt up above her waist, revealing the soldier's rather interesting choice in underwear. Hmm… black lace. Very nice.

"Yeah, I was hungry so I thought I'd get something to eat."

Vanille couldn't help but stare as Lightning climbed off Fang and did her best to adjust her clothing. Fang, Vanille noted, wasn't wearing a great deal either. In fact, apart from a baggy t-shirt that she was busy tugging back into place, and a pair of shorts, she didn't seem to be wearing anything at all. It didn't help appearances that Lightning still had one of her hands down Fang's shorts. Vanille gave the hand in question a pointed look, and Lightning's face went the most adorable shade of red before she yanked her hand out of Fang's shorts.

"So… what were you two doing?" Vanille smiled, and her smile only widened when Lightning actually began to squirm beneath her gaze. Forget the ice cream, this was much more interesting.

Fang looked at Lightning and then back at Vanille. "We were –"

Lightning cut in. "Fang was helping me with my injury."

"Your injury?" Vanille tilted her head to one side. Oh, this would be fun. "It's funny you should say that since you don't look injured, and I can't think of an injury that would make it necessary for you to rip off your shirt and your bra." She paused and gave Lightning another frank look. "Nice bra, by the way, really matches the panties."

Lightning's jaw clenched. "I had a cut on my side, Vanille. Fang was healing it."

"And I suppose you had a cut on your inner thigh too, since you had your skirt hiked up." Vanille giggled. "You must have been up against quite an animal to get injuries like that." Lightning flushed again, and Vanille bit back a laugh. No wonder Fang liked teasing her so much. She was adorable when she got all flustered.

"I had a busy night." Lightning ground each word out. "Okay."

"I'm sure you did." Vanille skipped over to one of the drawers and pulled out a bowl before she reached past Lightning and Fang to get a spoon. Maybe she would have that ice cream after all. It wasn't like Lightning could chew her out now, not after what she'd seen. Oh, she couldn't wait to tell Serah. "But what about your hand down Fang's shorts? Did she get injured too?"

"Yes." Lightning eye twitched. "It was a hip injury." She glared at Fang. "Right, Fang?"

"Uh… sure." Fang winced. "A hip injury." She paused. "Lots of… nasty animals out there tonight, really troublesome."

"Uh huh." Vanille ignored the terrible scowl that Lightning gave her as she filled her bowl with ice cream. She smiled. "I'm going to go upstairs now, so by all means, keeping tending to each other's injuries." She headed to the kitchen door, bowl of ice cream in hand, and then stopped to toss the last few words over her shoulder. "Oh, and make sure you wipe down that counter you were on when you're done. Some of us make sandwich on that counter."

Lightning's strangled squawk of outrage was music to her ears.

And the ice cream? It had never tasted better.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, this is based on Prompt #52 for Fangrai February: Vanille catches Fang and Lightning in a compromising position, leading to very hurried explanations being given.

As soon as I read that, I heard this little voice calling to me… "Write it, Raziel 12… write it…" And so I did. Now that voice might be due to the fact that it's 5 AM over here, but I couldn't stop myself from rattling this off (especially since it pretty much wrote itself in an hour or so).

The astute reader will also notice that ice cream is more than just a sweet treat here (think Chapter 2 of Ordinary Heroes). If we equate Fang to chocolate, Lightning to strawberry, and Vanille to vanilla, well, we get a statement of sorts about pairings. As for strawberry with a cherry on top, that would be Serah.

And for anyone who was wondering: no, Lightning was not injured, and neither was Fang, although something (or somebody) was probably going to get eaten. I have also heard the culmination of the activities they were engaging in (or were about to engage in) referred to as _la petite mort_ (French for 'little death), so I suppose there is that. Yes, my mind is a scary place filled with any number of puns, most of them lame (indeed, I must apologise for this paragraph). I blame my lack of sleep.

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com. I have a statement of sorts up regarding why I ship Fang/Lightning. You should also check out at Fangrai February at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Knight**

There is a field a mile beyond the walls of great Oerba, a field where no flowers grow, nor will ever grow. It was there, a year ago, that the flower of Cocoon's youth failed. It was there, a year ago, that the earth drank deeply of brave men's blood. Not even the birds will cross it now, and not even the wind cares to linger long.

But there is one who lingers.

Her name was Fang, Spear of the Yun, and High Marshal of the Clans. There, upon that barren field she lingered, her eyes drawn to the tall, broken rocks that brooded, still and quiet, another mile away. In the distance, the clouds grew dark, and the echo of thunder rang out across the plains. How well she remembered this place. How well she wished she could forget.

A year ago, the armies of Cocoon had gathered. They came across the plains, marching in flawless lockstep, and threw their might against the wall of old Oerba, walls that had stood for a thousand year and would stand a thousand more. Their flags and banners fluttered in the breeze, and their armour shone pale silver in the sun. Their cries rang out like thunder, and when their archers fired, it was as though a steel cloud had risen, there were so many.

But Oerba had not stood alone. From the ancient city went forth heralds to every clan and kingdom in the land. All of Gran Pulse answered the summons, and Fang was given command. She rode at the head of ten thousand, and through cunning, she caught the enemy by surprise. They fell upon the soldiers of Cocoon from the rear and soon put them to flight. But it was not the soldiers who fled first, but the generals, and then the knights, and then all was sound and fury.

The cries of the dying, the bellows of the living – how clearly she remembered the senseless din of war. Swords rose and fell like waves against some distant, long-forgotten shore, rose and fell until they were blunt from all the flesh they'd split and all the bone they'd broken. Her soldiers waded through bodies piled knee high, and the fields of Oerba would never grow right again.

There would be no ballads sung to honour that battle, no stories told of great deeds. There was no honour in butchery, no great deeds to be found in cutting down an enemy in full flight.

Only a single knight stayed fast to muster the tattered army, only a single knight held firm against the tide of fear and panic. Fang saw her from afar. Her helm was split and cast aside to show pink hair, her brow was cut and bruised, but her eyes still shone. They were the blue of the open sky just shy of summer, and they did not know the meaning of surrender.

That lone knight seized hold of the five hundred that still remained, and led them fighting from the field on which their fellows perished, to a place of jagged rocks and winding paths. For a full two weeks, Fang set her forces upon those five hundred, but she might as well have set them against a mountain for all the luck they had. All around those jagged rocks, and all along those winding paths, her soldiers fell. And soon where only eagerness had been, only fear remained.

"They are not men!" her soldiers cried. "They are demons!"

But Fang did not see demons, she saw men. Brave men. Proud men. Desperate men. And at the head of them, her eyes aflame and her sword aloft, was that solitary knight. Her armour was broken, her cloak stained and torn, but she was resplendent still, shining with the glory that only hopeless battle could ever bring.

At last, Fang had no choice but to lead the attack herself. So she gathered a thousand of her finest and led them into that place of jagged rocks and winding paths. Almost at once, the soldiers of Cocoon fell upon her, and if they were not demons, they were close.

As the battle raged, the lone knight herself came forward, and with a cry, she threw herself at Fang. They met in a clash of sword and spear, and their blows echoed loud over the chaos of battle. Each blow of the knight's sword threatened to tear Fang from her horse, but she waited, waited keenly for the chance to put her spear to work. Just one strike and the battle would be done.

Fang had fought many battles, and she had earned her rank a hundred times over, but she had never fought anyone like the knight. The knight knew neither doubt nor hesitation, and she cared not at all for her own life. In the end, she would fall before Fang's numbers, but she would sell her life as dearly as she could.

Finally, the knight's long weeks of battle began to take their toll. She tired, and Fang leaped forward, and her spear struck home. The weapon bit deep, and the knight was thrown to the ground. It was a mortal blow, but as Fang sought to pull free her spear, firm hands closed about it. Through lips already pale, the knight spoke.

"Let them go home."

Fang had heard the words of a thousand dying men, but no words like this had ever passed their lips. "Speak again," she whispered. "So that I might hear."

"Let them go home." It was a prayer, spilling from the knight's lips. "Let them go home."

Fang's hold on her spear grew loose. The knight sought for mercy – not for herself – but for her men, for those she had led when all others had deserted them.

"Why?" Fang asked.

And the knight replied, "I am dying, and so must all my men if you do not relent. But if we must die, then we will kill ten for every one of us that falls, and the tears of our people will be matched only by the tears of yours." Fang looked about and saw the knight spoke truly. So many had died again, and so many of them were hers. "You have won the war. Oerba is safe. Let them go home."

"And you?" Fang whispered. "What of you, who cannot go home?"

"This bare earth must be my home now." The knight's grip grew loose upon the shaft of the spear, and her eyes, though they still shone defiance, began to cloud. "But let them go home."

And Fang's heart was moved. All the other knights had fled and the generals also, but this knight had stayed, stayed to fight a hopeless battle that could only end one way. Yet, perhaps there could be a worthy ending, for above all things, the Yun prized valour. How could she deny the knight's request?

"Stop!" Fang cried. "Stop!"

At once, her soldiers fell back into formation, and guardedly, the soldiers of Cocoon did likewise. Fang turned her gaze then to the knight. "I will let them go home."

The knight smiled. "Thank you." And then she was gone.

"You there." Fang looked at the boy who had dropped to his knees beside the knight. "What was her name?"

The boy looked at her, pale hair stained with blood, and green eyes glittering with tears and fury. "Her name was Lightning."

Fang turned on her heel. "You and your fellows shall live because of her. You are free. Go home." Cries of outrage came from her soldiers, but she silenced them with a snarl. "Where is the honour here? Our city is safe. Their dead litter the fields. Let them go home. Let them speak of the courage of their leader, and of the honour of their enemies. Let them say we were warriors not butchers. Let them say that the clans still honour valour." Her men grew quiet, and she turned once more to the boy. "How do you bury your dead?"

"With fire," the boy replied. Others came to take hold of the body, but he would not let it go. "But there is no wood here for a pyre."

"You shall have wood," Fang replied, and with a gesture, she sent some of her men to fetch it. "Not for the earth and the worms so fine a knight, not for the vultures to pick clean. The fire is fitting. Let it burn her. Let it give her to the winds and the sky. That is how a knight should pass."

And so wood was brought, and the knight was carried to the greatest of the jagged rocks. There, they built a pyre and burnt the knight upon it. When it was done, the knight's men went home, and Fang watched the winds scatter the knight's ashes to all the corners of the earth.

A year had passed since then, and Fang stood once again, upon the field looking toward the rocks. Cocoon would come again, and again she would turn them back. But there would be no Lightning this time, for some things and some people only come but once.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

Well, I'm not sure what to say about this one really. It's definitely a bit more melancholic than the others. With regards to style, I like to mess around a bit, see what works. I've been interested in writing something a bit more archaic for a while now, and this prompt seemed appropriate (it's Prompt #40: Two knights clash weapons. One fights for kingdom of Pulse, the other for Cocoon. Art or fic is cool.).

There is a certain… lyrical quality to some of the older writers (perhaps the most well-known example of this would be Tolkien), and it's something I'd like to add to my writing toolbox. Anyway, let me know if you think it worked or if it fell flat on its face. This chapter (more than the others) is something that is meant to be read aloud. It never hurts to learn how to write in different styles, and this is getting me back in the mood for _Whispers of the Gods._

A few people have asked if I'm going to revisit the "steamy" stuff (e.g., Chapter 1). The answer is… probably. There's a particular prompt that's caught my eye, so we'll see how it goes.

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com. You should also check out at Fangrai February at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	6. Chapter 6

**Surrender**

Lightning eased the front door open, and then kicked it shut behind her. It wad dark inside, dark and still and quiet, and she was startled by how much that bothered her. After Serah had moved out, she'd gotten used to an empty house. And then Fang and Vanille had moved in, and the house had never felt empty again. At times it even felt crowded.

More often than not, Vanille would still be awake when she got home. The red head would be sprawled on the couch, a bowl of cereal in front of her and another pointless show on the television. Years ago, Lightning probably would have grabbed her by the scruff of her shirt and thrown her off the couch, but things had changed. She had changed. Now, she just padded into the kitchen for a bowl, and sat down beside Vanille to enjoy her own bowl of cereal.

And then? Then they'd talk. It was easy, so easy to talk to Vanille. The Oerban liked to tease and poke and prod, but she always knew when to back away, she always knew how far she could push before Lightning finally decided to push back. And Vanille could see right through her, even if most of the time, she was content to let Lightning hold onto the masks she wore. The cold, aloof, uncaring soldier – Vanille let her have that, let her hold onto it because she understood that there was a part of Lightning that still needed it, would probably always need it. Once upon a time, she'd thought Vanille was a childish, naive fool, but those days were long gone. Vanille was like a sister to her now, another addition to the small, but growing list of people that Lightning actually gave a damn about.

Of course, Fang was on that list too. But Fang never greeted Lightning at the door. Instead, she let Lightning have her time with Vanille, let her bask, at least for a while, in the warm presence of the Dia. Fang always waited until Lightning had finished her first bowl of cereal, and then she'd come in and rest her head on Vanille's lap, her long, shapely legs left to dangle over the arm of the couch. And Vanille would flash Lightning that small, secretive smile. Oh yes, Vanille saw right through her.

Every time Lightning saw Fang's head in Vanille's lap, she shivered. Part of it was genuine mirth – more than once, Vanille had 'accidentally' dropped a spoonful of cereal into Fang's hair – but most of it was because of Fang's eyes. The dark haired woman might have her head in Vanille's lap, but her eyes – those damn eyes that understood exactly who and what Lightning was – never left Lightning. Lightning could feel Fang's gaze on her skin, each look, each glance a lingering caress that sent a shiver through her. Sometimes she dreamed of those eyes, and those dreams always left her dazed and almost feverish with want. She wanted Fang to brand her skin with her lips. She wanted Fang to pin her down and take what was hers – what had been hers almost since the day they'd met.

And all the while, she could feel Vanille watching the two of them, amused and just a little bit awkward. A smile, a smirk, a whisper – how well Vanille knew them both.

But right now, there was no one in the living room, and the stillness and quiet was almost enough to make her scream. She flicked the lights on, and her gaze drifted to the note on the coffee table. It was written in Vanille's playful yet precise hand, the edge tucked away beneath the corner of a half-full box of cereal:

"Went out with Serah. Enjoy yourselves."

And below that were Vanille's signature and a small smiley face. Her lips twitched. How like Vanille to do that. But what did the red head mean by 'yourselves'? Wait, the note hadn't mentioned Fang, which meant that Fang was still there. So… where was she?

"Fang," Lightning shouted. "Fang."

Nothing.

The other woman must be asleep. Lightning sighed, turned off the lights, and then headed up the stairs. Her boots thudded down on the stairs, and she felt a wave of tiredness sweep through her. Another long shift, another pile of paperwork. And nothing to do with all the money she earned – and it was a lot of money. The Guardian Corps paid very well to keep one of the legendary l'Cie on the books.

Sometimes she wondered why she was still working so hard. In the past, she'd have spent her money on Serah. But now there was only her. Vanille and Fang had their own jobs, and as much as it pained her to admit, Snow could look after her sister. He was a good man – one of the best she'd ever known – even if he could get on her nerves. So her money piled up, and piled up, and piled up. Maybe once Serah had children – and wasn't that a disconcerting thought, her baby sister having kids – she could spend it all on them. But that was still a long way off.

Upstairs, she plodded into her room and shrugged off her clothes. As tired as she was, there was a certain comfort to the routine as she carefully removed each piece of clothing and put it in the proper place. Her shower was hot, and the heat of it was almost enough to lull her into sleep. She pressed her head against the warm tiles, the water sluicing down her body, and tried not to think of Fang. If she did, her hands might wander and…

She hissed and switched the water to cold. But even that couldn't stop her mind from straying. A shudder swept through her. Fang's hands, she'd touched them before, had felt the calluses there from long years of handling weaponry. What would those hands feel like on her? Would Fang be gentle? Would she be rough? Somehow, Lightning suspected she'd be both, each touch accompanied by the press of Fang's full lips against her. But most of all, Lightning wanted to know what it would be like to let Fang just have her, to have all that strength, speed, and power directed at her, not to hurt, but to pleasure. A hoarse groan left her lips. She needed to stop right there. Any more and –

And what?

She still wasn't sure.

But all she'd have to do was give the word, and she'd find out. She knew what the look in Fang's eyes meant. She knew what Fang wanted but refused to take. So why hadn't she said anything? Fear. It hurt to admit, but that was the answer. If something happened, if something went wrong, she'd lose Fang, and most likely Vanille too, because there was no way that the red head would be able to steer clear of the fall out.

She left the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body, and she was almost to the bed before she noticed that someone else was there. Fang stood in the door of her bedroom, and with a slow, deliberate motion, the dark haired woman pushed it shut behind her. The turning of the lock was as loud as thunder.

Lightning's pulse quickened. She wasn't sure if she should fight or run since the look in Fang's eyes was absolutely predator. Maybe she wanted to be caught. That might explain why she just stood and watched as Fang strode over, put one hand on her shoulder, and pushed

Lightning sprawled back onto the bed, and her hands went back to stop her fall. The harsh breath that Fang let out told her everything. She was exposed, her chest thrust forward by the position of her arms, and her legs slightly parted. Fang's eyes narrowed and then she stepped forward, pressing Lightning down onto the bed.

This was madness… pure and utter madness… and for a moment Lightning resisted. Then Fang's lips covered hers, and the world melted away in a haze of heat and desire so potent it sapped every bit of strength from her body. She was burning. Maker, she was burning, and Fang was the fire surging through her veins.

When Fang finally pulled away, she had one knee planted firmly between Lightning's thighs, and the pink haired woman's hands were pinned above her head. At some point, the towel had come loose. With her free hand, Fang stroked Lightning's cheek. Lightning had seen what Fang's hands could do, but there such tenderness in that touch, such gentleness that she couldn't help but press back against it. Still, the expression on Fang's face was almost violent, a curious mix of desire and agony.

"Why do we keep doing this, Lightning? Why do we pretend that this – right here – isn't what both of us want?" Fang's voice was a soft, velvet whisper against Lightning's senses. But Fang's eyes… they were so sad.

Lightning dragged in a deep breath. She could feel Fang's knee pressed against the warmth between her legs. Etro, all they'd done was kiss, and already she was so, so ready. Her stomach clenched, heavy with desire. "Because this is a mistake."

"A mistake?"

Fang gave a short, sharp bark of laughter. It grated on Lightning's nerves. Above her, Fang's eyes narrowed, became little more than slits, and the hand that had been on her cheek drifted lower, running gently over her collarbone before drifting down to wander first across one breast and then her toned stomach.

"Does this feel like a mistake?" Fang's words came out as something close to a groan. The hand ventured lower. "Does this feel like it's wrong?"

Lightning quivered. It would be so easy to throw Fang off. Fang's grip on her wrists had loosened. All she had to do was drive one leg up and then yank her arms free. Fang would lose her grip and tumble right off the bed. But she couldn't find the desire to do that, never mind the strength. Everywhere Fang touched her, she felt strange, her muscles loosening and tightening as though they weren't sure what to do. Surrender or fight? In the end, she just let Fang touch her, let Fang roam with eyes and hands over every inch of her.

And Fang was so gentle, like she couldn't quite believe what was happening and wanted to draw it out, to make it last in case it was only a dream.

"You're my best friend," Lightning whispered. "Doing this will change everything."

"Yes, it will." Fang leaned forward, her knee pressing more firmly against Lightning, her hand touching more firmly too, and her lips whispering a prayer against Lightning's throat, her cheeks, her lips. "But is that so bad?"

"I…"

Fang pressed her down into the bed. Somewhere, in the part of her mind that was still trying to make sense of everything, Lightning realised her hands were free. She could shove Fang back. She could –

"Do you love me?" Fang eased back, more vulnerable than Lightning had ever seen her.

In that instant, Lightning knew she could break Fang. Just a word, and the warrior's heart would shatter. What the fal'Cie couldn't do, what a war couldn't do, what nothing had ever been able to do – Lightning could do with one simple word. She had never felt so powerful in her life. Yet seeing the affection – the love – in Fang's eyes, she knew what answer she would give. And she had never felt so humbled.

"Yes."

Fang pressed a kiss to Lightning's cheek, and Lightning realised that somehow, a single, solitary tear had trickled from her eyes.

"Then let me have you." Fang smiled shakily. It was a prayer, and Lightning was her goddess as she tried to show with each touch, each caress, each kiss how much Lightning meant to her. "Just let it happen."

So Lightning did.

Again.

And again.

And again.

X X X

Lightning woke slowly. It was Saturday, one of the few times in the week when she could indulge herself. Vanille would be downstairs making pancakes – it was the red head's way of saying thank you for all the things Lightning did for her during the week – and halfway through the first pancake, Fang would pad into the dining room looking sleepy but utterly delectable.

Only something was different. She was in her room, but she wasn't alone. For a split-second, she wondered if she'd done something stupid. Had she finally gotten drunk enough to take a stranger home? No. She only ever drank at Lebreau's bar, and neither Fang nor Lebreau would ever let her go home with a stranger.

Then she remembered the previous night. Her cheeks flamed. Fang had… had accosted her. And she'd let her. More than that, she'd encouraged her – quite vocally, in fact, and on multiple occasions. She gulped.

"Hey."

She rolled over in Fang's embrace and found herself looking into a pair of emerald eyes. There was vulnerability there, that same look that told Lightning she could, with a word, ruin everything.

"Morning." Fang smiled faintly. "Uh…"

Lightning put one finger on Fang's lips, and then she moved that finger aside and kissed her. "Morning."

Fang's smile widened, but was still a little shaky. "About last night. If… if you… I mean…"

"I'm glad," Lightning said quietly. How strange. She'd only been in Fang's arms for a night, and already she never wanted to leave them. A wry smile tugged at her lips. "Finally, one of us was stupid enough to make a move. It's a good thing that sometimes stupid works."

Fang stared, and then she began to laugh. It did very nice things to her chest. Slowly, she calmed. "It worked for Snow, didn't it? I figured it might work for me too."

Lightning rolled her eyes. Fang was naked, but strangely, that didn't bother her. Instead, she had to fight the urge to press herself against the other woman. A few seconds later, she stopped fighting it. Fang's chest made for a very comfortable pillow. "This isn't a one time thing, Fang, so I expect you to see it through. Nothing less than the best will do, and neither of us gets to quit."

"I've never quite a thing in my life." Fang chuckled and ran one fhand through Lightning's hair. "I don't plan on starting now." Then her stomach gave an angry growl.

Lightning laughed. "Let's go make some breakfast." She stood, utterly aware of Fang's eyes on her, and relishing the feel of it. Maybe Serah had been right. She really did have a lot of pent up aggression, well, not exactly aggression…

She was about to throw on a robe – it was her house, but she wasn't about to go around naked – when she heard the front door slam open. A few seconds later, there were some footsteps, or rather a pair of footsteps.

"Hey, Fang, I'm sorry about last night. I tried to call you, but you didn't answer." It was Vanille, and her voice carried easily through the house. "Serah and I kind of hit the town last night, and well… it was a bit late when we were done, I just crashed over at her place." She laughed. "And wouldn't you know it, Snow makes the best omelettes."

A giggle. Serah. "What she means, Fang, is that she didn't want you to see her drunk."

"Hey! I'm not a kid. Besides, I can hold my liquor better than a certain someone." Vanille huffed.

Lightning looked at Fang. "What do we do?"

"No idea." Fang's eyes darted around the room frantically. Damn it, even if they threw on some clothes, anyone with eyes and a nose could tell what they'd been up to. Maybe she could have a shower and then sneak out the window.

"Hmmm…" Vanille sounded worried. "Fang's not in her room."

"That's all right." Serah padded back down the hallway toward Lightning's bedroom. "We can just ask Lightning."

Knock. Knock.

Lightning twitched. "Fang, fix it!"

"How?"

"I don't know… just… think of something. You're the one who's supposed to be good at improvising."

Fang winced. "I think I used up most of my creativity last night." She ignored the glare Lightning sent her and then grinned. "Would it really be so bad if they found out about us?"

Fang's tone was light, but her eyes were serious. Lightning swallowed thickly. "No," she said softly. "I don't think it would."

Fang smiled. "That's my girl." She grinned impishly and raised her voice. "Come back later, we're busy!"

There was a pair of shocked gasps, and then a great deal of giggling.

"Congratulations," Serah shouted through the door. "It took you two long enough."

"Yeah," Vanille added. "And thanks."

"Thanks?" Lightning murmured as a horrible, horrible thought occurred to her. "Vanille, why are you thanking me?"

"Oh, no reason." Vanille sounded very nervous. "Come on, Serah, let's go."

A moment later, the front door slammed shut.

"Fang, is there a betting pool going on about us?" Lightning asked. "And did Vanille just win it?"

Fang smirked. "Maybe, but you can't really argue with results, can you?"

Lightning's lips twitched. No, she couldn't. "I suppose."

"Good, now come back to bed." Fang leaned back into the pillows. "We have the house to ourselves and a whole weekend ahead of us."

Lightning felt what had to be the most idiotic grin slip across her face. "Yes… yes we do. But you're wrong about one thing. We've got a lot more than a weekend ahead of us. We've got a lifetime."

The look on Fang's face was priceless, and Lightning pounced. Last night, she'd let Fang have her way. Now, it was time for some payback of the very best kind.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I own neither Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, this is based on Fangrai February Prompt #55: "Just let it happen." When I saw that prompt, I immediately pictured the exact moment that Fang says that line in this chapter (yes, my mind does make occasional trips to the gutter), and I wrote the rest of the chapter around that. It was also nice to get into more serious territory again after going all over the place in the preceding chapters.

As before, I've cut out the exact details of what they get up to in the bedroom. In this case, I think it works for the story, because the story isn't really so much about Lightning and Fang getting it on as it is about what occurs before that. Love is, in some ways, the purest form of surrender, because when you tell someone you love them, you're basically telling them that they can crush you if they feel like it, and that's something I wanted to get across in this chapter. Fang knows that she's putting herself in a very vulnerably position (even if it is her on top of Lightning), but she trusts Lightning to not hurt her. If that all sounds a bit sappy, I blame my childhood, and the fact that I read anything I could get my hands on, up to and including, romance novels, horror stories, and fairy tales.

While writing this chapter, I also realised that it could actually be interpreted as being at least slightly Neapolitan (if you don't get the reference, just think of ice cream and then of our favourite soldier and her housemates). This wasn't intentional. Rather it's something I only noticed afterward. That said, the first section isn't one I want to change. How Lightning relates to Vanille (the very fact that she can relate to Vanille) is important, because not only is Vanille very important to Fang, she's there to help Lightning manage her separation from Serah better. Lightning isn't someone who'll come out of her shell on her own – someone needs to go in there and drag her out, and while she might be willing to punch Fang in the head, she's not going to do that to Vanille. Anyway, this is a FLight story, and the last section makes that pretty clear.

As an aside, as someone who occasionally suffers insomnia… cereal tastes a lot better at night.

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com. I've got a post up talking about what it means to have a broad range as a writer and why that might be a good thing to have. You should also check out Fangrai February at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and feedback are welcome.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Department of Special Affairs**

Fang strolled into the conference room and slouched into the chair across the table from the captain. It was tempting to put her feet up, but she'd learned the hard way that there were some things Amodar wouldn't put up with, even from her.

"So, captain, got another case for me?"

To his credit, Amodar didn't seem the least bit bothered by Fang's apparent lack of respect. He'd known Fang for a while now, and she was a little rough around the edges. He'd first run into her when she was just another punk kid for the bad end of town. A few years and a more than few arrests later, she and her sister were out on the street, kicked out of the orphanage they'd grown up in. Those had been bad times, and Fang didn't like to talk about them, but eventually they'd run into each other again, and Amodar had managed to sneak her into the academy.

Fang had cussed him out for the better part of two years for that, but in the end, she'd graduated top of her class. After all, the Department of Special Affairs wasn't interested in tact and decorum. The only thing the department was looking for was people who could get the job done, and that was exactly the sort of thing Fang excelled at. Whatever needed doing, no matter how hard it was, Fang got it done, and quickly too.

"You could say that." Amodar pushed a folder across the table. "The police handed this one over to us earlier today."

"And I'm only getting this now?" It was seven o'clock in the evening, a few minutes shy of sunset. She tugged the folder over and grinned. "This better not be another ghost hunt, Amodar. You know how much I hate those. Sure, you might run into something interesting every now and then, but most of the time it's just a little wall banging and cutlery rattling. You'd be better off sending in one of those civilians exorcists that advertise in the papers."

Amodar chuckled. In theory the department was supposed to handle all instances of supernatural crime, but in practice, they turned a blind eye to civilian operators provided they stuck to the easy stuff. "Read the file. You might even find it interesting."

"Oh?" Fang glanced down at the folder and flipped it open. "If you think it's interesting, then I know it's going to be good. Let's take a look."

With practiced ease, she scanned through all of the relevant details of the file. Standard operating procedure dictated that the police serve as first responders for any and all crime. Once a crime had been confirmed as involving the supernatural, the department brought her in and she got to do her thing.

In this case, three victims had been identified, all young men between the ages of seventeen and twenty-four. All lived in the crime-riddled downtown area – the same area she and Vanille had come from. The fact that all three were dead didn't mean much, not when the downtown area was almost always involved in some kind of gang war. What did matter was how they had been killed.

The photographs told the story, or at least, part of it. All three of the young men were nothing more than withered, dried out husks, like the mummies in a museum. Their faces were also drawn into the same mask of absolute terror. According to the file, all three had died in the last week.

"Interesting enough for you?" Amodar asked.

Fang tapped one finger on the folder. Already, her mind was putting together all the details, trying to find something that fit. "At first glance, it looks like something a wraith would do." She flipped to the photographs. "When a wraith kills, it's pretty common for the victim to look absolutely terrified. But I've never seen a wraith shrivel someone up like this, and there's no sign of frostbite or extreme cold." She frowned. "And I know we've had vampire trouble lately, but this is definitely not a vampire." She pursed her lips. "What do you think?"

"I suspect it's a demon." Amodar sighed. "But that's not much help, not when there are so many different kinds of demons."

"That's the truth, all right." Fang reached into her jacket pocket. Oh wait, she'd quit smoking, or rather, Vanille had decided that she should quit smoking. And like she always did – even if she'd never admit it – Fang had folded like a paper bag. It was probably for the best. Smoking wasn't the healthiest habit, although people in her line of work didn't tend to last long enough for smoking to matter. Hell, Amodar was one of the oldest men in the department. "So, do we know what kind of demon it is?"

"No, which is why I've asked the Church of Etro to send one of their experts."

Fang made a disgusted sound. The Church of Etro… they might have centuries of history and tradition behind them, and they might know more about demons than anyone else, but they were the absolute last people Fang would have gone to for help. She could still remember the look on the matron's face when she'd had to throw her and Vanille out of the orphanage. The old woman hadn't wanted to, but the Church hadn't given her a choice. The matron could either get rid of the troublemakers or lose funding for the orphanage. Fang had loved the old woman too much to make her choose, so she'd gone and taken Vanille with her, and somehow they'd survived.

"Fang," Amodar said softly. "I can ask someone else to handle this case."

Fang shook her head. She already owed Amodar enough for all he'd done for her. She didn't need to owe him yet another favour they both knew he'd never cash in. "I can handle it." Her lips curled. "Or you could just let me sort things out my way. It worked last time, didn't it?"

He laughed. "Really? Is that how you'd describe it?"

"Well, yeah." Fang shrugged. "I killed the demon, didn't I?"

Amodar grinned. "Yes, you did. You also levelled two square blocks of property along the waterfront."

"It was a big demon." Fang ignored the flabbergasted look on Amodar's face and pressed on. "And it wasn't like they'd finished building those apartment blocks yet. And with that demon around, they were never going to get anyone to move in. The way I see it, I did them a favour. Besides, they had insurance to cover all the damage."

Amodar bit back a smile. Fang's case report had made for entertaining reading right up until the point the mayor had marched into his office with murder in his eyes. "I never did get the chance to ask you: where on earth did you get an RPG from?"

"The rocket propelled grenade?" Fang smirked. "I always keep one in the trunk for those close encounters of the demonic kind."

"I see." Amodar made a mental note to have Fang's trunk searched. "In any case, the mayor doesn't want a repeat of that, and I assured him that this time, things will go more smoothly. Hopefully, with the assistance of the Church, we'll have a better idea of what we're up against and reduce the amount of property damage."

"So, who are they sending?" Fang rolled her eyes. "Please tell me it's not another old biddy."

Amodar smiled. "Not exactly." He raised his voice and glanced out the door of the conference room. "Sister Claire, if you could come in now that would be great."

"Sister Claire?" Fang rolled her eyes. She could already imagine her: old, hunched over, and just waiting to lecture Fang on all of her many moral and spiritual failures.

She was half-right.

The woman who walked in through the doors of the conference room to sit beside Amodar wore exactly the kind of severe expression that Fang expected of someone ready and willing to lecture on moral and spiritual failings at the drop of hat. But she couldn't have been a day over twenty-three.

She wasn't dressed like the nuns Fang was used to either. The wimple on her head was the same black and white concoction the Church stipulated, but instead of the usual habit, she wore form-fitting black trousers, a white, long-sleeved shirt and a black jacket modified to vaguely resembled the upper half of the usual nun's habit. Oh, and she had a gun holstered at her right hip and… a sword, of all things, on her left hip.

Well aware of the fact that the nun was watching her – and not the least bit bothered by it – Fang continued her perusal. If the gun and sword weren't clue enough, the modified uniform made things clear – this Sister Claire was someone trained for combat. And from the slender, toned body beneath the clothes, and the smooth, precise way she moved, she was probably very good at it.

"Are you quite finished staring?"

Fang lifted her gaze and grinned. The nun had the bluest eyes she'd ever seen along with full, firm lips. She had strong features too, strong but feminine, and there was definitely a proud sort of look about her as she glared down her nose – and it was quite nice nose – at Fang. Well, she could glare all she wanted, Fang wasn't about to stop staring until she was good and ready to. It was just a shame the wimple hid Sister Claire's hair.

"Why, does it bother you?" Fang replied flippantly. "And seriously, a sword? What do you think this is, the Middle Ages?"

Colour filled the other woman's cheeks, and Fang wondered if perhaps there was a special place in Hell just for her, since it had to be some kind of sin to think a nun looked sexy when she was angry. That and the ogling – that was probably a sin too.

"I beg your pardon." Sister Claire's eyes narrowed, and Fang winced. Maker, the woman could glare. "Could you repeat that? I believe I misheard you."

Fang grinned. So she wanted to play things that way. "I believe I said something about your sword and how useless it is since we have guns now. You know, like the one you're carrying on your right hip except bigger." She put her revolver on the table. "You know, something like this."

"Useless?" Sister Claire scowled. "You think my sword is useless?"

Amodar raised his hands to call for calm. "Look, if we could just –"

There was a metallic hiss, and Fang's eyes widened as she took in the tip of the sword only a hair's breadth from her face. Maybe she'd been wrong about the useless part. She hadn't even seen Sister Claire move. And then, just as quickly, the sword was gone, back in its scabbard, and Sister Claire was back in her seat like nothing had happened. But there was a smirk on her face, one that Fang really, really wanted to get rid of. Amodar must have seen the look in her eyes, because he was up on his feet in an instant.

"That's enough," Amodar said. "You two can kill each other in your own time, but first, let's try and focus. We have a demon to hunt."

Sister Claire gave Fang another small smirk and then reached into her pockets for a data recorder to plug into the display unit on the table. An image sprang up on the wall at the far end of the room. It showed a big, inky ball of darkness punctuated by two red eyes.

"After reviewing the case file, I believe that this is what we are up against." Sister Claire stood with perfect posture, and Fang made a conscious effort to slouch even more in her chair. The nun's eyes narrowed, but she continued with her presentation. "Its name is not important, but suffice it to say, the Church has encountered several demons of this kind before, and we have learned to recognise their handiwork. In the past, demons of this kind have preyed primarily on the dregs of society. They gain strength by consuming the souls of their victims, and by targeting the… undesirables, they can go quite some time before being noticed."

Fang frowned. "Those undesirables are people too, sister, even if they are the dregs of society. I used to be one of them."

The blue-eyed woman smiled serenely. "Used to be?" Fang shot to her feet, but once again, that damn sword stopped her in her tracks. "Sit down, Officer Yun." Sister Claire smiled. "Yes, I know who you are. And yes, I have read your file. Sit down."

Fang sat. Sooner or later, she'd get the jump on the other woman, and once she did, the first thing she was going to do was get rid of that sword. Honestly, what kind of a person used a sword in this day and age? The crazy kind, that's who.

"So how does it kill them?" Fang growled. "And why do they end up all shrivelled?"

Sister Claire pressed a button on the display unit. The next image was clearly taken from an old book. It showed a man suspended in mid air, the black cloud all around him. "The demon kills it victims by devouring their soul. To do this, it requires a large degree of physical contact. The more victims it takes, the stronger it becomes, and the more solid its form. Given that this particular demon has only killed three people, it should still be relatively vulnerable to bright light. That is, I assume, another reason it has confined its predations to the less… reputable parts of town."

"Vulnerable to light, huh?" The thought of working with Sister Claire still didn't sit well with Fang, but the chance to use a few of her old favourites was definitely welcome. "We can use flash bangs. I've got a dozen in the trunk."

Amodar made a disgusted sound. "Really? Is there anything else I should know about?"

"No." It was probably better if he didn't know about the sniper rifle she had hidden behind the back seat, or the shotgun she kept in a special compartment built into the driver's side door. Demon hunting was dangerous business, and it was usually better to have too many guns than too few. "That's about it."

"How do you plan to find the demon, Sister Claire?" Amodar asked. "The police patrol the area regularly due to the high incidence of normal crime, and none of them have seen a thing."

"I can sense it," Sister Claire replied. "If Officer Yun would be so kind as to drive me through the area, I should be able to locate it."

"Wonderful." Her and Sister Claire in a car for the whole night, could things get any worse? Fang grinned. "I don't suppose Etro herself came down from heaven and gave you that ability, did she?"

"She did." Sister Claire's voice was perfectly flat. "And I have spent most of my life training to use it properly. Now, if there are no more questions, perhaps we could get moving. With each death, the demon will only grow stronger."

"Yay," Fang mumbled as she followed Sister Claire out of the conference room. "We can be car buddies."

Sister Claire's hand went to the sword at her side, and Fang immediately ducked, expecting another attack. However, the nun merely smiled gently. "Well, it seems you can learn."

Behind them, Amodar shook his head. Somehow, he got the feeling that things were not going to work out as he had hoped. Oh well, might as well get started on the paperwork early.

"Can someone get me the mayor's schedule for tomorrow?" Amodar shouted. "I think I'm gong to need it."

X X X

The car ride was definitely not Fang's idea of a good time. Make no mistake, she loved her car, loved the feel of it when she pushed it and herself to the limit, but Sister Claire was the very opposite of good company. The nun sat still and silent in the passenger seat, her eyes roving constantly over their surroundings, her mouth firmed into a thin line. Any question that Fang asked was either ignored or answered with as little room left for conversation as possible. Hell, she'd fought demons that were chattier.

On the upside, all the driving around did give Fang the chance to look at Sister Claire a bit more. Sure, the nun had the personality of an angry hedgehog, but she was very nice to look at. Even her profile was striking, and Fang couldn't help but wonder if maybe the nun shouldn't find another line of work. After all, killing demons didn't pay nearly as well as it should, even if it was a lot of fun. At some point, a lock of Sister Claire's hair slipped free of her wimple, and Fang felt her lips twitch up into a smile. Pink. The scary, sword-wielding nun had pink hair. That was just too good. She wanted to say something, but the look in Sister Claire's eyes promised a swift, horrible death, and in the close confines of the car, Fang wasn't confident she could dodge the nun's sword.

"It is a sin to ogle those dedicated to Etro's work." Sister Claire kept her gaze fixed outside the car. "And your thoughts are so sinful that I feel sullied merely sitting here."

"Oh?" Fang grinned. "And what would you know about sinful thoughts, have you been having any about me?" She was pleased to see the other woman's cheeks redden. It was surprisingly fun teasing her, although getting stabbed would probably put a dampener on that. "Besides, doesn't Etro teach forgiveness and all that… you don't really seem the forgiving type."

"I am more than willing to forgive those who genuinely regret their actions." Sister Claire's scowl deepened. "You, officer, regret nothing."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." Sister Claire's eyes narrowed. "As I have told you, I have read your file. Theft, assault, drunkenness, debauchery – your list of sins is long and, dare I say it, almost impressive. Were it not for all the work you have done providing for your sister, I would conclude that you are a lost cause."

"A lost cause?" Now, this was interesting. "Is that why you're so angry? You think you can save me or something? Well, I've got news for you sister, I don't need saving. I've been doing fine on my own, and I'll keep doing fine on my own." Fang chuckled. "Besides, you should be happy. I'm killing demons now, that's Etro's work, isn't it?"

"In a way." Sister Claire folded her hands in her lap. "You might think the Church has forgotten you, Officer Yun, but there are those who still remember. An old woman who runs an orphanage, perhaps, one whom you have not visited for some time."

Fang stiffened. "That's none of your business."

"Perhaps it is not." Sister Claire looked back out the window. "But the truth is, you should be more than you are." Her voice hardened. "Ever year, your department and the Church have to deal with more cases, and every year, more of the innocent are caught in the conflict. And still you continue to play solider."

"And what would you like me to do?" Fang replied. "Join the Church?"

"No." Sister Claire turned and pinned Fang with her gaze. "We are fighting a war, Officer Yun, and we are losing, slowly perhaps, but surely. Individuals such as you should not be throwing themselves into battle after battle. You should be training others and leading. Ask yourself, how many demons have you killed? Now imagine the difference it would make if there were five others like you."

Fang's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Amodar set me up, didn't he?" That clever old codger.

"Yes, he did." Sister Claire lips twitched. "The Church and the department are both aware of the state of affairs. Our.., partnership is intended to foster greater cooperation between our two forces, and in time, we would be expected to train others to a similar level of skill."

"So, you're good then?" Fang asked. Sister Claire wasn't so bad when she was talking rather than trying to stab her.

"Very much so."

"Still doesn't explain the sword," Fang muttered. "And you trying to stab me with it."

"I assure you, if I wanted you stabbed, you would be." Sister Claire huffed. "As it is, I thought it best to lay down the rules of this partnership. You keep your eyes and hands to yourself, and I will not have to cut them off."

"Come on," Fang grumbled. "You're a nun. I'm not about to jump you."

"Your file is very detailed," Sister Claire said. "Very detailed. I thought it better to be sure." Her eyes widened. "Wait! Stop here!"

Fang slammed her foot on the brake, and before she could even get her door open, Sister Claire was out of the car and headed toward a dark alley across the road. Fang grabbed her shotgun, a handful of flash bangs, and ran after her. As they reached the alley, there was a wet thump and a corpse tumbled to the ground. In the flickering glow of the streetlight, it was very clear that they'd come to the right place.

"Be careful," Sister Claire murmured. "The demon is nearby."

They edged toward the alley, and Fang had to blink to make sure she wasn't seeing things. There, at the back of the alley, was a roiling mass of shadows. When Sister Claire pulled out a flashlight and shone it upon the demon, the seething black cloud shivered and twisted in upon itself. At the centre of it all was a pair of crimson eyes.

"Prepare yourself," Sister Claire said. She put one hand on the hilt of her sword. "It knows what we are."

"Of course it does." Fang bit back a curse. Why were the demons always so well informed? "And don't worry about me, I've fought enough demons to know what I'm doing."

There was a hiss and the air grew thick and heavy. Malice radiated outward from the demon, and for a split-second Fang's mind was overtaken by images of slaughter and murder. She saw bodies stacked high and set aflame, great mounds built of bleached bone. Her jaw clenched and the images vanished. It was another one of the demon's ploys, an attempt to shake her resolve and drive her off.

"Nice try." Fang pulled the pin on a flash bang. "Let's see how much you like this."

She tossed the flash bang, ignoring what sounded almost like a curse from Sister Claire – but that couldn't be because everyone knew nuns didn't swear – and covered her eyes. The resulting flash was blindingly bright, but when it cleared, the demon didn't look the least bit hurt. If anything, it seemed angry, the malice in the air growing ever more oppressive as the cloud of darkness that was the demon's body grew larger and larger.

"We may have been mistaken," Sister Claire said as the demon's growing form cracked the walls on either side of the alley. "For it to have gotten this large and to have such a tangible form, it must have consumed a great many more than three people."

"So, what does that mean?" Fang lifted her shotgun and fired. She might as well have been throwing popcorn for all the good it did. The blast simply disappeared into the demon's billowing form. Damn it, she'd even had those shells properly blessed too. "Well?"

Sister Claire's reply was lost in the din as every single streetlight in the area exploded. Immediately, the street went dark, and all around them houses, shops, and other buildings began to go dark as well. Somehow, Fang doubted this was a coincidence. With only the faint light of the moon shining down on them, the demon grew larger still, until the buildings on either side of the alley came apart in a shower of crushed brick and broken wood.

"Run!" Sister Claire urged. "Go!"

They turned and ran full-tilt for the car. Fang hurled herself into the driver's seat, and the instant Sister Claire was inside, she slammed one foot on the accelerator. The nun lost her balance, and lurched forward. Her head cannoned into Fang's stomach and the dark haired woman hissed.

"Damn it, are you wearing a helmet under your wimple?" Fang pawed at Sister Claire's shoulders to try and get her off.

"Be still!" Sister Claire growled right before she lifted her head and caught Fang on the chin. "Watch the road!" she barked.

Fang clutched at her chin. "I would, but you're not making it easy." She glanced into the rear view mirror. The demon was racing down the street, less a cloud now, and more a tide of boiling, inky shadow. Everything it touched withered and died, and she sent a silent prayer to every deity she could think of to keep people off the streets.

"You're the expert," Fang shouted. "What's your plan?"

"The demon's heart lies at the core of those shadows," Sister Claire said. "We need to use light to drive the shadows back long enough for one of us to strike at its heart."

"That sounds simple," Fang said. "But it really, it's not." She glanced into the rear view mirror again. "Are you serious?"

"What?"

"Look!" Fang barely managed to keep the car on the road as they rounded a corner at eighty miles an hour. "That damn demon is going to throw a car at us!"

Sister Claire turned. "Oh."

"Yes, oh!"

There was a crash and a car hurtled through the air. It struck the building in front of them, and Fang jerked the steering wheel to the side. They barely managed to avoid it, and Fang bit back a curse as a cloud of rust enveloped the windscreen. The demon had touched the car for only a second or two, and it had already decayed that badly. Unbelievable.

More cars hurtled toward them, the demon gaining as Fang was forced to swerve all over the road to avoid the projectiles. At least it was the middle of the night, so there wasn't much traffic. Finally, one of the cars clipped the back of hers, and they spun, skidding off the road and into a fire hydrant.

The speed of the crash tore the fire hydrant apart, and a stream of water spewed up as the car imbedded itself in a brick wall. Inside it, Fang groaned and shook her head. Her ears rang, and she was seeing double, but she needed to move. Staying still meant getting killed because if that demon got its hands on her, she was dead. Her eyes widened. Sister Claire, where was the nun?

"Open!" Sister Claire growled as she leaned back and kicked her door. There was a trickle of blood down her brow, but she seemed all right. Certainly, she hadn't taken more than a few seconds to slice the airbags apart with her sword. "Open!"

Finally, the door burst open, and Fang followed her out of it. The demon was only a few seconds away now, and it had grown to be as big as a house. In the twilight, it looked almost completely solid, pitch-black limbs appearing from within the mass of undulating shadows.

"Do you have any more flash bangs?" Sister Claire asked.

"I've got more in the trunk." Fang glanced over at her. "Have you got a plan?"

"Yes." Sister Claire nodded. "Distract it, and when I give the signal. Throw all of them."

"Distract it?" Fang's brows furrowed. "What do you…" She trailed off in shock as Sister Claire turned and ran down the street. No way. No freaking way. The nun had just left her to deal with a house-sized demon. A snarl crossed her lips as she glared up at the demon "Oh, that's it. Never mind the property damage, you killed my car, prepare to die!"

She hobbled to the back of her car and popped open the trunk. Damn it, her head hurt, her car was a wreck, and her guns better still be working otherwise, she was in a lot of trouble. Thank the Maker! The flash bangs were still in one piece, and she quickly tucked them into the tattered pockets of her jacket. Even better, her assault rifle was still in working condition too. It was a pity she hadn't had time to get another RPG – that would have been quite handy to have around now.

"Over here," Fang shouted. "Over here, you stupid demon!"

Bullets streaked through the air as Fang opened fire and stumbled away from the remains of her car. The demon turned to follow her, the bullets simply vanishing into the cavernous shadow around it. But Fang wasn't done yet. As the demon stepped into the large pool of water around the car, Fang turned and shot at the power lines. Sparks flew as the bullets tore through the thick electrical cables. One of them tumbled down and landed smack bang in the middle of the puddle.

For a split-second, the demon flinched as electricity raced through the black miasma that was its body. Then, from the top of the building behind her, Fang heard someone shout.

"Now!" Sister Claire bellowed. "Throw the flash bangs now!"

When had the other woman gotten up there? Fang shook her head. Of course, the nun hadn't run away. She must have been looking for a fire escape. But why would she need one… oh. If the demon's heart was in the centre of the black, twisting cloud, then it would be far out of their reach, which meant that she was planning to jump down and hit it. She smiled. How utterly crazy.

"Right!" Fang grabbed the flash bangs, and threw them toward the demon. "Cover your eyes!"

Even with her eyes closed, and her face turned away, Fang was still hard-pressed not to wince as the blinding light burst outward. The demon roared, howling in pain and fear, and Fang heard Sister Claire yell a few words. Then there was a sound like an overripe tomato bursting before a wave of force lifted Fang and threw her through the window of the shop behind her.

When she finally managed to drag herself to her feet, she couldn't help but let out almost hysterical laughter. Amodar had wanted to reduce the property damage. Boy was he in for a nasty surprise. With the demon dead, most of the lights had come on, and their light fell upon a scene that looked straight out of a war zone. The street had been torn up for the better part of a few miles. Cars littered the area, some imbedded in nearby buildings, and others rusting by the side of the street. Where the demon had been, there was now a crater about thirty feet across and ten feet deep. Every single window on the street had been blown out.

As for Sister Claire, the woman's was lying on her back in the middle of a small lake as the fire hydrant continued to pour water everywhere. Her wimple had been badly singed, so now her pink hair floated beside her. Fang groaned and staggered over to her.

"Nice." Fang pretended to look carefully around the street. "I think you missed a few things though."

Sister Claire reached for her sword, which was imbedded point first in the cement a few feet away. "If I was not in so much pain, I would stab you."

Fang reached down and helped the other woman up. "Come on, we need to get to a hospital."

Sister Claire made a face. "Keep your hands to yourself, officer. I can stand on my own." She swayed.

"Really? It doesn't look like it?" Fang eased the two of them down onto a bench that had somehow remained unbroken. Sirens rang out in the distances, but they were getting closer. "So… how much trouble are you in with the Church for all this?"

Sister Claire sagged against the bench. "As much as you shall be in with your superiors."

"Not a bad way to start though." Fang grinned.

"Yes, I suppose we could both be dead." Sister Claire closed her eyes. "Wake me when the ambulance arrives, and I promise that if you even think of touching me inappropriately, I will cut your hands off."

"Oh no, you've got a concussion." Fang jabbed Sister Claire in the arm with one finger. "Stay awake." She grinned. "Say, while we're waiting, why don't you tell me about all that horrible stuff I'm supposed to have done."

Sister Claire straightened. "Yes, that would help pass the time. I will start with your debauchery. According to your file…"

As Sister Claire rattled off a rather long – and scarily accurate – list of Fang's indiscretions, Fang felt a smile creep across her lips. Sure, the nun was bossy, violent, and downright sanctimonious a lot of the time, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun. And if training a team with Sister Claire meant having this much fun all the time, well, maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So, yeah, I can't say exactly where this one came from. It's based on Fangrai February Prompt #78: AU prompt. Fang and Lightning fight the supernatural. I thought to myself, well, if they're going to fight the supernatural then one of them needs to be a priest or something (The Exorcist is one of my favourite movies of all time), and it would be nice if one of them was something a little different, just for a bit of tension. And voila, this is what my mind came up with (for better or for worse). It was also fun to switch a few things around (Fang knowing Amodar, for instance). Besides, it was also a lot of fun to poke at Fang a little. Lightning is a nun (of all things), so yes, there is probably a special place for people who ogle her and think thoughts of a more… sinful nature.

If you have the time check out my blog over at razieltwelve(period)wordpress(period)com. You should also check out at Fangrai February at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com. I can't say that I covered every prompt I wanted to, but seven is more than I expected to get done.

I also want to put out a call to all of the readers of Ordinary Heroes. I need your help! For various reasons, I would like a piece of fanart inspired by Ordinary Heroes. It should be a minimum of 625 pixels on the shortest side and 1000 pixels on the longest side, up to 1563 pixels on the shortest side and 2500 pixels on the longest side. Ideally the short side would be the bottom/top and the long side would be the right/left side. I've been working on a surprise related to Ordinary Heroes, and the image would definitely help. Those of you who recognize those dimensions can probably guess what it is. Message me if you've got something!

Also, if what I've written doesn't make any sense, you have my apologies. I haven't been sleeping well lately, and in between working on my own stuff, I've been writing stuff like this (it's about 5:00 AM in the morning here…).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	8. Chapter 8

**Silly Saturday**

Cuddled up in her mommy's lap, Diana gave a lazy yawn. Watching movies was fun, but it was quite late now even if she didn't want to admit it. "Wouldn't it be cool if the movie came true, mommy?"

Fang laughed and ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. The movie wasn't the most intellectually engaging thing, but it wasn't too bad for a children's film. Of course Averia hadn't been able to stop herself from pointing out all of the mistakes and logical inconsistencies until Diana had thrown a pillow at her. The older girl was a lot like Lightning when it came to that sort of thing.

"Really?" Fang grinned. "You want to switch places and be me for a day?"

Diana yawned again. "It would be fun. I'd get to be tall and go on adventures and do lots of thing I can't do." She wrapped her arms around Fang's middle. Her mommy was so nice to cuddle up to. "And I could stay up as late as I want and eat lots of junk food. I wouldn't even have to go to school."

"You know, being an adult is a lot of hard work." Fang looked over at the other end of the couch, where Lightning and Averia wore almost identical bemused looks.

"I guess." Diana sighed and closed her eyes. Her mommy could always carry her up to bed later. "But it would be even cooler if you and mom could switch places."

"Oh?" Fang glanced down at Diana. "What makes you think that? Wait… you're asleep, aren't you?" She chuckled and stood up with Diana in her arms. The little girl weighed almost nothing at all. "All right, I think I'll take Diana up to bed." She transferred Diana into one arm and waved at Averia with the other. "Come on, I'll carry you up too."

Averia scowled. "I can walk, mommy."

"I thought you'd say that." Fang headed up toward the girls' bedroom, Averia a few steps behind. "And don't forget, it's Saturday tomorrow, so you can sleep in."

X X X

Lightning woke at the crack of dawn. It might have been a Saturday, but years as a soldier had given her a habit of rising early, and it wasn't something she could easily stop. Fang, however, seemed to come with her own inbuilt alarm clock. The other woman could wake early one morning and sleep in the next without any trouble at all. Sometimes, it made Lightning want to kick her out of bed. But because she loved Fang, and because she'd have to put up with an inordinate amount of whining if she actually did kick her out of bed, Lightning simply stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom to wash her face.

Along the way, she tripped over her own feet twice, and it was only good luck that kept her from running face first into the door. Maker, what was wrong with her? She couldn't be hung over – movie nights with the girls were strictly non-alcoholic – and even if she was still a bit foggy from waking up, she'd never been this clumsy. With a yawn, she turned on the sink and washed her face. A shiver ran through at how cold the water was, and then she looked up into the mirror. Hopefully, she wouldn't look too horrible.

It took a split-second for what she was seeing to sink in and then she screamed. Loudly.

Half mad with panic, she washed her face again and looked back into the mirror. The face that greeted her was exactly the same: tanned skin, green eyes and dark hair. Not her face – Fang's. There was a rustle of fabric as someone slid out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She turned and came face to face with… herself.

"What's all this screaming about, sunshine?" Fang drawled in Lightning's voice. "It's too early in the morning to…" She trailed off and her blue eyes widened. "What's going on?"

Lightning pressed herself back against the bathroom sink. This was wrong, totally wrong. "I don't know." She flinched at the sound of her – no Fang's voice – coming from her lips. "I woke up and… and…"

Fang grabbed a lock of her hair. It was pink. Then she said what they were both thinking. "Oh, hell, this can't be good."

Ten minutes of frantic panicking later, the two of them were back in the bedroom. Lightning was perched on the edge of the bed, and Fang had one arm wrapped around her to draw her close. Normally, that would have been more than enough to calm her down, but the fact that it was her arm wrapped around Fang's body only made it worse. It didn't help either that she was suddenly taller than the other woman.

"Could we be dreaming?" Lightning whispered.

Fang smirked and the expression was nothing short of eerie on Lightning's features. "I doubt it. The only time two people can dream the same thing is in crystal stasis, and I'm pretty sure I would have noticed that last night."

"Last night." Lightning's mind drifted back to the previous night. There was something about it, something she hadn't thought about – "Wait! Last night, Diana said that it would be cool if we switched places. Maybe –"

Fang held up one hand. Maker – that was Lightning's hand. "Hold it right there, Lightning. I know she can be mischievous, and I know she's good with pranks, but even with Vanille's help, I doubt she can make people switch bodies. If she could, the first thing she'd do is switch bodies with Bahamut for a day and go knock down a few buildings or something."

Lightning nodded slowly and wrapped her arms around herself. No wonder she'd had such a difficult time moving properly. Not only was Fang taller than her, she had a totally different centre of gravity. She was heavier too. "You're right. Unless Diana is secretly the Maker in disguise, I don't think we can blame this on her." She dragged in a deep breath. "Fang, what are we going to do?"

A frown crossed Fang's lips – now there was an expression Lightning was used to seeing on her own face. "Vanille," Fang said at last. "The only things I can think of that can do this kind of thing are the fal'Cie and the Maker, and no one knows more about the old legends and rituals than Vanille. We can call her, ask her to come over, and then see if there's anything she knows that can help us."

"Really? Vanille?" Lightning ground the words out. "Damn it, I think you're right. If this is the fal'Cie or someone like that, she probably does know more than anyone else." She froze. "But what about the kids? Vanille is with an exploration and survey team. She won't be able to get back until this afternoon, even if we call her now."

"Well manage somehow." Fang grinned and Lightning shivered. Her face was not made for grinning like that. "I mean we do know each other very well. I'm sure we can fool the kids for a few hours. Once Vanille gets here, we can hand the kids over to Serah and Snow while we sort this out."

Lightning swallowed thickly. This was not happening. "All right," she said. Her eyes narrowed, and she scowled as she realised that Fang had, at some point, stopped paying attention to what she was saying. Instead, her gaze was considerably lower than her face. "What are you doing?"

Fang's lips twitched. Seeing Lightning's scowl on what was normally her face was definitely not something she saw everyday. It was weird to say the least. "You know," she murmured, eyeing her body appreciatively. "I really do look awesome." Still smiling, she reached over and gave what would normally have been her – but was currently Lightning's – chest a grope. "I feel awesome too."

Lightning slapped Fang's hand away and made a disgusted sound. "Fang! I cannot believe that you're groping yourself at a time like this."

"Well, you know what they say. Sometimes all you can do is laugh or cry – or grope." Fang shrugged. "I could always ogle you, if you want." She reached down and cupped her – or rather Lightning's breasts – with a sunny smile. Face set into an expression of deep and utterly serious contemplation, she weighed the two soft but firm mounds in her hands. "Yep, you definitely feel as incredible as usual."

Lightning grabbed Fang's wrist. "Stop that! And keep your hands to yourself." Fang waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Lightning threw a punch that went well wide of the mark. Damn it, she needed to practice using this body. "Stop it!"

Fang cackled. Seeing that outraged look, not to mention the blush, on her face almost made this whole disastrous situation worth it. "Why? It's not like I haven't seen them before, and I've definitely touched them before too."

A growl left Lightning's lips. There was no telling what might happen if she strangled Fang. For all she knew, they could end up stuck like this. Besides, they were married and she loved Fang very much, even if the other woman was currently grinning like an idiot. "Fine. Just try not to do it too much. It's weird." Her brows furrowed and she gave her own chest a poke. "Damn it, Serah was right."

"Oh?"

"You really do have bigger breasts than me."

X X X

Over the next hour, Fang and Lightning did their best to get used to their new bodies. Lightning also did her best to fight off Fang's advances. Perhaps it was the other woman's way of coping with a horrible situation, but she absolutely did not want to find out what it would be like 'doing it' while they were in each other's bodies. Okay, maybe she was a little bit curious, but now was not the time. And damn it, did she really look like that when she was flirting? The way Fang could make her blue eyes darken and grow stormy was well… really hot.

As for the call to Vanille, that went about as well as could be expected.

"Bwahahaha." Vanille's laughter carried clearly to Lightning, even though Fang was the one on the phone. "You're serious, aren't you? You really have switched bodies."

Lightning wrestled the phone out of Fang's hands. "Yes. Get back here. Now."

"Wow." Vanille winced. "Okay, I believe you. I've never heard Fang sound like that. Honestly, Lightning, when it's you talking through Fang's body like that, you sound like a serial killer – a really friendly, crazy serial killer."

"Vanille…" Lightning hissed.

"Fine, fine. Things are about done here, so if I leave now I should be back some time after lunch." Vanille paused. "Can I tell Serah?"

"Why?" The absolute last thing Lightning wanted was for her sister to find about this… debacle. Not only would Serah worry a lot, she would probably also find it utterly hilarious once she'd gotten over her initial concern.

"I remember reading about something like this in one of the ancient texts. I think it was in a book I found in some ruins in an expedition a year or two ago. It matches up with a few other legends I've heard too." Vanille's voice was suddenly deadly serious. "If I'm right, we're going to need a close blood relative to perform the ritual to reverse the switch, and unless you want Averia or Diana to do it then Serah is your best bet."

"Fine." Lightning massaged her temples and tried to ignore the speculative look Fang threw her. "Just… no one else. Not even Hope." For all of his professionalism, Hope could be every bit as bad a gossip as Vanille.

"Fine, fine." Vanille giggled. "I'll see you later. Try not to do anything foolish, so don't listen to anything Fang says."

"Brat," Fang muttered as Vanille hung up. "But that's good, right? It sounds like she has some idea of what to do to fix this."

"Maybe too good of an idea," Lightning whispered. Footsteps rustled down the corridor outside their door. Interesting, Fang's senses were even keener than hers. "I think the kids are up."

"Then let's hope we're ready." Fang stood and went to the door. "Remember, you're me and I'm you. We can't get our names mixed up."

Lightning frowned. "I know that."

While the kids were watching Saturday morning cartoons, they were safe. But things soon took a downward turn.

"Mommy," Averia asked from her position by the kitchen door. "Why are you making breakfast while mom is with us in the living room?"

Lightning twitched. "Uh…"

"Normally, mom makes breakfast and you play with me and Diana." Averia's eyes narrowed. "Are you in trouble again?"

Lightning bit back a grimace. It was nice to have such an observant daughter, but she wished the girl could have picked a better time to show it. At least, she'd been given an excuse to work with. "Yes, I made your mom mad yesterday, so I have to make breakfast."

"Oh." Averia nodded. "That makes senses." She turned and was about to walk away when she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Be careful, mommy. If you set the kitchen on fire again, you'll be in trouble for ages."

Was she really that much of a tyrant? Probably. "Don't worry, I'll be careful."

Breakfast didn't go much better either. The first thing that Lightning did was to sit in her usual place at the table, which drew puzzled looks from both of her children. Keen to pass it off as a joke, she put what she hoped was a grin on her face and traded places from Fang. From the frown on Averia's face and the look of horror on Diana's, it was clear the pretence was wearing thin – or that she really wasn't good at grinning.

Somehow, they made it through breakfast, and at the end of the meal, Averia practically leapt out of her chair.

"Come on, mom!" she cried, grabbing Fang's hand. "Let's go!"

Fang gave Lightning a pleading look. What was she supposed to be going off to? After a few moments of wracking her brains, Lightning remembered. "That's right, Lightning," she said with a very pointed look at Fang followed by a kick in the shins. "You were going to do some weapons practice in the backyard with Averia, weren't you? Don't forget, you left your wooden practice sword in the garage."

A fragile smile in place, Fang rubbed her shin. "Thank you, Fang. I will go and… get my practice sword."

Averia looked at Lightning as Fang went to fetch her practice sword. "Is something wrong with mom? She's acting weird."

"No, she's fine."

With Fang and Averia in the backyard, Lightning almost felt safe. And then she felt a gentle tug on her arm.

"Come on, mommy!" Diana beamed at her. "Remember? You bought me the new Gary the Gorgonopsid video yesterday, and you said we'd watch it together!"

Lightning tried her best to smile, she really did, but inside she was already planning fifteen different ways to murder Fang. Where was the fairness? It wasn't bad enough that they were stuck in each other's bodies, but now Fang got to go outside and handle weaponry while she was stuck inside with Gary. Damn that gorgonopsid.

"Sure, kiddo." Lightning nodded. "Let's go watch."

The first five minutes passed easily enough. Even Lightning had to admit that the Gary the Gorgonopsid theme song was very catchy, and Diana was so cute singing along with it, especially since she was a bit tone deaf. Funnily enough, Averia probably had the best singing voice in the family, but it was almost impossible to get her to sing in public.

However, after another ten minutes of Gary and his loveable and brightly coloured friends proclaiming the magic of friendship and the need for cooperation between all animals (carnivorous and herbivorous alike), she was ready to strangle someone. Unbeknownst to her, a vicious, very Lightning-like scowl had spread across her features.

"I'm sorry."

Lightning looked down and blinked. Diana's face was scrunched up and there were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Her eyes narrowed. Who had made her little girl sad? She was going to make them pay.

Diana threw herself at Lightning. "Please don't be mad, mommy! I'm sorry I made you watch Gary! We can watch something else."

Utterly confused, Lightning wrapped her arms around Diana and gently rubbed circles on the little girl's back to calm her. "I'm not mad, Diana." But that only increased Diana's wailing.

"You're not?" Diana sniffled miserably and looked up at Lightning with watery eyes. "But… but you were scowling really hard at the television and… and…"

Lightning frowned and Diana quivered in her arms. "I scowl all the time."

"No, you don't!" Diana shook her head vehemently from side to side. "Mom always scowls, so I know she's not mad just because of that. But you never scowl, mommy, not unless you're really mad. Never ever!"

Lightning winced. Damn it. She'd forgotten she was in Fang's body. With a gentle smile, she patted Diana on the head. "It's okay. I wasn't scowling at you or Gary."

"Really?" Diana's lower lip trembled.

Lightning nodded. "Yes, really. I… well… I might have to go on another expedition soon, but I want to spend more time here, so that's why I was scowling."

"Oh, okay." Diana smile was bright enough to strip paint off the side of a house. "Let's watch more Gary then."

Oh the things Lightning endured for her family, the horrible, horrible things.

Outside, Averia was having a similar experience. Practicing with her mom was always something she looked forward to. Wooden practice weapons weren't the same as the real thing, but she relished every chance she got to use her wooden spear against someone who knew how to fight properly. What she wasn't prepared for, however, was the look on her mom's face. Never before had she looked so scary.

"Mom… can you not do that." Averia shuddered and lowered her spear. "It's creepy."

"What?" Fang lowered her sword. It was a good thing she knew how to use a sword. She wasn't as good as Lightning was – and the other woman had a long way to go before being as good as Fang with a spear – but she was still quite skilled in her own right.

Averia jabbed one finger at her. "Smirking and grinning." She shivered. "It's freaky… it makes you look like you're planning something evil."

Fang sighed. Of course the girls wouldn't be used to their mom, Lightning – also known as Colonel Never Smiles and Colonel Gloomy – smiling and smirking and generally grinning at everything the way Fang often did. "Come on, it's not that bad."

"It is." Averia held her spear up like some kind of talisman against evil. "It looks like you're about to murder me."

A lazy grin crossed Fang's lips, and she winced as Averia very visibly flinched. All right, maybe it was that bad. Time to be more like Lightning then. Setting her face into a faint frown, she looked back at her daughter. "How about now?"

Averia let out a sigh of relief. "That's much better. Let's keep going."

X X X

Lunchtime came and went, and after another very awkward meal, the doorbell rang. In the blink of an eye, Lightning was out of her chair to answer it. If she had to watch any more Gary, she was going to kill someone – either the show's producers or herself. At the door were Vanille and Serah, and the red head had a boxful of books and relics in her arms.

"Thank the Maker," Lightning breathed. She scowled. "What is all that?"

Beside Vanille, Serah raised one hand to her mouth. "It really is true… wow." She raised her voice. "Girls, your Uncle Snow is taking Claire out to watch a movie. Do you want to go?"

"Yes!" Averia and Diana cried.

"Good, then get changed and head next door once you're done." Serah looked back at Lightning. "I can't believe it's really true. Amazing."

"More like terrible." Lightning wrapped her arms around her sister. Suddenly, she was inordinately glad that the other woman was there. "What did you tell Snow?"

"I said that you and Fang wanted the afternoon to yourselves." Serah laughed. "He said you could pay us back next week."

"I didn't need to know that." Lightning sagged against her sister. Serah felt even shorter than usual now that she was in Fang's body. "But thanks."

Changed into some fresh clothes and ready to go, Diana and Averia ran past and went straight to Serah and Snow's house next door.

"You'd better stop hugging Aunt Serah like that, mommy," Averia warned as she darted through the door. "Or mom is going to get mad at you again."

Serah and Vanille had the decency to hold their laughter in until the girls were safely out of earshot. Once they'd recovered, Vanille quickly led Lightning back into the living room.

"All right," Vanille said as she turned to face both Fang and Lightning with grim determination. "Tell me everything, and don't leave anything out."

Lightning and Fang recounted everything, and Lightning felt her gut clench as Vanille's expression grew darker and darker.

"I see." The read head stroked her chin. "It's exactly as I feared." She shook her head. "Almost one thousand years ago, this exact same thing happened in Oerba."

"What?" Fang squawked. "I've never heard of that."

"You wouldn't have." Vanille crossed her arms over her chest. "While you were off fighting, I was busy scouring the library. Based on what I remember and some of the things we've found more recently, there may be a way to fix this. However, you'll need to do exactly as I say." She pointed at the box full of relics and pulled out a piece of paper. "You need to set those up in the backyard and I'll need everything on this list."

Twenty minutes later, and the backyard had been transformed into a miniature outdoor shrine. Relics of various fal'Cie and other things that Lightning couldn't recognise were scattered in a broad circle in the middle of the backyard. Vanille had surrounded that circle with another large circle of salt, and an even larger circle of sugar.

"All right," Vanille said, licking the last of the sugar off her fingers. "Remember my instructions?" Both Fang and Lightning nodded, and Vanille tossed a jar of peanut butter at them. "Start smearing this into your hair."

"Are you serious?" Lightning asked, and for once, Fang looked like she agreed.

"Damn it, there's no time to ask questions!" Vanille yelled. She banged one fist down on her open palm. "Fang can tell you all about how petty the fal'Cie were when it came to tribute. Now, hurry up and get started. According to the information I've gathered, we can't wait too long or the switch will become permanent." Neither Lightning nor Fang moved. "Well? Get going!"

The peanut butter went on first, followed by some mayonnaise smeared onto their faces as some kind of war paint. Then came the necklaces of garlic and the hats made of cabbage. Part of Lightning was certain that this was all some horrible prank, but she wasn't prepared to risk it.

"If Vanille is lying about this," Lightning muttered. "I'm going to kill her."

Fang started wiping some jam onto her arms – apparently the fal'Cie demanded strawberry jam be lathered onto their bodies as tribute – and then nodded. "You know, I love her, but tell you what, if this is all another one of her pranks, then I can hold her down while you punch."

After a few more coats of various condiments, they were done.

"Okay." Vanille handed Serah a piece of paper. "We'll need two people to recite the ritual. I'll recite it for Fang and you can recite it for Lightning." She dragged in a deep breath. "Now pay close attention and try to keep up."

Vanille then proceeded to spout absolute gibberish.

"Vanille –" Fang started.

"Silence!" Vanille waved her hands about. "And close your eyes! We can't afford to mess this up!" She jerked one hand at Serah. "What are you waiting for, Serah? Start chanting or Lightning will be stuck in Fang's body forever!"

With her eyes closed, Lightning could still hear Vanille and Serah babbling what sounded like complete and utter nonsense. In fact, now that she thought about it, it sounded an awful like the theme song of Gary the Gorgonopsid sung backwards. But before she could give the idea too much thought, Vanille and Serah began to let out wild woops and yells, and something that smelled a lot like vinegar began to rain down on her.

"Vanille!" Lightning growled.

"I'm almost done." Vanille stomped the ground. "Come on, Serah, dance like you want to win!" A few frantic seconds of screaming and wailing later, Vanille spoke again. "And we're done."

Whack.

Whack.

As Lightning and Fang slumped to the ground unconscious, Serah turned to Vanille.

"Was all of that really necessary? And did you have to bash Fang over the head with your binding rod." Serah stared at the wooden practice sword in her hands. "And did I really have to hit Lightning with this?"

Vanille took a sip of cola from a half-empty bottle – the other half had already been poured on top of Fang and Lightning earlier in the ritual. "Have you ever had a computer that froze and wouldn't come unstuck no matter what?" Serah nodded. "What did you do then?"

"I turned it off and then back on again… no!" Serah grabbed Vanille by the shoulders and shook her. "Don't tell me that all of this was… was some kind of desperate attempt to, I don't, reboot our sisters?"

"Pretty much." Vanille shrugged. "But I wasn't lying. This really did happen a thousand years ago, and they really did fix the problem by whacking them over the head." She grinned at the condiments scattered on the lawn. "The rest, well, I was kind of curious to see if they'd do everything I said." She pointed to Bhakti who had been included as part of the ceremony. "And this way we'll have proof. I mean it was kind of funny, wasn't it?"

Serah did her best to look stern, but failed miserably. It had been pretty funny.

"Okay then, use these for me, would you?" Vanille tossed Serah some smelling salts.

A few seconds later, Fang and Lightning began to stir. The first thing that Lightning did was look at Fang.

"We're back to normal." Lightning stood and ran her hands over her body. It was great to be back.

"Yes, yes, we are." Fang winced as a big slab of peanut butter oozed over her face. Slowly, she turned to look at the Vanille.

The red head took a slow step back. She could practically feel the evil intentions rolling off Fang and Lightning. With a flick of her wrist, she ordered Bhakti to go hide in Diana's bedroom. The little girl loved the robot, and Vanille needed to preserve the footage of the ritual for, uh, posterity and stuff.

"Get her!" Lightning shouted.

In a flash, Vanille was behind Serah. The pink haired woman was her human shield against Fang and Lightning's wrath. "Wait! Wait!" Vanille crouched behind Serah. "You can't kill me! It worked, didn't it?"

Lightning stilled. Grudgingly, very grudgingly, she lowered the wooden practice sword she'd grabbed hold of. "I guess you're right, and I suppose we should thank you." She glared. "But not a word of this to anyone."

Still safely behind Serah, Vanille nodded eagerly. "Sure, sure, not a word." After all, Bhakti wouldn't be saying anything, not really.

Fang's eyes narrowed – she knew Vanille very well, and the red head had agreed a little too quickly – but after a moment she sighed and hugged Vanille, careful to rub as much of the mess all over her onto the red head as possible. "Thanks. I don't know how it worked, but thanks."

X X X

Dinner that night was a much more cheerful affair. Rather than cook anything, Fang and Lightning invited everyone over for some pizza and junk food. The girls didn't even think of questioning their good fortune, although both Serah and Vanille were hard pressed to keep straight faces. It did help that Fang and Lightning had washed off the muck they'd lathered themselves in, and even Vanille had managed to grab a shower and a change of clothes.

After dinner, the girls went to the living room while the adults stayed at the dinner table talking.

"Mommy," Averia shouted. "Have you seen the peanut butter? I'm still hungry, and I want to make a sandwich while we're watching this."

Fang twitched at the mention of the peanut butter. "We ran out. We'll get some tomorrow. What are you girls watching? Is it Diana's new Gary video?"

"No," Averia replied. "It's Bhakti. He has something he wants to show us."

"Bhakti?" Fang froze. Bhakti had been at the ritual. Bhakti could record things. Bhakti could… she turned, ready to grab Vanille, but by then the red head and Serah were already gone, the back door slamming shut behind them. A grim smile crossed Fang's face. "Lightning…"

"I know." The pink haired woman stood. "I'll go get my gun blade and your spear." Her eyes narrowed. She looked at Snow and Hope. "Can you watch the kids?"

"Uh, sure." Snow laughed nervously. "You're not going to kill Serah are you? She is my wife, you know, and Vanille is Hope's girlfriend."

"I'm not going to kill her – she's my sister." Lightning took the stairs two at a time. Her gun blade was upstairs along with Fang's spear. "We're just going to talk to her and Vanille. That's all."

A few seconds after Fang and Lightning had left to 'talk' with their younger sisters, the girls came in giggling and only too eager to show Snow and Hope what was on Bhakti.

"Well," Hope said slowly after the video was finished. "That explains a lot."

It took Snow a supreme effort of will to keep from laughing hysterically. "I guess it does." He reached for a glass of water. "Want to go watch television with the girls?"

X X X

**Authors Notes AND A Surprise**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

To see what the surprise is, skip to the near the end (I've underlined it to make it easier). If not, just keep reading and you'll get to it.

This is based on Fangrai February (now Fangrai Forever!) Prompt #101: Fang and Lightning switch bodies, a la Freaky Friday. I'm currently supposed to be working on something else, but once I saw this prompt, I had to do something on it. This chapter comes off as a bit ridiculous, but I guess it works considering the idea of people just switching bodies is, in and of itself, not especially serious. Given the nature of Freaky Friday, I also thought it would be great to have the kids involved, since their reactions to their parents were some of the first things I pictured when writing this.

Keep in mind too that Fanrai February has been extended to Fangrai Forever. The address for the site is still the same at fangrai(dash)February(period)tumblr(period)com.

I have two more things to cover. First, I've been asked about Whispers of the Gods. It's the other thing (apart from my own stuff) that I've been working on. The first draft of Chapter 13 is now complete at ~19,000 words. Simply put, that is gigantic, and I'm going to be editing it down in the second draft, or simply splitting it in two depending on what I think will work best.

Second (and this is the surprise), I have plans to self-publish a collection of short stories in the next few months (most likely on Amazon as an eBook). Given that, I've been looking into how to make an eBook, and what I've learned is that simply throwing a word document into a converter is likely to produce somewhat fairly mediocre results. If I'm going to ask people to buy a collection of short stories that I have written, I'm going to do my absolute best to make sure that they enjoy them. That means I'm going to strive to provide stories of the highest quality and to present them in as high quality a format as possible. To this end, I've been teaching myself how to better convert and format eBooks.

Now, you're probably wondering how is this relevant to you right now? Well, the answer is, like everything, making eBooks requires practice. And what do I have to practice on? My fanfiction. To ensure that any eBook I put up for sale is of a high standard (formatting and presentation wise), I've been working to convert some of my fanfics into eBooks. The first of these. Ordinary Heroes: Part I (Chapters 1-4), is now complete. You can download a copy of it from a link near the top of my profile (you know, my profile for this website). It comes in both epub and mobi (for Kindle) versions and has all of the features you would expect of a proper eBook (e.g., font scaling, tables of contents etc.) along with a few extras. Have a look, enjoy it, and tell me what you think. I know there are sites that try to make eBook out of stories on this website, but I can assure you they do a fairly poor job of it. If you don't have an eBook reader, Amazon and Calibre (google it) can give you one for free.

In that regard, I am also open to any submission for cover art for the eBook version of Ordinary Heroes (I intend to continue to practice by working my way through it and other stories, and this also ensures that I have more long lasting copies of what I've written on hand). I can't draw worth a damn, and I would give full credit and many an internet hug to those who can provide me with a better cover. PM me if you're interested. I've been going for a while now, so I'll stop here. Visitors to my profile will now also find working links to my blog and deviantART.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	9. Chapter 9

**Do We Have Any Strawberry Milk?**

Lightning scowled as Fang sauntered in her kitchen like she owned the place. Sure, Lightning let Fang and Vanille live with her, but it was her damn house and her damn kitchen.

Smirking that irksome smirk of hers, Fang grabbed a glass, opened the fridge and then bent over to rummage around in it. Lightning did her best not to stare. Damn that woman's shapely behind!

"Hey, Lightning, do we have any strawberry milk?"

Lightning ruffled her newspaper and did her best to pretend that she hadn't been staring and that she wasn't still staring as Fang wiggled around to try and get to the back of the fridge. "No, we do not have any strawberry milk. Besides, what do you need strawberry milk for? We've got plenty of normal milk."

And that, Lightning thought, would be the end of that. Only it wasn't.

The very next day, Fang traipsed back into the kitchen, that same smirk still firmly in place. Then she grabbed a glass, opened the fridge door and waggled her behind at Lightning.

"Do we have any strawberry milk?"

"I told you yesterday," Lightning muttered, tired after a long shift patrolling the edges of town, and barely able to fight off the urge to just reach over and give Fang's fine rear end a pat or two. "We don't have any strawberry milk. We've never had any strawberry milk, and I swear to Etro if you ask again, I'll get my gun blade and shoot you."

Fang looked over her shoulder and grinned. "We'll see." And just because she'd caught Lightning staring, she made sure to wiggle her hips as she ambled out of the kitchen.

And so, the next day came. Fang grabbed a glass, opened the fridge and then turned to Lightning, but before she could say a thing – or tempt Lightning any further – the pink haired woman cut her off.

"No, we don't have any damn strawberry milk, and if you even think of asking again, I'll shoot you with my gun blade."

Fang grinned and leaned across the counter toward Lightning. "Do you have your gun blade with you?"

Lightning winced. She'd left it upstairs. "No."

A lazy smirk crossed Fang's face. "In that case… do we have any strawberry milk?" As Lightning spluttered in outrage, Fang reached over and took the half-empty glass of normal milk in front of Lightning – the milk Lightning had been halfway through drinking. Still smirking, she drank the rest of the milk down, her eyes on Lightning the entire time. "Tastes good." Her lips twitched. "It's not strawberry milk, but Lightning flavoured milk isn't half bad either."

And with that Fang skipped out of the kitchen, leaving Lightning staring intently at the glass of milk. She was still thirsty… so should she get another glass or use the same one. Maker, she could still see the outlines of Fang's lips on the glass. After taking a quick, surreptitious look around, Lightning poured herself another glass of milk – into the same glass.

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This is based on Fanrai Forever Prompt #108: Fang finds herself drinking strawberry flavored milk and taunting Lightning at the same time. Admittedly, Fang never got her strawberry milk, but she did get something better, so I guess it works out.

As soon as I saw this prompt, I knew I had to do it. When I was younger, I used to read every joke book I could find, and one of my favourites has always been the one about a duck, a barman and some grapes. This chapter is pretty much the Fangrai version of that joke.

It was nice to write something this silly after Whispers of the Gods, and it was also nice to write something short. In my profile you can find links to my blog and deviant art.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	10. Chapter 10

**Fang Is A BASP (Bad Ass Sexy Pirate)… Sort Of**

The dread pirate Fang the Ferocious let her gaze wander over the woman tied to her bed. She was quite the pleasing sight, a veritable spitfire who was, even now, doing her very best to glare Fang to death.

"Comfortable, Lady Farron?"

Glacial blue eyes narrowed to little more than slits as Lady Farron thrashed about on the bed. It was pointless of course. Fang had tied her arms to the head of the bed and secured her legs to the bedposts. Not that Fang minded the struggling. On the contrary, she welcomed it. All of that thrashing about did some wonderful things to Lady Farron's already magnificent bosom and slender legs.

"Untie me, pirate scum!" Lady Farron growled.

Fang sat on the end of the bed and ran one hand up the smooth skin of Lady Farron's ankle. To her delight the lady in question shivered and gave a little gasp of surprise. "I think not." She shrugged off her heavy coat but decided to keep her hat on. It was, after all, a very nice hat: soft, jet-black and with the requisite skull and cross bones on it. "For I fear you would simply dash my brains out upon yonder wall."

"I surely would!" Some of Lady Farron's long, pink hair had fallen into her mouth and she had to strain to get the words out. "Now untie me, cur, unless you are too cowardly to face me fairly!"

"Cowardly?" Fang chuckled and let her hand wander up Lady Farron's leg to stroke the firm, toned muscle of her calf. Again the lady shivered and Fang let herself savour the smooth, silken flesh beneath her fingers. "That is such a harsh way of putting things. I prefer to think of myself as rather thoughtful. Oh yes, I know all about you, Lady Farron, and I'm well aware of your exploits with both blade and pistol. I've no desire to add myself to the long list of miscreants you've dealt with." Her lips curled and she bent down to press a gentle kiss to the inside of Lady Farron's knee. The pink haired woman let out a startled cry and Fang had to jerk her head back before Lady Farron could take advantage of the slack in her bonds to knee Fang in the face. "Still, I must confess. I do have more than a little desire to add you to the long list of women I've dealt with."

Lady Farron's eyes grew as wide as saucers as the meaning of Fang's words sunk in. "You… you foul beast!" she cried as she renewed her thrashing. "Let go of me this instant! I will not be the subject of your… your base animal lusts!"

Fang grinned and shimmied up the bed until she was sitting between Lady Farron's thighs. The other woman stilled at once and did her best to scoot up the bed, though it was to no avail as Fang followed her until she could move no further. Settling both hands halfway up Lady Farron's thighs, Fang took a moment to appreciate the delightful shivers running through the other woman's body.

"Base animal lusts? You wound me, Lady Farron." Fang smirked. "And you misunderstand me also. I've no intention of simply venting my lusts upon you, quite the opposite, actually." Her eyes gleamed and she trailed her fingertips up toward the juncture of Lady Farron's thighs. "In fact, I have every intention of helping you enjoy yourself, Lady Farron. And I assure you, you will enjoy yourself."

"Liar!" Lady Farron spat, though the words lacked their usual bite as her breathing grew ragged and a rosy flush spread across her cheeks.

Fang smiled. Lady Farron looked even more fetching than before. And she'd looked quite fetching to begin with. After stealing Lady Farron off her own vessel, Fang had taken a few moments to render the other woman unconscious so she could restrain her and remove all of her attire save for the chemise she still wore. She'd been lucky enough to catch Lady Farron in a gown. The garment had not only been pleasing to the eye – royal blue rather suited her captive – but the other woman hadn't been able to fight properly in it, allowing Fang to get the better of her.

"Liar?" Fang leaned over Lady Farron and let her hands ghost up the woman's sides. "Then why do you tremble so? Well, Lady Farron?"

"It is disgust!" Lady Farron managed to sound impressively angry, though the deepening flush upon her cheeks suggested otherwise. Fang had bedded enough women to know what that meant, nor could she miss the heave of the other woman's bosom. Interesting. Perhaps Lady Farron was not yet used to such pursuits, otherwise she'd have hid her growing desire a little better. "I have a theory, if you would permit me to explain it."

"Silence, pirate!" Lady Farron's words came out in a breathy hiss as Fang stroked the flat plane of her belly through the thin cloth of the chemise. "I do not treat with criminals."

"So you say." Fang almost groaned. The shifting of Lady Farron's legs against her made her sorely tempted to simply cut to the chase, but there were certain customs to these situations, and no self-respecting pirates of means or reputation ignored them. Besides, she had waited some time for this. "Lady Claire Farron – or should I say, High Admiral of the Cocoon Navy – you've sent at least twenty of my brethren to the gallows, and that is only counting the ones of some repute. It's been said that your very gaze can curdle milk from a hundred paces, that your voice alone can make men shiver in their boots and throw themselves overboard in a haze of fear and panic, and –"

Lady Farron scowled. "Fang, focus…"

"Oh." Fang winced. She had been getting a little bit carried away. "Anyway, Lady Farron, it would seem as though you have quite the distaste for pirates. As the queen of the aforementioned group, I believe it is my solemn duty to wreak horrible vengeance upon you and yours. However, I am not a petty woman. I have no desire to harm your family, but restitution must be had." She put one finger on her chin and did her best to look thoughtful. "But there is something that you can give me that no one else can." She leered at Lady Farron's body and let her hands wander up to the lower curves of the woman's breasts. "Can you guess what it might be?"

Lady Farron twisted about in a vain attempt to escape the pirate's touch. The thrice-damned woman seemed to know her body better than she did. Every stroke, every caress, every lingering touch filled her body with a heady fire. Whether it was her belly, her sides or even the sensitive flesh of her bust, the pirate knew exactly how to touch her. Doubtless, the miscreant had honed such skills on any number of helpless, innocent young maidens, but she refused to let herself be the next target. "Never!"

"Silly woman." Fang chuckled. "You've finally outmatched yourself." She continued to tease and stroke, this time running her fingers gently along Lady Farron's cheek and pulling away just in time to avoid having them bitten off. "A fine swordsman you might be and an excellent shot to boot, but I suspect you've had little time for romance or even the pleasures of the flesh. In this battle then, I have the upper hand." Fang flicked her wrist and a knife appeared in her hand. "And believe me, I intend to enjoy this victory quite thoroughly, and I'll make certain you enjoy it as well."

A few precise cuts later and Fang had the chemise in tatters though there were some startlingly modern undergarments beneath it that covered the woman's more private regions.

"I must say, I am growing fonder of these modern trappings." Fang eyed Lady Farron's chest, which was hidden beneath what she believed was called a 'brassiere'. "It hints quite nicely at what lies beneath." She tilted her head to one side and studied the panties Lady Farron wore. "Those aren't half bad either."

Mustering her sternest look, Lady Farron did her best to ignore the precarious nature of her predicament. "If you cease right now, then I will ensure that you are executed by firing squad rather than hanged."

"No one will be executing me," Fang replied. "Now, be a good girl and enjoy yourself."

And with that, Fang began her ministrations. She started by laying her lips upon the soft, sensitive skin of Lady Farron's throat – careful, again, to avoid a head butt or other such assault – and then, gently stroking the quivering woman's frame, she worked her way down Lady Farron's collarbone and her décolletage.

"It seems a shame to hide such beauty behind those uniforms you favour," Fang murmured. "Though the gown you wore fit you nicely." She unlatched the brassiere and took a moment to admire her prize. "And these are even better."

"Cease your staring!" Lady Farron cried, though the hiss of her breath through her lips and the tremor in her belly spoke of a battle hard fought but swiftly slipping from her grasp – touch by talented touch. "Do not look at me!"

"Do not be embarrassed." Fang continued to stare quite pointedly at the chest before her. "You are pleasing to the eye, though your reaction only furthers my suspicion. You are untouched, Lady Farron, though perhaps that is not true any more."

Lady Farron snarled but there was no heat to it, not angry heat anyway. Of another heat, there was much indeed. "Stop blathering, pirate and unhand me."

Fang smirked and then set her lips and hands to wandering over this fresh new terrain. Like any good pirate, she thought herself an explorer, and the prospect of claiming Lady Farron for herself was more than thrilling.

To the lady at the centre of Fang's attention, the few moments that passed felt like hours of the most tortuous but pleasurable sort. Any number of new and unfamiliar feelings washed through Lady Faron and by the time Fang pulled away, her lips planting one last kiss upon a turgid peak, she was little more than a wreck, scarcely capable of coherent thought. Only the heat of Fang's touch made sense to her now, and though her pride demanded she remain remote, her body refused to give her that luxury. Traitorous thing, it had already given up.

"Who would have thought the fabled ice of Lady Farron hid such fire?" Fang planted a trail of kisses along Lady Farron's chest and then down to her belly button. "Perhaps picking the pristine flower of the Rose of Bodhum will prove to be even more pleasurable than I had thought." Her gaze drifted to the sole remaining garment upon her captive. "But there is a while to go yet, and first I would have you beg for me."

"I will never beg for you." Lady Farron lifted her chin. "A daughter of the House of Farron does not beg."

"Not yet, perhaps. But you will."

And how true those words proved.

Fang was a firm believer in the adage that a fine woman was much like a fine wine, something to be appreciated with almost religious fervour. A fine wine, for instance, offered a unique bouquet, a taste and aroma that might never be experienced again, regardless of the money one possessed. Likewise, Lady Farron offered a tantalising mix of beauty and inexperience, ice and fire. Educating her in the finer points of pleasure was not an opportunity to be missed.

She began again, touching, testing and looking for all the places upon her increasingly willing captive's body that might prove receptive to her touch. Someone else might rush to the end of the matter, but Fang preferred to go slowly. Let the proud woman beneath her learn how much pleasure could be had. A touch here, a taste there and everywhere the heat between their bodies – Fang could be ruthless when she had to be, but rarely had such ruthlessness been so enjoyable.

Soon, Lady Farron was capable of little more than moans and whimpers of the most ardent sort. Fang had teased out every secret of her body, had learned all the spots that made stars come to life behind her eyes and drew the breath from her body. Some Lady Farron had guessed of, or at least heard of from the saucier maids about her house, but others – the spot behind her knee, the edges of her ribs – she had never even dreamed of. Only now, when her eyes were glazed and heavy with a desire that she could barely understand did Fang cease her ministrations.

"What say you now?" Fang asked, one hand drifting to the edges of Lady Farron's panties. "Well, Lady Farron? Shall I cease or shall I continue?" The woman was close, Fang could tell from the rise and fall of her chest and the almost pained expression upon her face.

"I will never – oh!" Lady Farron bucked as Fang pressed one hand down upon the juncture of her thighs.

"Pirate I may be, but I am not without some mercy." Fang let her hand linger a moment longer then reached up to cup Lady Farron's cheek. Before, the other woman might have tried to bite her, now she merely rested against Fang's palm, panting and so very close. "Ask me to shiver your timbers and I will proceed to do exactly that."

For a moment the fog of lust cleared and Lady Farron's eyes flashed fire. "Seriously, Fang? Shiver my timbers?"

"Lightning… stay in character." Fang grinned and went back to teasing her captive. "So, Lady Farron, will you yield?"

Lady Farron fought her desire as best she could, but the damnable pirate's hands were much too skilled for her to resist for long. Again and again the vicious pirate took her up to a place where she could all but sense the peak she had heard of spoken in hushed whispers. Was this the little death the poets spoke of? If it was, she wanted none of it, yet at the same time, she wanted it more than anything in the world.

"Very well," she whispered at last, her face turned away. "Do with me what you will."

Almost gently, the pirate turned her face to hers and locked their lips together. "I will, Lady Farron. Believe me I will."

X X X

Insert ridiculously hot Fang/Lightning sex scene. The kind of thing that would get this story pulled off this website. Oh yeah.

X X X

Fang laid her head against Lightning's stomach. The scent of the other woman's passion was still heavy in the air and she could hear her wife's breathing slowly return to normal. Affection flooded through her, and she pressed a few more kisses to the smooth skin of Lightning's belly before suddenly, she found herself on her back with her wrists handcuffed to the head of the bed.

"Huh?"

Lady Farron – better known as Lightning Farron, Colonel of the Guardian Corps – flicked her hair over her shoulder and straddled Fang's waist. "Shiver my timbers, Fang? You really couldn't think of anything better?"

Fang looked up at the other woman and grinned. It was quite the view. "Well, I couldn't think of anything else and I'm not exactly up to date on pirate lingo. That's more a Claire and Vanille thing." Her niece had recently caught onto the awesomeness that was pirates and Vanille had gleefully joined in the ensuing madness.

"I love Claire and Vanille, but please don't mention our niece and your sister when we're in bed and naked." Lightning eyed the clothes Fang wore. The modified pirate outfit looked good on the other woman, but it covered far too much flesh.

"Fine, fine." Fang laughed. "Now, how did you get out of those handcuffs so quickly?"

Lightning's lips twitched. "I'm a colonel in the Guardian Corps. You don't think I've learned a few things?" She smiled. "Besides, I wanted to be in charge for a while. You had your fun –"

"Technically, you were the one having fun, as in mind blowing, screaming to Etro and the Maker fun…"

Lightning blushed and then scowled. "As if you don't like having your way with me." She coughed. "Anyway, it's my turn now."

"Oh?" Fang smiled. "How exactly is that going to work?"

"Let's see…" Lightning smirked. "Yes, how about the dashing navy admiral catches the pirate queen by surprise, turning the tables and getting her revenge."

"Her sexy revenge?"

Whack.

"Ouch!" Fang scowled. "I'm fairly sure this particular scenario didn't involve any hitting, otherwise I'd have spanked you at least once."

Lightning fought the urge to whack Fang over the head again. She'd once tried to hide how much she enjoyed these little games, but she'd failed rather miserably. It was next to impossible to lie to Fang when the other woman was doing her level best to make Lightning pass out from pleasure.

"Maybe next time," Lightning said at last. "But you were being silly." She grinned. "And don't forget, Serah and Snow have got the girls until the day after tomorrow, so we've got the house to ourselves."

"Fine, fine." Fang lay back. "Go on, get your revenge – your sexy revenge!"

X X X

The dread pirate Fang the Ferocious stared up at Lady Farron in shock. Somehow, the other woman had managed to reverse their positions. "What?"

"You've had your fun, pirate." Lady Farron's smile was ruthless. "But I overheard you telling your crew to keep away from your chambers tonight. That means I have you at my mercy, and for what you've done, I will have restitution."

"Sexy restitution –"

Whack.

"Silence, churl." Lady Farron stripped Fang out of her shirt. "The only sounds I will permit from your throat this night will be the cries I draw from you." Her eyes narrowed. "You will scream for me, pirate, I can promise you that."

X X X

Insert super sexy Lightning/Fang sex scene. The kind of thing that would make the censors weep and lead to the permanent banning of my account.

X X X

Fang yawned and grinned a touch stupidly. There was nothing quite like a full weekend of mind blowing sex to make things better. Fang the pirate had tasted the full wrath of Lady Farron and had gone back for seconds – and thirds. And speaking of Lady Farron, Lightning was currently sitting opposite her at the dining table, a cup of coffee held in one hand as she scanned through the newspaper. The girls – who had come back earlier that morning – were playing in the living room with Claire.

"Fun weekend, huh?"

Lightning stretched and Fang was pleased to see her wince just a little. It was good to know she wasn't the only one sore in the most pleasurable of ways. "Yes, and I still have another week off before I have to be back in the office."

"Another week? That's good because I've got another two weeks before I leave on another expedition." Fang smirked. "There were some other things I was thinking about…"

"Get your mind out of the gutter." Lightning hid her grin behind her coffee cup. "The girls might hear us. Tell me later." She looked around to make sure none of the girls were within earshot. "Or better yet, show me later."

"I'll do that."

Just then a loud scream came from the living room. It wasn't a pained scream and it wasn't a horrified scream indicating probable property damage, so the two of them took their time getting to the living room.

On the couch, Claire was wearing what appeared to be Snow's pirate hat from Halloween as she waved a rubber cutlass in the air. As for Averia… Fang stared. That was her pirate hat on the girl's head – as in the pirate hat she'd worn while ravishing Lady Farron senseless. And Diana, well, the youngest of the three was on the floor thrashing and screaming.

"Agghh!"

"What are you doing?" Lightning asked.

"We're playing pirates." Claire brandished her sword. "I'm the captain. Averia is my best mate and Diana tried to mutiny so we made her walk the plank." She pointed at the thrashing girl. "But there were sharks in the water, so now she's getting eaten."

"Agghhh!" Diana wailed again.

But Lightning wasn't interested in that – Diana did tend to take games very seriously – so much as she was interested in the hat on Averia's head. As innocent as it looked on her daughter's head, she couldn't help but think of all the distinctly not-innocent things Fang had done to her while wearing it. "Where did you get that hat, Averia?"

"Diana found it under your bed." Averia shrugged and prodded Diana with one finger, prompting another series of wails and cries from Diana about how a giant squid was now fighting the sharks to see who could eat her the fastest. "Your bedroom door was open and she was walking past and she saw it, so we decided to use it since we're playing pirates."

"Is that so?" Fang struggled not to laugh at the blush spreading across Lightning's cheeks. She knew exactly what the other woman was thinking. "Do you have to use it?"

"Oh, are you using it for something?" Averia tugged the hat off and handed it back to Lightning who, wordlessly, handed it back to Fang.

Fang put the hat on.

On the ground, Diana stopped thrashing and looked at Fang. "Wow, mommy, that hat looks really good on you. Maybe you can come play with us?"

Claire grinned. "Shiver me timbers, you make a good pirate, Aunt Fang!"

Fang had to grab Lightning around the waist to keep the woman from tripping over her own feet.

"Mom?" Averia asked.

"Don't worry about her." Fang settled Lightning back on her feet and gave all three children a grin. "I shivered her timbers earlier."

"What?" Diana's eyes widened and she scowled. "You two were playing pirates without us?"

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This chapter was based on Fangrai Forever Prompt #94: In which Fang is a (badass) pirate!

I don't even know where to begin with this chapter. A while back someone asked me if I would ever do a pirate AU. Now, I don't have any plans to do a full story in that vein (yet), but the idea sort of stuck with me and upon seeing this prompt, I thought I'd give it a go… but with a twist. You see, a proper pirate story would require a certain amount of high seas action, cutlass-rattling action and so forth, and with everything else I'm writing I don't think I could give such a story the amount of time and attention it deserves (I would rather not put out anything I didn't think was good enough). So I needed something shorter and after a bit of consideration I thought to myself: why not try something a little bit more humorous and perhaps risqué? Thus Fang the BASP (Bad Ass Sexy Pirate) was born!

You have probably noticed that the language in the role-playing scene is somewhat over the top in places. This was a deliberate choice. When I was younger, I used to read everything I could get my hands on. Everything was fair game: historical romances, thrillers, horror, history books, science books… everything. Although reading all of that at a young age probably warped my mind, it did provide me with endless hours of amusement. And one of the things that has always amused me the most is the language used to describe sex/seduction scenes in traditional romances. We have phrases like (and I'm paraphrasing here): "Character X's lips closed around the turgid peaks that signaled the mounting passion and heady flame of arousal that surged through Character Y's inexperienced loins." For some reason a younger me (and in truth, the current me) found such phrases absolutely hilarious, and I've tried to mimic that same language, the kind that is at once very passionate but perhaps also a little bit funny because of how over the top that is. It's how I can very easily see Fang approaching a role-playing scenario: something that she and Lightning can both enjoy, but also something to have a bit of fun with (hence, Lightning getting a little annoyed when she goes way over the top since Lightning will, naturally, treat this all as something that should be done properly and to the same exacting standard as she does everything else).

But that's the nice thing about Fang and Lightning from this universe. They're in a relationship and they're comfortable enough with each other to try new things and have a bit of fun (and they're also sensible enough to make sure the kids aren't around to walk in on them!). As for the "insert sex scene" bits… yeah. I might joke, but I'd rather not get anything purged on this website and I think the lead up let's you imagine for yourselves what they might get up to (and no words cannot adequately describe the awesomeness of BASP Fang).

If you have the chance, check out Chapter Six of Superhero, which is now up. And if you've got a prompt that you think might be good for me to try, include that in your review. The prompts can be found on the Fangrai Forever website at fangrai(dash)forever(period)tumblr(period)com.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	11. Chapter 11

**Little Sister Knows Best**

Lightning wanted to believe she was a considerate person – at least when it came to the people she cared about. For those few, precious people, there wasn't a lot she wouldn't do. But as much as that group had grown over the years – she was almost up to double digits now – Serah would always be right near the top of the list.

So when her sister had asked her if she could take Friday afternoon off, Lightning had agreed. Never mind all of the paperwork she had to do, the recruits she had to train and the shooting range she had to fix. If Serah wanted to have coffee then they were going to have coffee. After everything they'd been through, she couldn't push her sister away, especially since she'd moved in with Snow.

As usual, Lightning arrived at the café early. She made a point of always being on time, and she held everyone else to that same standard, much to the exasperation of her few friends and her many colleagues.

The café had a warm, old fashion charm to it with handmade wooden furniture instead of the usual sterile, mass produced metal or plastic. Rather than sit inside, Lightning opted for a table outside, nestled amongst the trees that lined the sidewalk. It was a good day to be outside: warm but not hot and with a gentle breeze that was well shy of being truly windy. The whisper of the wind through the leaves mixed with the gentle murmur of conversation to blunt the hard edge that lingered even after she'd finished work for the day.

As she waited, she ran a soldier's eye over everything. She might be off duty, and she might be in the mood to relax, but she'd been through too much to ever let her guard all the way down. But even that was an improvement. The first few months after her journey with the others, she'd jumped at every shadow, pointed her gun blade at every phantom that haunted the edges of her vision.

She didn't much care for keeping up with the latest fashions. There wasn't any point. She didn't flaunt her looks, but she knew what clothes looked good on her, and she had more than enough to suit her needs. The stores on either side of the café were thus of only passing interest: they catered more to those with an interest in high fashion or an eye for expensive jewellery. Still, she filed away a few details. Serah's birthday wasn't far, and few things pleased Lightning as much as spoiling her little sister. A new pair of earrings would look good on the younger woman, sapphire perhaps to match her eyes.

As for the café itself, this was Lightning's first time visiting it. She'd heard of it in passing from some of her colleagues. It was, apparently, well known for the quality of its food and drink. More than one fellow officer had mentioned – perhaps not realising she was listening – that it was the ideal place for a casual lunchtime dalliance with a romantic interest.

Imagine all of the surprise then when Lightning had let slip that she planned on going to the café. Her love life – or seeming lack thereof – was the subject of no small amount of speculation amongst the other officers. She could have corrected them, but they wouldn't have believed her anyway, would have interpreted the truth as a lie meant to cover up what was surely a torrid affair with some as yet unnamed lover. If only they could put that much effort into getting their own work done. At least it helped boost morale.

A few minutes passed with no sign of Serah, and Lightning let her gaze wander over all the passers by. Several sought to catch her eye, but she didn't bother to acknowledge them. Perhaps it was rude, but she was here to meet Serah, not speak with some random stranger. Her lips twitched. Vanille would have talked to at least one of them, maybe even invited a few to sit down and share some cake. The younger woman was a crazier, nosier and altogether more mischievous version of Serah. Once, that would have grated on Lightning's nerves. But after Serah had moved out, it was a relief to share her house with Vanille and Fang. It was never quiet with those two, and there were times when Lightning was almost afraid to be alone with her own thoughts.

Fang… Lightning sighed. Vanille had become her sister in everything but name, but the older Pulsian was something else, something that Lightning wasn't yet ready to put words to. Fang put her on edge, left every nerve tingling and raw, and not necessarily in a bad way. They joked and laughed with each other – or rather Fang laughed and Lightning gave the occasional faint smile – but there was always a certain distance between them, a separation that was as much emotional as it was physical, as though they were afraid of what might happen if they let themselves get to close. It had them walking on eggshells around each other, fumbling their words, unsure of what to say and leave unsaid. It also made Vanille want to strangle both of them, if only her hands were strong enough.

Finally, she caught a flash of pink hair in the crowd. Her eyes softened. Very few people had pink hair, and sure enough, it was Serah. Perhaps she was biased, but Lightning thought Serah cut quite a striking figure against the rest of the crowd. A white sundress hugged her little sister's slim form, and a white, wide-brimmed hat with a blue ribbon was tucked onto her head.

At times, Lightning envied Serah. Her sister had a warm, approachable sort of beauty, the kind of smile that was welcoming with a hint of mischief. Lightning's looks were of a more regal cast, attractive but imposing. Serah could look every inch a lady and still come across as the friendly girl next door. Lightning was unmistakably a soldier, regardless of what she wore. She scowled. Snow had better appreciate how lucky he was.

Serah caught sight of her and with a happy wave, she tucked her purse under her arm and weaved through the crowd to take a seat at the table opposite Lightning.

"You actually took the afternoon off."

"You didn't think I would?" Lightning allowed a touch of amusement to colour her voice. "How is everything? I would have thought you'd be in class right now."

Serah giggled. As a schoolteacher, her work hours were quite different from Lightning's. She did have to deal with monsters though, albeit of a different variety. "Holidays began yesterday."

"I see." Lightning passed the menu to Serah. "Do you want anything?"

"This place is supposed to be very good." Serah opened the menu and studied it with all the care Vanille gave the ancient tomes the surveyors occasionally brought in from the ruins that littered the area. "But look at how expensive everything is."

Lightning shrugged. "Order whatever you want. I'm paying." It was expensive, but that wasn't a problem. She earned a lot as a captain of the Guardian Corps, not to mention all the bonuses she received from those special assignments that only someone with her abilities and knowledge of the terrain could do. And Fang and Vanille did help with the household expenses, Fang by leading expeditions to map and explore Gran Pulse, and Vanille by assisting in the development of new technology combining the science of Gran Pulse and Cocoon.

"Are you sure?" Serah grinned. "I'm not poor, Lightning, and you never know… I might just order everything on the menu. What then?"

"Then I'll sit here and make sure you eat every last bit of it." Lightning smirked. "I remember when we were kids. You always used to pick at your food. I had to watch you to make sure you ate it all. Maybe that's why you're so short."

"I am not short." Serah huffed. "You're just tall."

"No, I'm not tall. Snow is tall." Lightning poked Serah on the nose and tugged her hand back before the younger woman could grab it. "You're just short."

"Meanie." Serah wrinkled her nose. This sort of playful teasing was a reminder that Claire hadn't died so that Lightning could live – she'd gone away for a while, true, but little by little she was coming back. Lightning would never be Claire again, but she would never again be the cold, cruel Lightning who had all but thrown Serah out after learning she'd become a l'Cie. "But I have got to try some of the cake as well as the coffee. What do you think about chocolate cake?"

"That one?" Lightning frowned at the menu. That wasn't a normal chocolate cake – it was diabetes on a plate: five different kinds of chocolate, fudge, icing and a host of other extras. She could already feel the heart disease taking hold of her. Oh well, she should be all right as long as she didn't make a habit of it. She grinned. When she got home she could tell Vanille all about it. The Dia had an even bigger sweet tooth than Serah, so it would drive her nuts. She probably wouldn't rest until she'd managed to drag Lightning and Fang to the café to try it herself.

Unbidden, a host of images flashed through Lightning's mind: Fang with chocolate smeared across her lips; Lightning leaning over to wipe it off; and Fang taking her hand and oh so slowly bringing it to her lips, sucking the chocolate off first one long, slender digit then another until Lightning –

"Are we going to order or are you going to keep staring into space?" Serah waved one hand in front of Lightning. "Well?"

Lightning hissed. Not good. She'd been having more and more thoughts like that recently, and it was only a matter of time before someone worked out what she was imagining. "Sure." She waved one of the waiters over. "Let's make our order."

"So…" Serah tilted her head to one side and grinned. "Vanille tells me you've been working longer hours lately."

Lightning made a disgusted sound – that little tattletale. "They're thinking of putting up another settlement about two hours away, and I've been clearing out anything dangerous."

"I hope you don't overwork yourself." Serah reached over and poked Lightning in the side. However, all the older woman did was scowl. "Good, you didn't flinch, so at least you're not hurt." Serah could still remember all the times Lightning had come back barely able to walk. On the upside, if Lightning got hurt now, Fang would go off and spear whatever was responsible while Vanille patched her back up.

Lightning pushed Serah's hand away. "I'm fine, and do you and Vanille have to talk about everything?"

"Almost." Serah shrugged. "I worry about you, and now that I've moved out, I can't check on you as often as I'd like."

"So you picked Vanille, who is clearly the sanest, most responsible person we know?" Lightning made a face. "How exactly does that reduce your worrying?"

"Well, it was either her or Fang, and something tells me you wouldn't like Fang watching you too closely." Serah's lips curled up at the edges. "Or maybe you would."

It was that steadily widening grin on Serah's face that did it. Lightning had just walked into a trap, and as usual when it came to Serah, she'd never seen it coming. Stupid filial affection – it made it so easy to forget that her sister was one of the most devious people she knew.

"Vanille says you've been avoiding Fang lately; that you wouldn't let her help you with all that extra work of yours, which is odd since we all know how much you like having Fang around whenever you need to kill anything."

"It's not like that." Lightning looked away, unable to stand the obvious amusement in her sister's eyes. Or maybe it was exactly like that and she didn't want to admit it. When it came to Fang, nothing was simple. She didn't know where she stood with the other woman, and she was afraid to ask in case the answer she got wasn't the one she wanted.

"If you say so."

Lightning's eyes widened. Was Serah actually going to let the matter drop?

"Look, our order is here!"

The coffee was top notch with a deep, rich flavour and a perfect, subtle note of bitterness. Despite the cost, she might have to come here more often, or send some of the new recruits on coffee runs. She could call it urban navigation training. And then there was the cake, and if Serah's reaction was anything to go by, it was amazing.

Serah had taken one long look at the cake – sizing up the kill, so to speak – then cut herself a slice only to let out a low moan of pleasure as the chocolate hit her tongue. Lightning had even found herself blushing at how obvious her sister's enjoyment was. Fang had once asked her, that teasing smirk on her full lips, if she knew what a chocolate orgasm was. After almost choking on her coffee, Lightning had brushed the question aside.

Any sentence involving her, Fang and the word 'orgasm' was not something she wanted to dwell on – not if she wanted to stay sane. Of course, Fang had to have the last word. She'd stared right at Lightning and then lifted a few pieces of chocolate to her lips, devouring the sweets in a way that had to be borderline pornographic, at least to Lightning's lust addled mind. And if Lightning had gone out and bought ten more of those damn chocolate bars and left them where Fang could see them, who could blame her?

But it was amazing how different the two events were. Watching Serah bliss out on chocolate left her feeling awkward as though – dear Maker, please never let it happen – she'd walked in on her sister and Snow in the midst of intimacy. Watching Fang eat chocolate made her want to either join in or take the chocolate's place.

"You've got some on your cheek." Lightning frowned and pulled out a napkin to wipe away a stray bit of chocolate. Her sister usually had excellent table manners – the sugar must already have overwhelmed her brain.

Serah blushed, but made no attempt to stop eating the cake. "You have to try this. It's so good." She licked her lips and then reached into her purse for a magazine. "By the way, just when were you planning on telling me about your affair with Fang?"

Lightning's hand froze halfway to her slice of cake. "What?"

Serah handed the magazine to Lightning with a smirk. "Take a look." Then she reached for another slice of cake.

Lightning glanced over the offending piece of tabloid filth and her blood began to boil. The magazine had somehow managed to get pictures of when she and Fang had gone to the movies a few months ago. The pictures showed the two of them talking over coffee and sharing popcorn. However, the biggest picture showed Lightning leaning on Fang, one arm draped almost possessively around the taller woman's waist, their bodies side by side. Even now she could remember that moment, along with the frisson of heat that had run all the way down her side to pool deep and low in her belly.

And the accompanying text was even worse.

In a voice that left no doubt about her amusement, Serah summarised. "As these photos show, when two women like Captain Lightning Farron and Oerba Yun Fang are involved, even a night at the movies can be red hot!"

"Those idiots." Lightning fought the urge to rip up the magazine. They had no right to barge into her life, and even less right to try and label whatever it was that she and Fang had. How could Serah enjoy this garbage? "We went to a movie, that's all."

"And you didn't tell me?" Serah's eyes took on a predatory gleam. "And you didn't bring Vanille?"

Lightning was beginning to wonder if Vanille was the source of the story. It would be just like her. She'd started to make increasingly obvious hints to Lightning suggesting that she make her move. In Vanille's words, she wanted someone who could provide for and look after her troublesome big sister and Lightning was the only one who fit the bill.

"Vanille wouldn't have liked the movie." It was a pathetic excuse, but it was all she had. Vanille loved action movies.

"Really?"

Arms folded across her chest, Lightning stood her ground. It was at time like this, she missed the days when her word was law. Not that she missed the resentment that had built up between her and Serah when Lightning had tried to be the younger woman's mother and sister. "Yes, and how can you read this? It's garbage."

In response, Serah flicked to another page. "Maybe, but it can be quite fun to read."

Lightning stared at this latest insult to her intelligence. "What the hell is this?" Her growl had some of the other customers looking their way. "I don't even…"

"I think it's funny." Serah pulled the magazine back before Lightning could destroy it.

"It's not funny at all." Lightning pointed at the magazine. "Explain how that could possibly be funny."

Serah stroked her chin. "Let's see… you are the famous Lightning Farron, leader of the l'Cie, and now, you're a dashing, beautiful and highly decorated member of the Guardian Corps. You're also young and single. Is it really that surprising when the tabloids speculate about your love life? And is it really that surprising when they try pairing you up with almost everybody you spend any time with?"

"Fang I can understand." Lightning's fists clenched. "But the others… Hope… and Vanille… and Sazh?" She had to force the last name out. "Snow?"

Her sister gave a merry laugh. "We both know that Hope is going to become quite the man one day. He's not there yet, but it won't be long, and whoever he chooses in the future is going to be very lucky."

"You've given this a lot of thought." Lightning scowled. "But according to that garbage, when I'm not busy canoodling with Fang, I'm apparently busy making a man out of Hope and a woman out of Vanille." The 'article' had even used those exact words.

"You mean you haven't seduced the pair of them – at once, mind you – and reduced them to quivering piles of desire, eager for your every touch?"

Serah knew full well that anyone else would have been punched in the head or worse, but being Lightning's favourite (and only) little sister granted her certain privileges. She did wonder sometimes – most recently after a drinking contest with Vanille – what it would take for Lightning to punish her and whether the older woman would have the guts to bend her over her knee. The last time Lightning had done that was when Serah had come back drunk from a party in high school. Neither of them had ever mentioned it again, and she had a feeling Lightning had wiped the whole incident from her memory.

"And you're not secretly raising Dajh with Sazh? He is an eligible widower with a heart of gold." Serah grinned. "And let's not forget Snow. Supposedly, you've already stolen him away from me."

"You can keep him."

"Relax." Serah chuckled and took a sip of her coffee. "No one believes these things, it's just fun to speculate." She turned the page. "But you have to admit, the others do have their good points." A wistful smile crossed her face and she gave a gentle sigh. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd met Vanille before Snow…"

Lightning gaped.

"I'm joking, I'm joking." Serah held up her engagement ring for emphasis. "You know, there's even people who speculate about the two of us."

"Us?" Lightning had to pry her hands off her coffee cup before she broke it. "What kind of speculation?"

Serah tilted her head to one side and clasped her hands to her chest. Then she gave Lightning her most innocent yet seductive look, something that left Lightning equal parts impressed and disturbed. "Let's see: you're the strong, overly protective older sister, unwilling to share me with anyone else. I'm the innocent younger sister, reliant on you for everything and closer to you than anyone in the world." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "But seriously, if we weren't related and you were still on the market, I would totally –"

"Stop right there!" Lightning did not want to hear that, and to make sure her sister couldn't continue she shoved another slice of cake into her mouth. "I refuse to talk about that."

A happy smile spread across Serah's face. The cake got better with every slice, and the rich, sweetness of the chocolate added a unique twist to the look of absolute horror on her sister's face. Lightning could be so fun to tease. But she wasn't here just to tease the older woman.

"Would it be that bad if some of it were true? I mean, the stuff about you and Fang?" Serah flipped back to the original article. "You look happy here, Lightning, and you deserve to be happy."

"Serah." Lightning dragged in a deep breath. She hated it when her sister got like this. There was no way out of this conversation now.

"Lightning, I love you, but emotionally you're a cripple." Lightning tried to get a word in, but Serah would have none of it. "But that's okay. I get it. You gave up so much for me when we were younger – gave up part of who you were – and I'm grateful, so grateful. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't fought so hard for both of us. But isn't it time you were happy?"

Lightning stared into her coffee. The dark liquid had gone cold, but she couldn't bring herself to care. In all honesty, she'd been lost when Serah moved out. When they were younger and it was just the two of them, and she'd been working herself to the bone to make ends meet, she'd kept herself going by thinking of that far off day when Serah would be grown up and everything would be okay. Now, Serah had moved in with the man she was going to marry and everything was fine.

Snow was a good man: the kind of man Lightning knew would look after her sister no matter what. Sure, there were times when Lightning wanted to bash his head in, but that was true of almost everyone. So now after living for Serah for so long, she had to live for herself – only she wasn't sure she knew how. It was enough to make her laugh and cry at the same time. She finally had the chance to live her own life, to go after what she wanted, but she wasn't sure she deserved that chance, let alone deserved the person she wanted.

Lightning Farron: hero, legend… coward.

"She deserves better." Lightning fiddled with one of the napkins and scrunched it up into a ball. "I'm damaged goods, Serah. You know that."

"Damaged goods?" Serah murmured before she leaned over to whack Lightning upside the head. "Idiot."

"Ouch." When was the last time Serah had hit her? Anyone else would have lost an arm for that.

Serah scowled. "If you ever say something that stupid again, then I'll hit you some more." She raised her hand. "Damaged goods? You're smarter than that, Lightning, and a lot better too."

"She does deserve better though."

Whack.

"I don't know if I can –"

Whack.

"Damn it! Can you stop hitting me so I can explain?" Lightning grabbed her sister's wrist.

"Fine." Serah snatched her arm back. "I'm waiting for my beautiful, intelligent and talented heroic sister to explain to me how she isn't good enough for the woman she loves." She tapped one foot on the sidewalk. "Well?"

Lightning considered arguing for a moment before giving up. Serah would see right through her. "Serah, we both know I'm not good at this." She gestured at all the people around them. "I'm not good with other people. I can order them around and lead them, but that's not the same as spending time with them; that's not the same as loving them. I have maybe a dozen people I'd call friends and they didn't come easily."

"You've been living with Fang for months now, and I haven't heard any complaints." Serah had, but most of them were related to whether or not Lightning would ever get the stick out of a certain part of her anatomy; in other words, the usual.

"Fang and Vanille, Serah. There's a difference." Lightning stared into her cold coffee. "Fang and I… sometimes we get along so well and sometimes we fight and Vanille… she helps smooth things over." Her lips curled. "She's still a brat though."

"You fight because neither of you can make up your damn mind." Serah threw her hands up in exasperation. "You won't say anything; she won't say anything. But neither of you will even think of letting anyone else come between you. It's no wonder you're so wound up. The two of you should just get a room – you do have several at your house – and just –"

"Finish that sentence and die." Lightning's ferocious scowl had no effect whatsoever on Serah.

"And talk everything over." Serah smirked. "Or was your mind wandering back into the gutter?" She sighed. "We're all sick of watching the two of you. Do you think I don't notice you staring when you think no one is looking? I never thought I'd see my big sister mooning over someone like a lovesick schoolgirl, but I guess I was wrong. It's actually kind of cute."

"I do not moon over Fang like a lovesick schoolgirl."

"Not all the time. Sometimes you look like you want to strangle her, and sometimes you look like you want to do all sorts of wicked things to her." Serah's eyes gleamed as she did her best to impersonate Lightning's voice and expression. "I'm Lightning Farron, and I totally stare at Fang when no one can see me. I also mope around the house whenever she's gone, and I always make sure to cook her favourite food when she comes back."

"How do you even know about that?" Lightning jaw clenched. "Vanille. That little rat."

"Like I said, I asked her to watch you." Serah shrugged. "I pay in her chocolate and ice cream. But seriously, you need to tell Fang. It's not fair on you or her. Get it out into the open."

"What if I ruin everything? I always do." Lightning was ashamed of how small her voice sounded. "What if she moves out? I almost ruined us Serah, and we're sisters. Fang doesn't have any reason to stay. If… if she moves out –"

Whack.

"You're being stupid again. Of course she has a reason to stay – you're there. And you won't ruin everything. You might be blunt and silly and stubborn when it comes to things like this, but she's used to that – she's used to you." Serah chuckled. "I think it's a good sign. She's the only one who can put up with your grouchiness except me."

"I am not grouchy."

Serah raised her hand again.

"Maybe I am a little grouchy."

The hand became a fist.

"Fine, I'm a grouchy, neurotic soldier with a cleaning fixation."

Serah lowered her hand. "Yes, you are, but in case you haven't noticed, Fang doesn't mind. In fact, she thinks it's adorable. Why do you think she teases you so much? Honestly, it's like watching a pair of first graders. I'm just waiting for you to start pushing each other and pulling each other's hair."

Now that was something Lightning hadn't considered. She'd always assumed Fang was good at this sort of thing. But how many serious relationships had Fang been in since she and Vanille got back? None. Maybe Fang wasn't any better at this than her. Maybe they were both bumbling around with no idea of what to do. When she thought about it, Fang never teased the others the way she teased her. There was always amusement when she teased the others, but the jokes were always straightforward. With Lightning, there was always a hidden meaning to Fang's comments, a glint of something more in the other woman's eyes. Not to mention Fang had started to mention how much she liked women in uniform. Damn it, she really was stupid.

"And let's not forget that Fang doesn't mind it when you go off to kill things. Heck, she's usually there with you." Serah rolled her eyes and muttered something about idiots coming in matching pairs. "But that's beside the point. Ask yourself: when you're feeling sad, whom do you go to? When you're tired, who looks after you? And when you want to talk about something – anything – whom do you talk to?"

Silence. "You."

"Not anymore, you don't." Serah's smile was a tad watery. "You go to Fang, and that's okay because I want you to be happy."

For what felt like forever, Lightning stared down at the table. So many times, she'd come back from work to find Fang waiting with a kind word, a teasing comment and dinner on the table. Other times, she'd come home, disgusted with herself for not keeping some of the new recruits out of harm's way, and Fang had dragged her out of the house for some sparring to help her cool down. And then there were all the times she'd wandered through her house wondering what to do now that Serah had moved out, only to find Fang draped over the couch or digging through the fridge. The other woman belonged there with Lightning, looked perfect with one of Lightning's shirts on or one of her books opened on her lap.

"I bet Vanille told you about all of that, didn't she?" Lightning refused to believe her voice was trembling.

"She has a vested interest in this, just like I do. We've got a lot in common too, like sisters with rocks for brains." Serah patted Lightning's hand. "And believe it or not, she's practically adopted you into the family already. To quote: 'My sister deserves the best, even if the best happens to be an uptight, cranky soldier who never keeps enough candy in the house."

"Does everyone think I'm uptight and cranky?"

"You almost murdered her for leaving her clothes on the floor." Serah grinned. "But that's not the point. We all want what's best for you, and if you could maybe get around to sharing some of the money the tabloids would pay to cover your wedding then that would be thanks enough." She paused. "I'll take cash or credit, but Vanille wants cash."

"Serah!" Lightning laughed. "Don't even joke about that." She paused and took a sip of her coffee. It was cold but bracing, which was what she needed. "Thanks, I think. I guess… I needed to hear some of that." She'd come a long way if she could admit that.

The younger woman snagged another slice of cake. "Don't worry, you big sisters can't do everything. Little sisters have their place in the world too."

"Oh? I thought you were just here for me to spoil."

"That too." Serah's eyes softened. "It won't be easy, and you'll make mistakes, and sometimes you won't know what to do, but that true for everyone. Snow and I made our fair share of mistakes too. The thing is, it'll be worth it in the end. Just think: is there anyone else you can see next to you for the rest of your life? Is there anyone else you'd rather wake up to in the morning and come home to at night?"

This time, Lightning didn't hesitate. "No."

"Good. Now get cracking. I want some nieces to spoil."

Lightning gaped. "What?"

Serah clasped her hands together. "You heard me. They'd be so cute. They could have your hair and Fang's eyes or maybe the other way around, and when Snow and I have kids, they could all be friends, and we could live next door to each other and –"

Lightning was still trying to wrap her head around the idea of children. "They'll be monsters. Absolute monsters."

"Probably, and Fang will spoil them rotten."

It was hard not to smile at that. "I guess I'll have to be the tough one then." Lightning looked at her sister. "Are all of our talks going to be like this from now on?"

"I hope not." Serah leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Now that we've got all of that out of the way, we can spend the afternoon doing something fun."

"Like what?"

Serah launched into a good-natured rant about some of the children she had to teach. They were lovable kids but with an eye for trouble. Lightning listened to it all with a faint smile on her lips. She felt… lighter now that she'd finally made up her mind. It was only later, after they'd gone shopping – Serah did most of the shopping while Lightning did most of the carrying – that she realised something. She'd never gotten a chance to taste the cake. Serah had eaten all of it while they were talking.

Clever girl.

X X X

Fang tucked her phone back into her pocket. She'd asked – more like begged – Serah to put in a good word for her. She'd tried everything to get Lightning's attention short of declaring her undying love for the soldier on a giant billboard or ambushing her in bed. Both options had their upsides, but she hadn't wanted to scare the other woman off. When it came to love, Lightning could be as skittish as a newborn chocobo.

Instead of a proper message, Serah had sent back a single emoticon: a smiley face. Vanille had seen it and with wide eyes, the red head had ordered Fang to dress sexy, prepare a romantic, home cooked dinner complete with candles and music, and then dashed off to spend the night at Serah and Snow's house. How on earth could all of that come from one smiley face? Sometimes she wondered if maybe Serah and Vanille were related.

"I'm home."

The front door opened then shut, and Fang heard Lightning's footsteps as she shrugged off her coat and wandered into the dining room. The pink haired woman looked deliciously rumpled, her uniform a tad untidy and her hair askew.

"What do you want for dinner, Fang…" Lightning trailed off as she finally noticed everything. A wave of satisfaction rippled through Fang as the other woman's eyes lingered on her before going to the table only to come back to her.

"What is all this?" Lightning asked.

Fang swallowed thickly. According to tradition, she should have dragged the dead carcass of the scariest monster she could find to Lightning's family to prove her worth. But that wouldn't work, not here. Not only would Serah not appreciate a dead monster on her lawn, Lightning would probably take one look at it, scoff, and then go off to try and kill a bigger one. This whole wine and dine thing was something new to Fang, and damn it, why was she just standing there and not saying anything?

"Uh… I thought we could have dinner."

"Oh." Lightning looked around. "Where's Vanille?"

"She has some stuff to do, so it's just us. I hope that's okay."

"It's fine." Lightning pulled out Fang's chair and waited for the other woman to sit before taking her place at the table. "This looks good. What is it?"

Fang grinned. "If you must know, it's…"

X X X

"You do realise, they're going to kill us once they find out," Snow said.

"I'm Lightning's little sister and Vanille is Fang's, so we're fine." Serah smiled at her boyfriend. "It's you and Hope who have to worry, although I notice you're both still watching anyway."

"It's interesting." Hope blushed. "I mean… yeah. Way better than normal television."

"Don't come crying to me then when soldier girl comes gunning for you." Sazh was the only one of the adults not watching the television. Instead, he and Dajh were locked in a game of checkers. To his dismay, the boy seemed to be winning.

"How are we seeing this?" Snow asked. The television had what looked to be a live feed from Lightning's dining room. Despite the danger, he couldn't look away. Fang and Lightning were too cute together

"I may have left a camera in the dining room." Vanille had a bowl of popcorn, which she passed to Hope then Serah. "I've been helping the Guardian Corps work on cameras they can wear on patrol. I left one of my prototypes in the dining room – it's the size of a button."

"I hope that's the only place you left one," Sazh muttered.

"Of course it is. I'm not a pervert." Vanille turned to Serah. "How did Lightning take the tabloid?"

"Like you'd expect." Serah giggled. "I'm glad I didn't show her the rest."

"You mean the story about you and I engaging in a twisted love affair behind Snow's back?" Vanille gave Serah a hug that bordered on lecherous as both Snow and Hope gaped. "Or do you mean the one where all of us got involved in a massive orgy at her house?"

Dajh looked up. "What's an orgy?"

"Nothing." Sazh scowled at Vanille. "Children are present, you know."

"Fine, fine." Vanille waved one hand at Sazh. "And let's not forget the one where Sazh and I are actually secretly married."

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm quite the eligible man."

"Never said you weren't, but I'm not interested in you that way." Vanille gave Dajh a cheeky grin. "Although I'd be happy to have Dajh around." She looked back at the television. "Now, back to –"

Serah reached for the remote and turned off the television. "I think we've seen enough. They'll be fine from here."

"But we still haven't gotten to the best part!" Vanille lobbed a piece of popcorn at the pink haired woman.

"The best part?"

"Well, yeah. As part of the Yun clan's customs, Fang needs to sing Lightning an epic ballad praising her beauty and suitability as a wife."

"You're lying." Serah scowled, but her hand inched back toward the remote.

"Can you risk missing it if I'm not?"

Damn it.

Serah turned the television back on.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

So… this is supposed to be based on Fangrai Forever Prompt #58: The gossip columns have a ball with the growing relationship between world saviours Fang and Lightning. As you can see it kind of took on a life of it's own and spiraled out of control. Oh well.

When I first started thinking about this chapter, I was originally going to have Lightning meet Fang at the coffee shop, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought Serah would be a better choice. In many ways, Lightning has the emotional density of a block of diamond, so she might need a little push to get her going. Unfortunately, she doesn't take to advice very well, but Serah is one of the few people she will actually listen to. I also wanted to write something with a bit more Serah/Lightning in it (I mean Serah/Lightning in a sisterly way!). The relationship between the two of them is something I really like, and it's nice to write something after they've had the chance to rebuild their relationship.

Finally, in my profile you can find links to my blog and deviant art. I've recently put up a post talking about how I approach writing humour, and Redkid11 has made a wonderful comic covering Chapter 12 of Whispers of the Gods. It's called 'The Broken Sword' and I have a link to her deviant art in my profile as well. Check it out!

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	12. Chapter 12

**For The Fans**

Of all the horrible things that Lightning had anticipated in the aftermath of the Cocoon's fall, the fangirls would not have cracked the top ten. But they should have. In fact, after seeing them in action, she was convinced they should be number one. Yes, even above the food riots and lack of proper toilets.

One fangirl wasn't much of problem. Actually, it was kind of flattering to have someone gush over all the awesome things she'd done (and if Lightning was honest with herself, she was pretty awesome, not that she was the sort of person to toot her own horn). After years of slaving away in the Guardian Corps, it was nice to be acknowledged. But once the fangirls started forming groups (Vanille preferred to call them packs)… that was when things started to get ugly.

Much like a pride of lions stirred into a frenzy of berserk bloodlust by a wounded gazelle, the adoration of one fangirl amplified the adoration of all the other fangirls. Polite requests for an autograph or picture quickly turned into a mad scramble for escape when the fangirl hordes whipped themselves into a mad state of adulation. When that happened, autographs and pictures weren't enough. No, they wanted something more – hugs, kisses, even bits of clothing or hair.

Lightning had barely survived her first encounter with a fangirl pack. She'd gone after her second with a valuable weapon – Snow. The big man made for the perfect human shield, and he'd bought her quite a bit of time to investigate this new, frightening phenomenon before being forced to flee on Shiva.

But the packs weren't the end of it. The fangirls had started to organise… to evolve.

Instead of simply roving New Bodhum in large packs, the fangirls had begun to learn, studying her movements and habits. Some of them had even managed to infiltrate the Guardian Corps if the number of fangirls who knew her patrol schedule was any measure. One especially enterprising fangirl had even made it into her office before being subdued by half a dozen burly Guardian Corps officers wielding what had to be at least a hundred cans of pepper spray.

However, Lightning's fangirls weren't the worst.

Not by a long shot.

Fang's were.

The problem was that Fang was just too damn friendly for her own good. Rather than glaring and generally making herself as unpleasant to be around as possible, Fang smiled, smirked, and sauntered about, much to the delight of her adoring (Lightning preferred the term 'obsessed') public.

It made Lightning want to puke – or punch someone. Possibly even both at the same time.

Those girls had no right to talk to Fang like they knew her, no right to get all cosy with the huntress like they belonged at her side. They didn't know how to hunt or how to fight. They couldn't possibly understand the sacrifices that Fang had made. The only one who deserved to be with Fang – the only one who should be with Fang – was Lightning. It was just a pity that she hadn't worked up the courage to come out and say that to the huntress yet.

Stupid Fang! And damn that sexy smirk of hers and that stupid, sexy body! Lightning had rehearsed things a thousand times in her head, but every time Fang looked at her, she could never put two decent words together. Instead, she came up with idiotic things like, "Hey, Fang, have you sharpened your spear today?"

If that wasn't pathetic, Lightning wasn't sure what was and that only made Lightning more nervous. Stupid Fang!

But those damn fangirls had no such problems. They sidled up to Fang, smiling and flirting, and it made Lightning's want to shoot or stab all of them. And things were getting worse. After Vanille and Fang had awakened from crystal stasis, they'd moved in with her. Lightning was sure that she'd finally get the chance to make her intentions toward Fang clear. Vanille certainly wanted her to. The red head had done everything to get them together short of dropping a naked Fang right into Lightning's lap. If things continued the way they were, Lightning might just ask Vanille to do that.

Still, it wasn't Vanille's fault that Lightning had all the romantic acumen of a cactus (and the hair of one, too, a lot of the time).

The fangirls had taken to camping out in the park across the street. They'd tried to camp out on the lawn, but a few well-placed bullets had put a stop to that. Lightning might not be able to throw them in prison for being fangirls, but she could absolutely shoot them for trespassing onto her property.

But wasn't Fang such a dear. Rather than join Lightning in her hobby of glaring horrible death at the fangirls, Fang took some time each day to talk with her fangirls. Sure, Lightning could appreciate the kind of maniacal devotion it took to be a fangirl – if they could only apply that sort of fanaticism to battle, they'd make great soldiers – but Fang should not have been rewarding it by spending time with them. The huntress had even brought some food over when a few of the more hard-core fangirls collapsed from hunger after maintaining a week long vigil at the park.

Of course, Fang's fangirls weren't the only ones at the park. Lightning's fangirls were there too. For the most part, the two groups got along fairly well, but when the questions of who was better came up, things took a turn for the violent. Like two ragtag groups of militia, the opposing fangirls had gathered on opposite ends of the street before engaging in pitched battle in front of their house. It was equal parts hilarious and terrifying. What made it worse was that during the course of the battle, Lightning discovered who was running each fanclub.

Vanille was in charge of Fang's fangirls. Serah was in charge of Lightning's. And to keep the two from trading blows, Lightning had been forced to wade into the middle of the melee to grab the two other women. She'd brought them back into her house and given them what she thought was one of her better lectures. It involved a great deal of glaring, shouting, and at least seventeen threats of dismemberment and death.

Yet Fang hadn't been the least bit bothered by the whole thing. Instead, she'd given both Serah and Vanille a pat on the head before sauntering off to her bedroom, her hips swaying in a way that took all the heat out of Lightning's lecture and dumped it somewhere else. And all Lightning could do was gawp at her like a guppy. Stupid Fang and her stupid, sexy ways!

More recently, a third group had emerged, and despite her previous experiences, Lightning was almost tempted to give these fangirls a chance.

They called themselves the "FLight Shipper Fangirls of Gran Pulse". Apparently, obsessing over the former l'Cie wasn't enough. People had begun to obsess over their relationships as well. There were, much to Lightning's horror, many different groups advocating a host of different possible relationships amongst the former l'Cie and their associates.

One group was convinced that Lightning and Snow were secretly having an affair. Two weeks after Lightning heard about that, their headquarters were burnt to the ground. The Guardian Corps had no suspects, and Lightning had an ironclad alibi. There was even some weird group calling itself the "Neapolitan Shippers" that seemed to think she was romantically involved with ice cream or something. And what was this about a cherry on top?

But as crazy as all of those groups were, and they were crazy, she couldn't bring herself to dislike the FLight Shippers, a group who believed she and Fang were destined for everlasting love and devotion. She hadn't managed to identify their leader yet, but she did know they were fanatically loyal to the idea of their chosen couple. A few of them had even taken to slipping suggestions into her mailbox. Most of those suggestions were in the trash, but she'd kept a few of the others – some of those perverted fangirls had some wonderful ideas.

In the midst of all this chaos, Lightning's patience was fast reaching its end. Every day, Fang's fangirls grew more brazen. Some of them had even taken to inviting Fang over for tea in the park, and Fang had even accepted a few times. Lightning wasn't stupid. Fang was a very, very desirable woman, and other people were perfectly free to pursue her if they wanted. Sure, Lightning would put them in a body bag, but sooner or later, Fang would meet that special someone. And with the way things were going, it wouldn't be Lightning.

All of which explained why Lightning was staring out the window with murder in her eyes.

"Lightning, you really shouldn't sit at the window like that." Serah looked across the dining table at Vanille. They were supposed to be having coffee and exchanging gossip, but it was hard to do that with her older sister doing her best impression of a gorgon over by the window. "Does she do that a lot? Because if she does, I should probably come over more often."

Vanille sipped her coffee. "Sometimes, she's there all day. I don't worry about it too much unless she had her gun blade with her." She pointed at a sign hanging proudly on the wall beside the window. It read: shooting fangirls is a crime. There were a few bullet holes in the sign. "Fang thought it would be a good to put that up, I'm not sure that Lightning agreed."

"I see." Serah looked back at Lightning. "You know, if you can't get the words out, you could always just jump Fang."

"She wouldn't mind." Vanille smirked. "Believe me."

"Oh, shut up." Lightning scowled and glared out the window. Fang was out there having tea with one of her fangirls, and one of those idiots was stroking her arm. Her jaw clenched. Her eyes narrowed. Her blood pressure skyrocketed to a million. "That's it! I've had enough of this!"

Lightning stomped out of the house and headed straight for Fang, a gaggle of her own fangirls trailing after her.

"Oh, hey, Lightning –"

Lightning didn't give her time to say anything else. With a low growl, she yanked Fang up onto her feet and into a kiss that held enough pent up romantic and sexual frustration to set an iceberg on fire. The dark haired woman went totally stiff for a moment before giving a low moan as her knees buckled and her body went weak.

Sometime later – Lightning couldn't give a crap about the time when she was kissing Fang – Lightning pulled away. She glared at all of Fang's fangirls and said the one word they had all feared for months. "Mine."

Then she threw Fang over her shoulder and stalked back toward the house. She didn't even bother to disguise the fact that she was staring at Fang's ass the whole way either.

"You!" Lightning pointed at Serah and Vanille. "Out of the house. Now."

"And me?" Fang asked, still slung over Lightning's shoulder. Lightning wasn't stupid, if Fang didn't want to be there, she could easily have escaped.

Lightning's lips curled into a snarl. "Bedroom. Now."

"Sure. Yours or mine?"

The front door slammed shut. They were alone. And the living room had a very big couch. "Screw the bedroom. We'll start our way here and work our way up."

"Screw the bedroom?" Fang smirked as Lightning tossed her onto the couch and started ripping off her shirt. "Don't you mean, 'screw you?'"

X X X

Outside the house, Vanille and Serah exchanged happy smiles.

"We did it!" Vanille said.

Serah nodded sagely and turned to give the thumbs up to the FLight Shippers in the park. "Success!"

A great cheer went up from the FLight Shippers, and they rushed forward to congratulate their two vice-presidents on their ultimate victory. Their president, however, remained inside the house. After all, it wasn't everyday someone got to have sex with Lightning Farron.

X X X

Years later…

Lightning liked sorting through the mail. It was oddly relaxing. However, things were a little different today. Diana had mail. Who would send her daughter mail? Still, it should be all right. Lightning had made sure that all of their mail passed through the strictest Guardian Corps screening procedures. There were people out there who didn't like the former l'Cie, but there was no way she'd ever let any of them come after her family.

Diana ambled into the room, and her eyes lit up as she saw the letter in Lightning's hands. "My mail arrived!"

Giggling like the little girl she was, Diana tore open the letter. Inside was a shiny card. "Look, mom! It's my FLight Shippers membership card!"

"What?" Lightning did a double take. The fangirls were still around, but she'd made it very clear to them that any attempt to get at her children would be met with torture and death. "How did you get that?"

Averia came into the dining room, drawn by all the giggling. "Oh, you got yours, Diana?" She smirked. "You know, I got mine before you."

"Meanie! You were born first, so of course, you got yours before me."

"Wait!" Lightning held up one hand for quiet. "Tell me again, how do you even know about that club?"

Averia shrugged. "Aunt Serah is a member and so is Aunt Vanille." She paused and pulled out her own membership card. "See the number at the bottom? It tells you when you joined. Aunt Vanille is #0000002 and Aunt Serah is #0000003."

In that moment, Lightning knew where all of the inside information had come from when she and Fang had been dating.

"Fang!" Lightning shouted as she grabbed her coat. "Watch the kids. I need to go out for a second."

When Lightning was gone, Fang walked into the dining room. Her smirk was almost too big to fit onto her face.

"Mommy, does mom know that you run the FLight Shippers club?" Averia asked.

Fang pulled out her member ship card (#0000001) and grinned. "Nope, and if you two like having me around, you won't tell her either."

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This is based on Fangrai Forever Prompt #144: Lightning has to deal with Fang's fangirls.

Every now and then, I get the urge to go off and write something crazy. This sort of chapter is the result. I won't even pretend that this is serious. On the contrary, once I saw the prompt, I knew that I had to do something cracktacular. A chapter with Lightning slowly being driven insane by fangirls was too good to pass up.

And yes, there was a joke about Neapolitan shipping and ice cream in the middle there. I was going to have a bunch of fangirls drool while watching Lightning eat ice cream, but I thought it would be a little too ridiculous. Another idea I discarded was having Lightning try to practice winning Fang over on the unofficial FLight Shipper club produced former l'Cie dating simulator game. But that was just too crazy, even for me (if it isn't actually too crazy for you all, let me know…).

On another note, you've probably noticed me mentioning some short stories that I will be releasing onto Amazon in my author's notes. The first of those is now available (yay!) and you can find a link to it in my profile. It's called The Last Huntress (by L. G Estrella – yes, that is a pseudonym) and here is blurb:

Scarlett is the last of her line – a huntress sworn to kill all monsters.

Rose is a girl searching for the power to take back her homeland.

In the icy forests of the north, on the trail of the only werewolf to escape her, Scarlett will teach Rose what it means to be a huntress. There can be no room for softness in a huntress's heart, no room for weakness. And a huntress must be willing to kill anything – and anyone – that poses a threat to the innocent.

Check it out!

Finally, I'd like to mention the changes to my profile again. In a bid to make things easier for you, I've reformatted it to make it easier for people to find out what's going on with all my stories. There is a fan art section at the end of it, and I'd like to take the time mention the great picture of Lighting and Diana that flightshep has drawn. You can find a link to it in the aforementioned section of my profile.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	13. Chapter 13

"**Deeper" Meaning **

Lightning lay on the couch, her head on Fang's lap. She was supposed to be doing some paperwork. But after a long week of patrols and training, paperwork was the last thing on her mind. Instead, she was content to drowse off with Fang's lap for a pillow while the other woman watched the afternoon news.

"I've always liked your hair." Fang ran her fingers through Lightning's hair before letting her fingertips glide along the soft plane of Lightning's cheek. She ended with a gentle but firm stroke of Lightning's collarbone, her index finger lingering on the mark she'd left there. "Although I've always wondered what you'd look like with pigtails."

"Don't even think about it." Lightning shifted slightly to press a kiss to Fang's belly. "I love you, but if you put my hair into pigtails, I will kill you." She opened her eyes. "Say, do we have any ice cream left in the fridge? I could use some sugar after the week I've had."

"We do, but we're out of chocolate."

Lightning made a disgusted sound. "Please tell me that you're joking."

"Nope." Fang returned to stroking Lightning's hair. "Not joking."

"Damn it." Lightning sat up and scowled. "We need to go out and get some."

"I really don't understand why you like chocolate ice cream so much." Fang's lips twitched up into a mischievous smile. "But I guess it makes sense."

Lightning knew that look. Whatever came out of Fang's mouth next would either be unbridled genius or complete stupidity. Perhaps even a combination of both. "Explain."

"Well, it's something Vanille joked about once." Fang chuckled. The red head shared the house with them, but lately, she'd been making noises about moving out. Apparently, she'd walked in on them making out on the couch one too many times. Then there had been the times she'd caught them going at in the laundry room, not to mention the – she grinned. Good times. Great times. "Anyway, Vanille said that I'm like chocolate ice cream."

"You're like chocolate ice cream? Really?"

"That's what she said, and you would be strawberry ice cream." Fang pointed at Lightning's hair. "Get it?"

"And let me guess, Vanille is vanilla because of her name." Lightning rolled her eyes. Trust Vanille to come up with something like that. "So what does that make Serah?"

"Strawberry with the cherry on top."

"Vanille has way too much time on her hands. And that still doesn't explain what makes you chocolate although you do have dark hair so…"

"Look, it makes perfect sense." Fang waggled her eyebrows. "After all, we've all seen the way you go at your chocolate ice cream. You just get in there and dig in." She leaned in close, lips almost touching Lightning's. "The way you just go after that chocolate ice cream and eat –"

"Do not finish that sentence."

For someone so passionate in bed, Lightning was oddly prudish when it came to talking about it. Naturally, that only made Fang more eager to poke at her girlfriend. An angry Lightning could be wonderfully assertive, and Fang didn't mind a bruise or two if it came from Lightning having her wicked way with her in the most delightful sense. "Come on, Lightning. You know I'm right. And you've seen how much I like strawberry ice cream." She grinned. "You don't think it's a bit strange that I like strawberry so much? Sure, strawberry ice cream doesn't taste as nice as –"

"Stop talking."

"You said that last night too." Fang grinned. "And I bet I can make you say that again tonight."

Lightning breathed a sigh of relief as the front door swung open with a bang bringing an end to Fang's teasing. She loved the other woman, but she could do without some of the teasing. Sometimes, she thought Fang did it just to get her riled up. A few moments passed, sounds coming from the kitchen first, before a familiar voice rang out.

"We're back!" Vanille shouted. "Please tell me you aren't naked." The red head stuck her head around the corner into the living room and let out the breath she'd been holding. "Phew, I was worried I was going to walk in on you guys again."

"Really? They're that bad?" Serah smiled, pushing Vanille into the living room.

"I would tell them to get a room, but they have one already. The problem is, they don't use it."

"That's funny." Serah grinned at Lightning. "Because I distinctly remember a certain someone complaining when she saw me and Snow making out. It looks like that certain someone should take some of her own advice." She shook her head. "You've probably corrupted poor Vanille here with your sexual escapades."

"I do not have sexual escapades." Lightning ground the words out. Okay, maybe she did, but she wasn't about to let her sister know that.

"You so do." Vanille rolled her eyes. "And that's fine. I just wished you wouldn't have them right in the open where I can see them. Sure, you and Fang are both good looking but…" She put on a thoughtful look. "I really don't need to see, well, unless you ask me to join in, then maybe…"

"Vanille!" Lightning lobbed a couch cushion at her.

"Yeah, yeah. I was joking, get over it." Vanille dodged the couch cushion. "Anyway, Serah and I have finished shopping, and we were thinking of getting some ice cream from that fancy store near the supermarket. Do you guys want to come?"

Lightning looked at Vanille. The little Dia could be even worse than Fang, but ice cream did sound good. "Fine, but I'm driving." She headed for the door. "Come on."

As she opened the front door, she could hear Serah talking to Vanille and Fang in what had to be the fakest stage whisper ever.

"She's always been like this. When we were young, she used to horde her ice cream like she was afraid someone would steal it. And you know what? She's only ever gotten chocolate or strawberry. Weird, huh?"

"Hear that, Lightning?" Fang shouted. "It looks like we were meant to be. Either that or you and your sister have some explaining to do."

"Gah!"

It was only Fang's quick reflexes that let her catch the velocycle keys before they could get her in the face.

"I love you too, snuggle bunny." Fang grinned at the two younger women. "Looks like I'll be driving today."

"I guess." Serah shrugged. "But what does ice cream have to do with what you just said?"

Vanille giggled. "I'll tell you later."

X X X

Lightning stared at the sign hanging above the counter of the ice cream store in absolute horror. This could not be real. This had to be some kind of nightmare. Fang was going to kill her with teasing.

"Well, would you look at that?" Fang draped one arm around Lightning's shoulder and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I've always wanted to eat a strawberry blonde."

Lightning knew that her face was on fire, but there was nothing she could do about it. What kind of ice cream shop had a signature scoop called the "strawberry blonde?" The universe was out to get her. "Fang…"

"What?" Fang pressed a quick kiss to Lightning's ear. "It's true, isn't it? In fact, unless I'm mistaken, I get to do it practically every night."

With a growl, Lightning shoved Fang away.

"Is there a problem, you two?" Serah tapped her foot on the ground and then turned back to the counter. "Stop mucking around, so we can order." She tilted her head to one side. "Hey, look at that!" She pointed at the strawberry blonde ice cream. "It's like you, Lightning."

Lightning's voice held the enthusiasm of a thousand children sentenced to an eternity of homework. "Yay, isn't that wonderful? Let's just order."

But ordering didn't make things better. If anything, it made them worse. After what Fang had told her about ice cream flavours, Lightning was struggling very hard to keep her mind out of the gutter. Fang had ordered a strawberry blonde with obvious relish, giving Lightning a searing look as she took her first lick of the sugary treat. In the meantime, Serah had ordered some vanilla ice cream while Vanille… Vanille had opted for a strawberry blonde with a cherry on top. Lightning wasn't sure whether to strangle the red head or warn Snow that he had competition. She couldn't even work out who would be worse to have as an in-law, Snow or Vanille.

"So, how is your ice cream?" Serah smiled. "Mine is delicious." The last word was almost a moan.

Lightning's reply died in her mouth as she watched her sister feast on the vanilla ice cream. Now that Fang had told her that Vanille was vanilla, she had no way of stopping her mind from imagining things it really didn't want to. The way her sister ran her tongue around the vanilla ice cream, the way it smudged around her lips before being brushed aside by another movement of her tongue. Dear Maker, the images were already forming in her mind: Serah pinning Vanille to the bed, the red head whimpering softly as Serah peeled off one article of clothing after another, her eyes alight with mischief, before she bent to kiss her way down Vanille stomach right down the juncture of her thighs where she lowered her head to lap at –

"How do you eat your ice cream?"

Serah's next question broke Lightning out of what was simultaneous one of the hottest and most disturbing fantasies she'd ever had. She did not want to know what Serah and Vanille would look like tangled up in bed. But watching Serah eat her vanilla ice cream with such obvious relish had Lightning's mind back in the gutter: Vanille, back arched, Serah holding her firmly in place –

"Well," Fang said, giving Lightning a knowing look. She knew exactly what was going through the pink haired woman's mind. Naughty. Eyes twinkling, she held Lightning's gaze. "I like to start from the top." Her tongue darted out to caress the top of the ice cream. Lightning forgot how to breathe. "And then I like to work my way down, bit by bit."

Lightning's mind was no longer in the gutter – it was the gutter. She knew exactly how much Lightning liked to start at the top. And how much she liked to take the scenic route. Damn, Lightning loved it when Fang took her time.

"And sometimes I like to bite." Lightning's mouth went dry as Fang took a small bite out of her ice cream before smoothing over the missing section with her tongue. Lightning had a mark on her collarbone from something just like that. "But I hate to rush. When it comes to strawberry, you just have to savour it." She smirked. "I love the way it tastes in my mouth, the way it starts off all tense and then just comes apart and melts all over my tongue. It has such a unique… taste."

Even Serah couldn't miss the blatant desire in Fang's voice. The younger Farron twitched and eyed her sister and Fang warily. "Please tell me that you're talking about the ice cream."

"Of course I am." Fang's eyes never left Lightning's as her tongue swirled gracefully over the strawberry ice cream. "What else would I have been talking about?"

"See what I have to put up with?" Vanille rolled her eyes at Serah and took a big, hearty bite out of her ice cream. "They're like rabbits, I tell you."

Any nasty reply that Lightning had prepared vanished. Her traitorous mind was already back at work constructing another image: Vanille in charge this time, Serah pushed back, Vanille smirking as she grabbed hold of Serah's thighs, pulled them apart and –

"Vanille, stop eating that ice cream!" The words were out of Lightning's mouth before she could stop them.

"What?" Vanille asked before a sudden change came over her. Lightning winced. Uh oh. Vanille knew that she knew. "Oh, this?" Vanille's eyes twinkled. "But I love strawberry ice cream with a cherry on top. It's like normal strawberry but better." She lifted her ice cream to her lips. "I could eat it all night long."

"Vanille!"

Lightning's shout was enough to make Serah drop her ice cream, but Vanille was there to save it. Grinning at Lightning, she held the ice cream out to Serah. "Say ah."

Watching Vanille feed Serah vanilla ice cream brought a twitch to Lightning's eye. Serah looked at her – Maker, Lightning thought, there was vanilla ice cream smeared all over her lips since Vanille had been quite messy and…

"Are you okay?" Serah asked. "You look like you're having a stroke."

"Do you love Snow?"

"What are you talking about? Of course I love him." Serah reached over to feel Lightning's forehead. "Are you sure you're okay? You're not making a lot of sense, and you've worked a lot of hours this week."

"Stop eating that ice cream!"

"Okay, now I'm really worried." Serah obediently opened her mouth as Vanille lifted the vanilla ice cream to her lips. A low moan left her. It was so, so good. "It's just ice cream."

"It's – it's!" Lightning sagged. "Fine. I guess it is just ice cream."

Fang snatched Lightning's chocolate ice cream out of her hands and raised it to Lightning's lips. "I can't believe Vanille is the one feeding Serah. Aren't we supposed to be the ones going out?" She smirked. "Now, come on, eat up. I know how much you love the taste of chocolate."

Cheeks flushed, Lightning found herself opening her mouth. The taste of the chocolate ice cream on her tongue was sinfully good. For a moment, her mind was somewhere else: Fang spread out before her, body slick with sweat as Lightning lifted her up by her hips to take a nice, long taste of –

"See, I knew you'd like it." Fang's gaze was hot. "We could even have some more when we get home."

X X X

"You are a terrible human being." Lightning had her back to Fang as she stomped through the kitchen.

"But you love me anyway."

Lightning's reply was a growl, but then Fang's arms were around her, holding her firmly in place.

"I'm sorry if the teasing got out of hand. You know I was only trying to have a bit of fun." Fang pressed her face into Lightning's hair, and the pink haired woman felt her anger fade. "I only do it because you're so beautiful when you're mad… and so frisky too."

Lightning laughed and shoved Fang away. "Pervert."

"Only for you." Fang ducked under Lightning's lazy punch and opened the fridge. "Anyway, we've got the house to ourselves for the weekend."

"I still don't know how I feel about Vanille spending the weekend with Serah. I know they're friends, and I know that Serah can get lonely sometimes when Snow is out helping an expedition, but the way Vanille ate that ice cream –" Lightning clamped down on her mind before it could give her another slow motion replay of what things might look like between Vanille and Serah. Maybe Fang was right, maybe she did think about Serah too much?

"It was ice cream; you're reading too much into it." Fang reached into the fridge and pulled out her prize. "I had Vanille pick this up for me while she and Serah were out shopping." She gestured at the tub of chocolate ice cream. "I know how you get when you don't have any chocolate ice cream to eat." She grinned and lifted something off the counter. "And look, we even have chocolate sauce."

In years gone by, Lightning would still have been ticked off about all the teasing. Her relationship with Fang had taught her a few things about letting things go. With a speed equalled only by her namesake, Lightning shoved the ice cream back into the fridge and hoisted Fang up onto the kitchen counter. Fang moaned as Lightning grabbed hold of the bottle of chocolate sauce and got to work on mixing her two favourite flavours: Fang and chocolate.

Neither of them heard the front door open.

"Don't mind me," Serah shouted. "I'm just getting the tub of vanilla ice cream I bought from the supermarket. I was supposed to get it after we went out for ice cream, but I forgot and – ah!"

Fang and Lightning jerked apart. Somehow, Fang ended up underneath Lightning as the pink haired woman struggled to protect her girlfriend's modesty. Chocolate sauce was everywhere.

Near the door of the kitchen, Serah slapped one hand over her face. "Ah!" Groping blindly for the door, all she did was grab hold of Vanille's chest as the red head walked into the kitchen. "Ah!"

For Lightning, seeing her sister groping Vanille was like the fulfilment of every twisted fantasy she'd had over the past few hours. "Ah!"

And then there was Vanille. Perhaps she had considered what things might be like with Serah – they may even have almost kissed a few times when they'd gotten really, really drunk – but that was neither here nor there. But the hand on her chest was most definitely there. "Ah!"

As always, it was Fang who took charge. Grinning, she grabbed her sari and wrapped it around herself as she pushed Serah and Vanille out of the kitchen. "You two, out!" She looked back at Lightning. "And you…" She dropped the sari. "Get me back on that counter and finish what you started."

A few minutes later, with their younger siblings safely back outside and most likely scarred for life, it was Fang who was screaming.

"Ah!"

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This is based off Fanragi Forever Prompt #167: Fang and Lightning (and others, if you wish) go out for some ice cream. Their local creamery has a signature scoop known as "Our Strawberry Blonde." Innuendos ensue.

I am a bad person. I had this great plan of how I would spend tonight working on one of my more serious stories (Wasteland, I'm looking at you), but then I wandered over to the Fangrai Forever page and saw this prompt. My plan went out the window, and I got this hammered out (drafts and all) in about two hours. In case it isn't obvious, I've always been a fan of the ice cream joke, and this prompt was an excuse to go all in on it. I've also been on something of a productive streak, so I thought I'd take advantage of it while the going is good.

It also occurs to me as I write this that I do seem to have quite a lot of Serah/Vanille subtext here (okay fine, it's not subtext, it's more like bold text). It's not that I don't support Serah/Snow as a couple. I do. However, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if Vanille had met Serah first. Oh well. I'll just have to fight off the urge to imagine what might have been. And speaking of that, Lightning is a bit of a pervert in this chapter. The chance to make another jab at her occasionally overly deep feelings about her sister was too good to pass up. Like I said, I'm a bad person.

If you want to know where I'm up to with updates on my other stories, check out my profile. You can also find a link there to "The Last Huntress," a short story that I've got up on Amazon. It's 17,000 words long and if you enjoyed Whispers of the Gods, you are likely to enjoy it as well. Check it out – you won't regret it. If you're worried about not owning a kindle, don't be. There is, quite literally, a free Amazon app for that which can turn basically anything (e.g., PC, mac, ipad, phone, etc.) into a kindle. There's a link to it in my profile.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	14. Chapter 14

**Awkward Fantasy XIII-Something**

Contrary to popular opinion, Lightning didn't actually mind sharing her house with Fang and Vanille that much. Ever since Serah had moved in with Snow, her house had been far too large and far, far too quiet. All of that time alone in the silence had given her too much time to think, and her thoughts had rarely been pleasant. Fang and Vanille, however, had brought the house back to life. As much as she complained about it, Lightning liked coming back to a house bustling with activity even if some of the things her two housemates got up to beggared belief.

But one thing she'd learned to be especially wary of was Vanille's laughter. The red head had at least three different kind of laughter, and each required a different response.

#1 The Giggle. The giggle was usually a sign of impending mischief, especially if Serah was around. Whenever Lightning heard it, she knew that something was about to happen, probably something that would make her want to strangle Vanille. The last time she'd heard it, Vanille had been plotting with Serah to take Lightning out shopping for clothes. Apparently, Lightning was the ultimate dress up doll – complete with glare and functioning gun blade.

#2 The Chuckle. The chuckle was the least threatening kind of laughter. It normally came out when Vanille was genuinely amused by something; for example, when she was watching Lightning and Fang argue about Fang's habit of drinking milk out of the bottle, or when she was watching Lightning and Fang bicker over whose turn it was to take out the garbage, or when she was watching Lightning and Fang fight over who should be in charge of the television remote. Actually, now that Lightning thought about it, Vanille seemed to spend most of her time just chuckling at the two of them.

#3 The Cackle. The cackle was the most dangerous of all of Vanille's laughs. It was a harbinger of doom. When Vanille cackled, it meant that she was either going to do – or was already engaged in – something evil. Lightning didn't say that lightly, but there was no arguing with facts. The last time that Vanille had cackled, she'd been in the middle of explaining what Lightning should do to win Fang's affection. Her explanation had been extremely graphic and had come complete with diagrams, videos, and two life-sized dummies that bore a disturbing resemblance to Lightning and Fang. With Serah sitting there watching the whole debacle, Lightning had been convinced that things couldn't get any worse – and then Serah had cut in to provide her own, equally graphic, suggestions.

So when Lightning got home to find Vanille cackling in front of her laptop in the living room, she was confronted by a horrible choice: turn around and flee, leaving the house to suffer through Vanille's machinations; or confront the red head and hope that a vicious glare would be enough to put a stop to things. Lightning quite like her house, so she was forced to go with the latter.

Lightning struck her most threatening pose and glared. The mug of coffee next to Vanille froze solid. "Vanille," she barked. "What are you cackling about?"

Vanille's smile was bright enough to melt the frozen coffee. "Oh, I was just reading something." Sparkle. Sparkle.

"Really?" Lightning had to force herself to hold her ground. Vanille's smile had morphed into an evil grin, the likes of which Lightning had only ever seen in her worst nightmares. Her hand twitched. Surely, Fang wouldn't mind if she drew her gun blade on Vanille. The huntress would understand. Vanille was evil.

"Yep." Vanille looked at the computer screen and then back at Lightning. To Lightning's horror, Vanille seemed to be sizing her up, her green eyes lingering on Lightning's chest. "It's quite interesting."

"What are you reading?" Lightning fought the urge to cover her chest. Vanille did not just molest her with her eyes. Wait… she shouldn't have asked. Vanille might tell her.

"A story." Vanille cackled and with surprising strength, hauled Lightning onto the couch beside her. "Why don't I read you a bit of it?"

Lightning tried to stand up, but Vanille's grip was like iron. "Uh… sure." She reached for her gun blade, but the weapon was gone. Somehow, Vanille had disarmed her without her noticing.

Vanille took a deep breathing and stared deep into Lightning's eyes. "Fang pushed Lightning against the wall, her mouth hot and needy against the slender, ivory column of the soldier's throat. Lightning moaned, vainly trying to put distance between them, but the pleasure was too much, robbing her of her strength as the huntress went swiftly to work, her agile hands gliding down Lightning's stomach before dipping lower to tease the moist, heated flesh between her –"

"What?" Lightning screeched. It had taken her a few seconds to actually register what Vanille was saying, but when she did, she wasn't sure whether she should yell, blush, or beat Vanille's head in with her laptop. "What did you just say?"

"Well, if you didn't hear me: Fang pushed Lightning against the wall, her mouth hot and needy –"

"Don't say it again!" Lightning snatched the laptop away from Vanille. Barely aware of what she was doing, she skimmed through the story, her eyes steadily widening as she encountered a few… interesting sentences.

"Oh, do you like that bit?" Vanille nodded cheerfully. "I like that bit too. But I think this part is better." She pointed at a passage further down the screen. "And then Lightning moaned, back arched as she gave into the wanton carnality of Fang's molten desire for her sweet, untainted, womanly centre – a centre that Fang would now claim for her own." Vanille tilted her head to one side. "It's a bit wordy, but I think it's pretty poetic."

"It's crazy!" Lightning lurched to her feet, ready to smash the offending laptop, but Vanille was too fast. In the blink of an eye, the red head had the laptop clutched against her chest.

"No breaking my laptop! And it's not crazy – it's fan fiction."

Lightning eyed the laptop. Short of breaking both of Vanille's arms (always an option) there was no way she could get to it. "Fan fiction?"

"Uh huh." Vanille backed away, putting the coffee table between the two of them. "See, we're all famous, and apart from making movies about us, people like to write stories too." She pointed to a logo at the top of the screen. "See, there's a whole website about us. And you and Fang are like the most popular pairing ever. People totally ship FLight." Vanille struck a pose. "Time to get aboard, because the FLight train is about to leave the station. Choo choo!"

Temporarily ignoring Vanille's horrible attempts to mimic a steam engine, Lightning chose to focus on something more pressing. "FLight?"

"Yeah, Fang plus Lightning equals FLight. Some people call it Fangrai, but I have no idea where that comes from." Vanille grinned. "Anyway, you two are the most popular romantic pairing, and there's loads of smut fics about you two as well. Some of them are really good."

"Smut… fics?" Lightning fell back onto the couch. Had she fallen into some kind of bizarre parallel universe? And what did Vanille mean about some of those stories being good?

"Yeah, those are stories where you and Fang totally get it on. The one I showed you earlier was just one of them. Here, take a look at this one."

Like a zombie, Lightning found herself reading through what seemed like a badly written porn story about her and Fang. And much like watching a train wreck unfold, it was impossible to look away from, no matter how much she wanted to. Dimly, she registered the name of the author, IceCreamInTheMiddle, and made a mental note to find and kill them. Painfully.

"_Oh no you don't," Fang drawled. "You've made me wait long enough."_

_Lightning whimpered and tried to pull the torn halves of her shirt back together. "Fang… wait"_

_The huntress smirked and crossed the gap between them, her emerald eyes aflame with desire and lust. She'd been denied long enough. "Not this time, Lightning."_

_With several sure, swift movements, Fang stripped the soldier out of her clothes. "So fierce in battle, Lightning, but so quiet in bed. I'll have to change that." Fang pushed the soldier back onto the bed and spread her legs. "I'm going to make you scream."_

_And Lightning did. Over and over again as the huntress had her wicked, sinful way with her, introducing her innocent, untouched body to a seemingly endless array of dark, forbidden pleasures. Lightning's cries rose as she crested her peak over and over, a ragged wail of surrender and release that built into a symphonic crescendo, an avalanche of unadulterated bliss that washed away any sense of responsibility or guilt as her whole world was reduced to a shining, blazing orb of climactic, Fang-induced pleasure._

"_Yes, Fang," Lightning wailed. "Oh yes, do me harder! Uh… oh…. Ghahaajkhfhkjafgj!"_

Vanille must have seen the look on Lightning's face – and sensed the aura of sheer, unbridled rage – because she leapt away, laptop help protectively against her. "Don't even think about it! If you break my laptop I'll… I'll tell Fang you were picking on me, and I'll tell Serah too! I'll tell Serah you were totally wailing on me for no reason!"

Lightning got to her feet. Her fists clenched. "And this is all over the internet? This… this crap?"

"It's not crap!" Vanille sighed. "It's really romantic the way you let Fang have her way with you." She took a few steps back. "And you know, Fang could totally rock your world if you let her."

Lightning twitched. Even if she did want Fang to 'totally rock her world,' she did not want to hear about Fang's sex life from Vanille. No, Lightning would have preferred to be Fang's sex life. Unfortunately, courage in battle did not equate to courage in love, and her current progress with the huntress in a romantic sense could be summed up quite accurately using only a single word: zero. Or two: absolutely zero.

"How can you read that stuff, Vanille?"

"Well, I kind of read everything else in the house and… I love Fang, Lightning, and I think you'd be good together. I'm just looking out for my own interests here since if Fang is happy then I'm happy too."

"But those stories…" Lightning shuddered. Badly written pornography or not, some of those sentences were already stuck in her head.

"And I'll be honest with you, Lightning. You are kind of hot." Vanille giggled. "There's even stories where the two of us get together."

"Oh, good grief."

"And stories where Fang and I get together, and even Serah and I."

"Wouldn't that be weird?"

"Maybe, but then again, there are stories where you and Serah get it on."

"Please, stop talking."

"And then there are the stories where you, me, and Fang get it on. Oh, and there are also stories where you, me, Fang, and Serah get together." She shrugged. "Those are pretty cool."

"You did not just say that." Lightning was going to start sleeping with her door locked and barricaded shut.

"Yes, I did." Vanille cackled and hurried out of the room. "You really should read a few more, you might find some that you like."

Lightning scowled. "As if that would happen."

X X X

Later in the evening, Lightning found herself trawling through fan fiction. Despite what she'd said to Vanille, she couldn't help but be a bit curious. And if she was being completely honest, she was so desperate for help winning Fang over that she'd take whatever advice she could get – even advice that seemed to have been written by a bunch of hormone soaked teenagers.

_Lightning watched Fang out of the corner of one eye. Each movement of the huntress's lithe, athletic body was like a raw wound. She wanted to run over there, pin Fang against the wall, and have her – have her hard and fast and without restraint. But she couldn't. Fang wasn't hers. Not yet. _

_In the end, she couldn't take it anymore. Eyes flashing, she shoved Fang against the wall. The huntress's eyes widened in surprise before she surrendered, parting her legs as Lightning knelt down and –_

Lightning gulped. She'd be lying if she said she'd never thought of doing some of those things. But not all of the stories were like that. Some of them were humorous. Some were angst-ridden. And some were so sweet her teeth had begun to ache. The worst offender was an author called ThunderSister.

"_I love you, Fang," Lightning whispered, cupping the other woman's cheeks with supreme affection as her eyes shone with unsurpassed love and affection._

"_I love you more, Lightning," Fang replied. Her lips curved up into a shy smile as her hands came to a rest on Lightning's hips._

"_Don't be silly. There's no way you could possibly love me more than I love you." Lightning giggled and pressed a chaste kiss to Fang's lips before pulling away. "My love for you is as vast and boundless as the ocean."_

_Fang laughed softly and reached up to catch Lightning's hands in hers. Gently, she kissed the pink haired woman's knuckles. "That's where you're wrong, strawberry of my heart. For my love for you is like the sky, and the sky is bigger than the ocean. No matter how large the ocean, there will always be a shore, but the sky has no end."_

_Lightning smiled. "You always did have a way with words, Fang." _

"Didn't know you were into this sort of thing."

"Gah!" Lightning would have fallen out of her chair if it weren't for Fang's quick hands.

Easing Lightning back into a sitting position, Fang grabbed the laptop. "I never thought you'd go for the sugary stuff." She skimmed over the story as Lightning tried to will herself invisible. "But I don't know why you think you need to read this stuff when you could easily live it."

"What?" Lightning looked up, heart pounding.

"You're not exactly subtle, Lightning. And even if you were, Serah and Vanille aren't. I think your sister's exact words were 'I demand you rock my sister's world, Fang.' And Vanille said something along the lines of 'Just jump her already, but make sure I'm out of the house first.'"

"Uh…" Lightning was speechless.

"Look, I know it's a bit late, but I haven't had dinner yet. How about we drive down to the convenience store and get something?"

"Uh…

"Come on." Fang tugged Lightning to her feet. "Let's go."

X X X

Vanille watched Lightning and Fang walk out hand in hand. Success! Smiling, she went back to her computer just in time to see a little alert pop up.

"Cool, another review!" Vanille opened the message and scowled. "Not that stupid ThunderSister again! What does she have against smut?" She began to type furiously. "As if that saccharine crap she writes is any better!"

In another house, Serah banged one hand down on her desk. That stupid IceCreamInTheMiddle was putting out more smut again. As if her sister would ever let Fang take charge! Besides, everyone knew fluff was the way to go!

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This chapter was based on Fangrai Forever Prompt #175: Lightning comes home one day and sees Vanille glued to the computer screen. Why is she giggling? And what's fanfiction?

I kind of had to do this prompt after seeing it. It's the kind of thing that makes me chuckle, and it fits in with my recent run of humour-oriented chapters (I just finished the first draft of the next chapter of _Wasteland_, so this was a bit of a change in tone).

I hope that I didn't offend anyone with this chapter. I have no problems with smut or fluff (the latter being extremely obvious from my own stories and the former from my flirtations with the more raunchy side of storytelling). Instead, Lightning's reaction is based on the common response most people have when they first come across fan fiction. Namely, how on earth is there so much smut? To someone with Lightning's, ahem, delicate sensibilities, it must have come as quite a shock.

In case it isn't clear from the ending, Vanille is IceCreamInTheMiddle and Serah is ThunderSister. Vanille's name comes from the fact that she is (in the ice cream scheme of things) vanilla, and in a Neapolitan ice cream, vanilla is always in the middle. Serah's name comes from the fact that Farron in Gaelic means Thunder. Hence, ThunderSister is a reference to her last name and the fact that she is Lightning's sister. Yes, these puns are a bit lame, but please indulge me – I'm easily amused. And yes, this means that Vanille writes smut and Serah writes fluff – about people they know.

As for the content of the fan fics that Lightning reads, I went out of my way to go a bit over the top. Vanille's passage (sweet Maker that's a bad unintentional pun) is the best example for this. Sex is many things, but I doubt that terribly many people are led to let loose "a ragged wail of surrender and release that built into a symphonic crescendo, an avalanche of unadulterated bliss that washed away any sense of responsibility or guilt as her whole world was reduced to a shining, blazing orb of climactic, Fang-induced pleasure." Despite being the one who wrote this, I can't help but imagine something quite bizarre; namely, Lightning wailing like a banshee while an avalanche thunders down on her and Fang with an orchestra playing the background and a strobe light flashing in their eyes. Yes, that is quite a disturbing image. Serah's little scene is there as homage to one of the greatest moments in cinematic history: Padme and Anakin's (from Star Wars) bizarre argument as to who loves whom more.

If you want to know where I am with my other stories, you can check my profile. You can also find a link there to the "Last Huntress" an original short story that I now have up on Amazon (you can also find a link to a preview of it in my profile as well). I've also added a link to a preview of "The Gunslinger and the Necromancer," my second original short story. If you like Westerns with a paranormal slant (or if you liked Stetons and fal'Cie), you're in for a treat. In case you're curious, I've included the blurb below:

When the Church needs someone to send the denizens of Hell back to where they belong, they go looking for Lizzy Stanton.

As gunslingers go, Lizzy's right up there with the best of them. No matter what kind of evil she's up against, she knows exactly how to handle things – put a holy bullet right between the eyes. But when she takes a job to go after a necromancer over in Pine Creek, she might just have bitten off more than she can chew.

With zombies, demons, and one tricky necromancer to worry about, Lizzy's going to have to be real quick on the trigger. In the gunfight between good and evil, she's the gunslinger who always delivers.

Finally, unless I'm mistaken, this prompt came from someone who read one of my previous chapters. If you have an idea you'd like to see tackled in this story, your best bet is to either include it in your review, message me, or suggest it to the good folks over at Fangrai Forever. Vanille's little dig about Fangrai is a reference to the fact that Fangrai is actually just a variation of FLight (in Japanese, Lightning's name is pronounced Raito).

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	15. Chapter 15

**The Ultimate Weapon**

It wasn't everyday that Fang got to spend lunch with Serah Farron, but maybe she should do something to change that. One glance was all it took to know that Serah and Lightning were sisters, but the younger of the two was different in so many ways.

Lightning was quiet for the most part and reserved. Fang knew she felt things so keenly, but Lightning was always careful to hide those emotions away. It had taken a long time for Fang to earn Lightning's trust, and she cherished every small smile or tender touch that Lightning gave her. The scarcity of such things only made them more precious.

But Serah was warm and open. If she was angry with someone, then she had no qualms about making her displeasure known. During Fang's courtship of Lightning, she had found herself on the receiving end of Serah's ire more than once. Even the smallest mistake when it came to handling Lightning's affections was enough to send Serah into a protective fury. The younger Farron might be small, but Fang's jaw was all too familiar with the knuckles of Serah's right hand. It seemed that the sisters shared more than their looks – they had the same knack for cracking jaws too.

However, now that Fang had successfully proven her affections from the older Farron, she and Serah were on much better terms. It was a good thing too. Lightning was overworking herself again, and Fang could use some advice from the only person in the world capable of bossing around Lightning Farron.

It didn't hurt Fang's cause that she'd invited Serah to one of the better cafes in New Bodhum, one renowned for the quality of its cake and coffee. Of course, Vanille had decided to tag along. Any mention of sugar was sure to pique the red head's interest. The thought of getting Fang to pay for it all probably helped too.

"So, let me get this straight." Fang pursed her lips. "All you need to do to get Lightning to give in is pout." This had to be some kind of joke. There was no way her adorably grumpy soldier would give in to a mere pout.

Serah took a long sip of her vanilla milkshake. "Pretty much. Okay, it doesn't work all the time. I mean it didn't work when I dated Snow, but most of the time she caves in less than a minute. It's actually kind of cool." She grinned. "Last week, I even got her to buy me ice cream. I didn't even want ice cream that much, I was only curious to know if it would work."

"You're an evil little thing, aren't you?" Fang reached over to ruffle Serah's hair. The younger woman hated it, especially since the difference in reach made it impossible for her to ruffle Fang's hair in return. "But you're lucky that Lightning is a big softie inside. You won't catch me falling for that sort of thing."

"Oh really?" Vanille plucked the cherry off her strawberry sundae. "Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I am." Fang gave them both her most confident smile. "The Yun are masters of control. There is nothing – and no one – who can get the better of me when it comes to a contest of wills."

Serah and Vanille shared a look. It's meaning was clear: Fang was a chump.

"Fang." Vanille gave her older sister the most pathetic look imaginable as she clasped her hands together and pouted. Her green eyes were wide and innocent, and her lower lip trembled sweetly. "I'm really sorry, but I forgot my wallet today. Do you think you could pay for my lunch?"

"Uh… sure." Fang reached for her wallet to see if she had enough money. Only Serah's giggle gave the game away. The gears in her mind started to turn. "Wait! I saw your wallet earlier. You used it to buy a bottle of cola on the way here."

Vanille gave one of Fang's cheeks a playful squeeze. "Now, who's a big a softie?" She smirked and helped herself to a slice of Fang's cake. The huntress tried to protest only to fall silent as Vanille levelled another pout at her. "See? You're just as bad as Lightning is." She fluttered her eyelashes. "Please, Fang, can you buy me some candy?"

"Gah." Fang covered her eyes with one hand. "Can you stop doing that? And don't ask me to buy you candy. I know you've got a sweet tooth, but you make me sound like some kind of pervert."

"But you are a pervert. Remember last week? I spent an hour looking for the chocolate sauce only to find in your room. I don't even want to know what you and Lightning were doing with it."

Serah waggled her eyebrows. "I can guess. Lightning always has liked chocolate, and chocolate flavoured Fang does sound nice."

"Quiet you." Fang jabbed one finger at Serah. "Or do I have to worry about you sneaking into my and Lightning's bed?"

"As if she'd have to sneak in," Vanille muttered. "Get Lightning drunk enough, and she'd probably invite Serah in herself."

Serah opened her mouth. Then she closed it. Everyone at the table knew that Vanille was right.

"And why are you even asking about Serah's pout?" Vanille went back to devouring her strawberry sundae. The cherry lay on the side of her plate, saved for last like always. After all, the cherry was the best part. "The pout isn't something that an older sister can wield. Only a younger sister can use it."

"Actually, that's not quite true." Serah looked about furtively as she lowered voice to barely more than a whisper. Fang and Vanille had to lean forward to catch her words. "You see, Lightning does have a pout. In fact, I learn how to pout from her."

"No. Freaking. Way." Fang leaned back and shook her head. She knew that Lightning was good at a lot of things, but there was no way she could be good at pouting. Heck, it was hard getting the soldier to smile sometimes, never mind pout. When Lightning wanted something, she didn't pout. No, she either snarled or pointed a gun. "You're making this up."

"Nope. She was our mom's favourite growing up. All she had to do was pout and mom would get her anything. She was really, really good at it. But after our mom died, well, she stopped. She had to take care of me, and there wasn't anyone else left to spoil her. That's when I started pouting. I know it seems silly, but she liked spoiling me. If acting a little childish made things easier for her, then that was okay with me."

Fang's fists clenched. She loved the woman that Lightning had become, she only wished it hadn't hurt so much for Lightning to get that way. If only she and Vanille had awakened from crystal sleep earlier, then maybe she could have met Lightning sooner. They would have fallen in love anyway – Fang was sure of that – and then Lightning wouldn't have felt so alone for so long.

"Of course, that wasn't the only reason I pouted." Serah grinned at Fang. "I did get a lot of stuff I wanted."

"I bet you did. But I still don't believe you. There is no way that Lightning knows how to pull off a pout."

"You don't have to believe me. It's true." Serah's voice deepened and took on a dark, haunted tone. Each word fell from her lips like a peal of thunder. "If you want, you could ask her to show you. But be careful. If she does pout… it's over. You're dead."

"We'll see about that. I might have a teeny, tiny weakness when it comes to Vanille's pout, but I can handle your sister just fine. In fact, I handle her very well. Every night. And sometimes twice before lunch."

Serah ignored the obvious innuendo. She already knew about Lightning and Fang's vigorous sex life. In fact, she was pretty sure their neighbours knew too. "Fine, but it's your funeral."

X X X

Fang hadn't gone straight home after lunch. An expedition had returned with a number of unfamiliar plants, and they wanted Fang's opinion. It was a good thing they asked. Two of the plants were highly toxic, and the third was a rather exotic hallucinogen. Had they eaten them together, the expedition party would have ended up close to death while imagining the Maker had returned in a blaze of divine glory.

As for Vanille and Serah, the pair had gone for a quick spot of shopping after lunch. However, it was already mid-afternoon, so Vanille should already be home. Fang opened the front door and paused. She could hear the vacuum cleaner going. Lightning must be home then – perhaps she was finally taking a day off after weeks without a proper break.

Fang felt a pang of what felt very much like guilt. Lightning should be resting not cleaning. Admittedly, Fang didn't always do as much housework as she should. She didn't particularly like doing it, and Lightning was so good at it. Plus, Lightning had this thing about how it needed to be done. The cleaning had to be done exactly the way she wanted it to otherwise it wasn't good enough.

Yes, Lightning had a cleaning problem, but Fang didn't mind. The soldier never let it get too out of hand, and Fang continued to make a conscious effort to be tidier. Relationships were all about give and take, and when it came to Lightning, there wasn't much that Fang wasn't willing to give. Considering what – or whom – she got to take, Fang thought it was more than fair.

All the cleaning might pose another problem, however. Lightning's busy schedule hadn't left them with very much time to themselves. And they were both such physical people that not being able to indulge in some of the more physical aspects of their relationship was only half a step shy of painful. Fang needed her daily dose of Lightning, but after all the cleaning, Lightning might end up too tired to do anything but cuddle. Oh well, cuddling was nice in its own way, and at least Vanille wouldn't have anything else to complain about.

But as Fang stepped into the living room, she saw something horrible. Lightning wasn't using the vacuum cleaner. Vanille was.

Vanille never vacuumed, not if she could possibly find a way to squirm out of it or foist it off on Fang. Something was very, very wrong, and suddenly Fang was very, very scared. Serah's words echoed in her ears.

"Vanille?" Fang asked.

The younger woman turned to Fang. "Run!" She dropped the vacuum cleaner and clutched at Fang's sari. "Run, Fang. Run far and run fast! Go while you still can. Go before she –"

"Good afternoon, Fang."

Never before had Fang been so afraid of Lightning. Her beloved's voice was soft and saccharine, the very antithesis of the cool, collected soldier that Fang had fallen in love with. It was cute, and it was beyond terrifying. Still, she had to turn around, and so she did. Slowly. Lightning had shrugged off her Guardian Corps uniform. In its place, the pink haired woman wore a baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Uh, hi." Fang pushed Vanille behind her. Every one of her instincts screamed danger.

"Vanille told me an interesting story." Lightning lifted a mug of hot chocolate to her lips. Her fingernails looked as though they'd received a fresh manicure. "She said that you don't think I can pout."

"Well, no." Fang tried to shake Vanille off, but her sister had latched onto her like a barnacle. Vanille was trembling – she was terrified.

"She made me give her a manicure…" Despite Fang's keen hearing, she could scarcely hear Vanille's words. "I tried to say no, but then she pouted and… and…"

This was bad.

"We were having lunch," Fang explained. "Since you were busy with work again, and I was going to ask Serah about how to convince you take some time off and…" Dimly, Fang realised she was babbling. "Anyway, you're good a lot of things, but pouting? Remember how long it was before I could get you to smile? Not that I mind. I like you the way you are all growly and –"

Fang tailed off. Lightning had set her mug down on a nearby table and clasped her hands together under her chin. Almost in slow motion, Lightning's lower lip began to quiver, and the crystalline depths of her eyes grew a tad watery. The glimmer of tears wrenched at Fang's heart, and Lightning's voice, when she spoke, was so soft, demure, and disappointed that Fang's will could only crumble like a wooden shack in the path of the world's mightiest volcanic eruption.

"Cover your eyes!" Vanille screamed. "Quick!"

But it was too late.

"I've been so busy at work this week, Fang." Lightning gently tugged Fang's hands away from her face as she forced the huntress to meet her gaze. Step-by-step, Fang backed up until she flopped onto the couch. Lighting followed her, her pouting face only inches away. "And I haven't had any time to clean the house. It would be really, really nice if someone could clean the toilet and the shower, and I'd be so happy. I was hoping that maybe… if you weren't too busy… could you do it?"

"I… I…" Fang grit her teeth. Generations of Yun pride flowed through her. She was the greatest huntress the Yun had ever produced, a warrior without peer, a paragon of mental and physical strength and – "Sure."

Lightning's eyes twinkled and her pout vanished. "Thank you so much. I'll even supervise you, so that you do it right."

X X X

Serah prided herself on her loyalty to her friends. So when she'd gotten a panicked call from Fang, she'd steeled herself for the worst and headed over to the house her sister shared with Fang and Vanille. It didn't take her long to realise that she was too late.

The afternoon sun shone upon a tableau straight out of a horror movie: Vanille was mowing the lawn, Fang was clearing out the gutters of the roof, and Lightning was watching it all from a deckchair with a glass of wine in one hand.

Lightning must have used her pout. It was the only explanation. She needed to run. Now.

"Serah." Fang waved frantically. "Run!"

"Save yourself!" Vanille wailed.

Barely able to control her mounting terror, Serah turned.

"Hi." Lightning was right there. And she was pouting. "Do you think that maybe…"

X X X

Lightning took another sip of her wine. It was a lovely day for a glass of good red. And after the week she'd had, she could certainly use it. Perhaps she had been a little mean to the others, but the house did need a bit of a clean.

"Serah," Lightning shouted. "You missed a spot."

The younger woman turned back to the hedge she was trimming and sighed. "Thanks."

A small smile crossed Lightning's face. Life was good.

X X X

_Some years later…_

"Why is Diana cleaning up the living room on her own?" Fang asked.

Averia glanced up from her book. She had her legs draped over one arm of the couch and a glass of cola on the coffee table beside her. "Because she's the one who made a mess with all those blocks."

"I know that, but you always help her clean up. All she has to do is pout at you, and you fold like a paper bag." Fang knew the pattern quite well. She'd lived it with Vanille, and Serah still had Lightning wrapped around her finger.

"Yeah." Averia smirked. "But not this time. This time, I pouted."

Fang froze. Had Lightning taught Averia her deadly pout? Memories from years ago – an afternoon spent cleaning, scrubbing, washing – flooded back. She needed to get out here now. She –

Averia pouted at Fang.

And less than a minute later it was Diana and Fang cleaning up the living room.

Watching the whole thing unfold from the door of the living room, Lightning smiled. She'd taught Averia well.

X X X

**Author's Notes**

As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.

This chapter was based on Fangrai Forever Prompt #190: Serah and Vanille are both masters of the pout to get their way with their older sister, but in a surprising conversation it is revealed that Serah learned everything she knows, body posture, facial expression, and tone of voice, from her very own sister, Claire, long before their parents died and she changed. Now Fang is determined to get Lightning to reveal this so-called super pout. She succeeds, but to devastating effect.

I don't know if love at first sight exists, but when I saw this prompt, I knew what I had to do. Silliness aside, I thought it would be nice to let Lightning get the upper hand against Serah for once, to say nothing of her getting the upper hand on everyone else. What makes things even worse (for Fang and the others) is that Lightning already does so much for them. How can they refuse without seeming like jerks?

The bit at the end (with Averia and Diana) wasn't included in the first draft, but it felt like it would be a nice touch. Averia is largely putty in Diana's hands, so it's good to see her take control for once. And of course, Fang is still a big softie when it comes to her kids, especially when they're pouting.

I would also like to mention that I now have two short stories up on Amazon. If you're interested in a paranormal Western, "The Gunslinger and the Necromancer" may be what you're looking for. However, if you enjoy fantasy, you might like "The Last Huntress." There are links to both stories in my profile. Give them a try – you won't be disappointed.

As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


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